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J.P.wnd Prince


proince

After several long days at the grindstone, I managed to make it home Saturday night just in time to see the Cats put another notch in their proverbial bedpost courtesy of the glory hole that is the University of Tennessee. To be honest, I was so tired prior to the game I could only halfway muster the disdain that Tennessee truly deserves. I’ll leave the analysis of the actual game to those working on more sleep, but one play in particular got me excited to the point I had to write about it.

I don’t care that the Boogie Monster only had 5 points Saturday night. Likewise, it doesn’t bother me that on this night he shot free throws with less accuracy than the A Team on range day. I’m taking away two things from that game and two things only. 1- the W. 2- Cousins abuse of J.P. Prince on the offensive board at the 7:44 mark of the first half. You remember what I’m talking about- where Cuz took Prince’s defensive rebound from his outstretched hands, dunked on him, and stuffed him back in the gimp chest all in one fell swoop. As Sydney Dean so eloquently stated in the film White Men Can’t Jump, “it’s like this, you either smoke or you get smoked. And you got smoked.” Mr. Prince, you sir, got smoked.

If you weren’t sitting in a Rascal prior to that play and that didn’t get you out your seat, you might want to blink twice to make sure your wife isn’t executing your will. As Prince fell to the ground reeling from Boogie’s power, you could see him attempting to mutter his safe word “asparagus” as he tumbled into the cameras. At the conclusion of that play, Prince was so disoriented and shamed, he didn’t know whether to call a timeout, the Ghostbusters, or a SANE nurse. In short, it was awesome.

Boogie was able to take a small piece of Prince in an alpha male, dominating kind of way. It was sort of like how in prison life, other inmates won’t consider it “dainty” should one of their own take certain liberties by force of other freedom impaired individuals. Prince, you now know where you rank in this pecking order. This may actually have been beneficial to Prince given his Vol teammates/alumni’s proclivity for incarceration. By the way, has a TN player ever received a post-graduate degree without having “Care of Tennessee Department of Corrections” affixed to the envelope in which it arrived? I digress.

Now, some may think given that J.P. is kin to the beloved Tayshaun, maybe he should get a pass. The answer to that is absolutely not. Don Swayze will never be Patrick, Frank Stallone will never be Sly, and Chyna Kardashian will never be Kim. They don’t compare and each diminish the accomplishments of the latter by their mere existence. So, Boogie- cheers to you my man. You made a 30 year old white man jump around his living room like he was an extra at an And 1 Tour Stop.

Article written by Turkey Hunter

31 responses to “J.P.wnd Prince”

  1. SUPREMECATS

    Boogie Man, not Boogie Monster.

  2. UKcat29

    Sccoter McFadden= “Nut Buster”

  3. Wall2Cousins

    typical Tennesee player position when the police come “DOWN ON YOUR KNEES….HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD”

  4. ky_99

    HAHA Drew your prison bitch name is “The Rear Queer” also Corey is “The Goo Gobbler”

  5. Irwin R. Fletcher

    “attempting to mutter his safe word “asparagus” as he tumbled”

    Brilliant!

  6. yeah yeah

    Someone link the video

  7. Big Oz
  8. snowdayzrule

    allan houston = shower stalker

  9. snowdayzrule

    wayne chism = lips

  10. snowdayzrule

    scotty hopson = man hole

  11. MACON's vols got smoked

    Bobby Maze = Needle D!ck
    Ron Slay = B.F. Goodlick
    Allan Houston = Shower Stalker
    Macon Volfan = Queenie
    Chris Lofton = Ankle Grabber
    Wayne Chism = Lips
    Steven Pearl = Honey Hole
    C.J. Watson = The Wanker
    Bernard King = Nappy Hole
    Dane Bradshaw = Howard Sperm (Bradshaw made UTs all century team – http://www.utsports.com/sports/m-baskbl/spec-rel/100th-team.html)

  12. snowdayzrule

    bruce pearl = tiny hiney

  13. Gavin S.

    SANE nurse. Had to look that one up. Well played, sir.

  14. macon_volfan

    I mean, if you want to overlook the fact that Prince had position and that Boogie went over the back, then I guess that’s okay T.H….

    See you in Nashville.

  15. snowdayzrule

    you switching to a vandy fan? thought UT was in Knoxville?

  16. Wunderkind

    Macon, they could have called 5 fouls on Boogie for that move and we would still be cheering it. Just like Purry teabagging the ridiculous UNLV kid last year, glory happens whether a foul is committed or not.

    Turkey Hunter, I bow to your awesomeness, this post is an instant classic and will go down in history. Attach a Youtube link that won’t get pulled and I might have to edit it into Wikipedia, or at least Encyclopedia Drammmatica!

  17. macon_volfan

    #15-I’ll be seeing TH in Nashville for the SECT.

    #16-I said ‘damn’ when it happened too.

  18. Brett Crouch

    Chyna Kardashian. LMFAO!

  19. Owensboro CatFan

    Chyna Kardashian. That is THE funniest thing I have read today. I am forced to “share” the remote, so last night I had the pleasure of “enjoying” the show “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”. Khloe does look just like Chyna doll. Go ahead and subtract 500 man points from me for that admission.

  20. notbillyg

    TH > KSR staff combined.

  21. Keeoin it Real

    Great post TH!!!

    SANE nurse… lol…

  22. Double Zero Mostel

    J.P. Prince’s head= The Crystal Skull from Indiana Jones

  23. Jacoby

    Cousins took a piece of Princes manhood much like Leslie did to Boogie in a much more degrading way?… come on Turkey….

  24. Wildcater

    I had a headache and the only thing to cure it was more Turkey Hunter. Feeling better now.

  25. Palsgraff and Railroads

    Awesome post. Love it.

  26. sawyer

    best ksr post i can remember reading. TH has to be the best writer on the site. exquisite.

  27. bwadki0

    Turkey, what do you do for a living that would give you knowledge of the SANE nurse. I am intrigued

  28. bigcat76

    Anybody got a clip I’d love to see it again?

  29. DVP
  30. Mike

    Don Swayze will never be Patrick, Frank Stallone will never be Sly, and Chyna Kardashian will never be Kim, but you will always be a Turkey.

  31. dunkitgood

    “Courtesy of the glory hole that is Tennessee?” Kids you don’t want to know!