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Prophecy says the world will end on Saturday, so of course Kentucky will beat Florida


According to a biblical prophecy, the world is supposed to end on Saturday, September 23, the same day Kentucky attempts to snap its 30-year losing streak to Florida. Coincidence? I think not.

How many times have you thought to yourself, the streak will never end? That the only way Kentucky would finally beat the Gators is if pigs flew by your window or hell froze over? Years of demoralizing losses will do that to even the most optimistic fan, which makes this prophecy so fitting.

Christian numerologists claim that on Saturday, Planet X — also known as Nibiru — will collide with Earth, causing widespread volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and earthquakes. Given the natural disasters wrecking havoc across the globe in recent weeks, that doesn’t seem so far off from reality. As for Kentucky football’s role in it all, well, just read these verses in Luke 21: 25 to 26…

“25: There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’

“’26: Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.’

I mean, I’m no biblical scholar, but let’s break this down:

“There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars.” 

  • Kentucky is 3-0 coming off an upset of South Carolina
  • Florida could be without nine players, including two top offensive playmakers
  • Florida’s offense and defense rank last and second to last in the SEC
  • The Gators needed a miracle to beat Tennessee

“On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea.”

Sounds to me like the football world coming to grips with Kentucky’s success.

“People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken…Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.”

A perfect description of the scene in Kroger Field as Kentucky tries to run the clock out on the final drive of the game. If the Cats are up one score with two minutes let, you KNOW fans will be fainting from terror and a few will clutch their hearts in fear. Should Kentucky finally beat Florida on Saturday, they would be on top of the SEC East standings and have a legitimate shot at going to the SEC Championship, and what is more core-shaking than that?

If the world does end on Saturday, I just hope it happens after the buzzer has sounded and the Cats officially snap the streak. Then, come and take me, God, because I will have reached nirvana.

If it ends just as Austin MacGinnis’ game-winning kick approaches the uprights…well, what would be more Kentucky football than that?

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

25 responses to “Prophecy says the world will end on Saturday, so of course Kentucky will beat Florida”

  1. runningunnin.454

    Kyrie, is that you?

    1. bdmnky81

      One point for you, sir

  2. Sentient Third Eye

    As long as the world last until the game is officially over, I’m fine with it – then we get bragging rights for ETERNITY!

    1. ClutchCargo

      Or we have to deal with yet another loss to UF for eternity. THAT would be the most UK football thing ever!

  3. Rick_S

    Respect the bible!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Peas and Carrots

      Lol

    2. Mathlete

      What part of the bible are these “numerologists” drawing from? “Luke’s Colon 06:15am”? It’s bogus and has nothing to do with biblical texts.

      You don’t have to spend much time at Keeneland to know horse crap when you smell it.

    3. east-ky-boy

      I agree about respecting the Bible! Unless someone is legitimately posting something with intent of spreading the word, leave it out.

  4. RealCatsFan

    Most likely scenario: Kentucky is trailing Florida 16-14, and has the ball on Florida’s 30 yard line with 5 seconds on the clock. They kick a last second field goal that is dead center, plenty of distance, and on its way to seal the victory and break the hearts of Gator Nation. Then, 10 feet before reaching the uprights, a swarm of locusts descends on the ball and completely consumes it before it crosses the uprights. So. Kentucky. Football. – for eternity… 😀

  5. Trueblue7

    Matthew 24:36

    No One Knows the Day or Hour

    36 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven,[a] but My Father only.

    1. Mathlete

      or, in KSR terms – “where’d you get that prophecy, the toilet store?”

  6. Howdy Doody
    1. Mathlete

      Yeah, that sign’s pretty trashy… as a general rule, if it killed or ruined the lives of innocent people it’s not funny.

      Slightly cleverer but still crude enough to be funny: “What’s wet, salty, and all over Florida’s faces? Gator tears.”

  7. Sentient Third Eye

    If you’re saved, then you don’t have to worry about when the End is. You’re good even if the world doesn’t end!

    1. MassConfusion

      Matt 24:13 You need a better teacher

  8. secrick

    Food, Politics and Now the Bible. Sports in the most ridiculous manner possible.

  9. katfan33

    More religious nonsense. But I guess it worked, people are talking about it. Personally, I don’t have the time or energy for fairytales.

    1. TBW3011

      Plenty of nonsense spewed today that has nothing to do with religion.

    2. 9IsNext

      Yet you posted. So, you too, are officially talking about it.

    3. east-ky-boy

      Wow don’t believe in the Bible? So 2 rocks collides and later we have human beings and Dr Pepper machines? It takes more faith to be a atheist 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    4. katfan33

      Cute

  10. catsarerunnin

    Human sacrifice…dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!!

  11. juettann

    Bravo, Tyler!

  12. bruce122767

    It better end on Saturday as I have maxed out my credit cards and home equity line. I am going out having fun

  13. katfan33

    And of course I don’t believe in your bible. Kind of a ridiculous book, right. 😂