Kentucky can’t escape nerds.
Last year the Cats were forced to play Georgia Tech in the TaxSlayer Bowl, a team that runs an outdated offense for fans who know how to code better than they know how to communicate with other humans. This year Kentucky is facing the Ivy League of the Big 10 from the Northside of Chicago.
Northwestern is known for many great things, all of which pale in comparison to their journalism program. A minor league system for sports journalists, most of the faces you see on ESPN went to Northwestern. How can you tell if they were Northwestern Wildcats? Just wait, they’ll let you know.
The leader of the Northwestern Nerds is Greeny, formerly the Mike’s Mike to Mike and Mike, he absolutely lost his mind when the Wildcats made the NCAA Tournament last year for the first time in 787 years. Not only was he sitting front row for all of the games, Mike grabbed the mic and led a pregame pep rally.
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) March 18, 2017
Hopefully we will get to see another riveting “Win one for the Gipper” from Greeny in Nashville. If we can’t have that, I’ll gladly trade that to watch Northwestern alum Darren “D-Money” Rovell play basketball. The ESPN business reporter is best known for his niche Twitter game and his terrible basketball skills.
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) March 2, 2016
“I am good at some sports, including running and tennis.”
Watching Darren Rovell play basketball (or do anything, really) is so awkward it legit makes me uncomfortable pic.twitter.com/FEcISSRh8N
— Jordan Zirm (@clevezirm) September 7, 2016
I could watch Rovell be awful at basketball all day and not stop laughing, but there are more Northwestern fish to fry, like Michael Wilbon. I don’t know what turned him into a Kentucky hater, but it’s almost as despicable as his affinity for the humblebrag.
And the list goes on and on, from Zach Braff and Zooey Deschanel to that one kid from the NCAA Tournament, Northwestern has every nerd demographic covered.
There’s only one way to keep the nerdy purple people away from Music City: fill it to the brim with blue. You know the drill. Buy your tickets and prepare for a bowl celebration the Big Blue Nation hasn’t seen in almost a decade.