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The “Princess Bride” Just Turned 30…Inconceivable!

The “Princess Bride” Just Turned 30…Inconceivable!

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of a glorious day.  On September 25, 1987 The Princess Bride was given to the world, and the world has been a much better place for it.  I could write a lot about The Princess Bride.  It’s one of my triumvirate of favorite movies (along with Jaws and Jurassic Park) and a movie I regularly watch multiple times a year.  I never get tired of it.  The cast is perfect, the story never gets old, and it is one of the most quoteable movies of all time.  Everybody has their favorites: “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya…”, “as you wish”, mawwiage”, and so many more.

The enduring charm of The Princess Bride is that it is basically the perfect movie.  I suppose that last sentence was not entirely accurate since it only has a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, but I will disregard that other three percent.  There is absolutely something for everyone in this movie.  Practically every genre is covered: fantasy, adventure, action, romantic comedy, drama, and a little bit of horror if you count the shrieking eels and Count Rugen.  The movie is also appropriate for any age group.  I have been watching The Princess Bride for as long as I can remember, and it just never gets old.  I even named my dog (pictured below) Buttercup after the main character.  Needless to say, I love this movie and to honor its 30th anniversary I made a list of the top five quotes that are most often overlooked as great quotes:

“Anybody want a peanut?”-Fezzik

“I’ll explain it and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon…”- Westley

“Have fun stormin’ the castle.”  Miracle Max

“You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.”- Inigo Montoya

“I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake.  But for now, rest well and dream of large women.”- Westley

Oh what the heck, a Princess Bride post wouldn’t be complete without this too:

What are some of your favorite Princess Bride quotes?


The Funkhouser Situation: Episode 3

The Funkhouser Situation with Chris Tomlin and Lee Cruse is back.  This week they touch on a variety of topics, but first, they start with a message from a listener.  Highlights:

—  The struggle is real: Lee can’t master technology.

—  Country music stinks: how it’s changed and the problem with young country artists.

—  If you could make only one TV channel, what would it be?

—  Stand-up Comics vs. Improv/Sketch Comics

—  The TV shows Lee and Chris are currently watching.

You can easily listen on the KSR App, available on iTunes and Google Play.  Streaming online is simple through Pod Paradise.  You can also get it directly to your phone by subscribing to “Kentucky Sports Radio” on iTunes or via Android’s Podcast Addict app.


The Only Stevie Nicks Quiz You Never Knew You Needed

The Only Stevie Nicks Quiz You Never Knew You Needed

This week, many of the country’s greatest chefs will come to Louisville for the Bourbon and Beyond festival. I’m beyond excited to see, taste and Instagram all of the dishes I can possibly try.  But, if I’m honest with myself, I’m most excited about hearing Stevie Nicks on Sunday night. Nicks is a legend. Her voice is better than yours.   Her style is a look only she can pull off. And she’s still in the game.   Stevie Nicks is the type of artist that can slip out of your mind, but when you’re reminded of how much you love her, it’s the best kind of nostalgia.  This Sunday, Stevie Nicks will be on the Louisville waterfront. Hopefully she’ll sing all of her hits, but I don’t care as long as I get to see her twirl in her ridiculous shawl. To get in the proper head space, here’s a little quiz to remind us of why Stevie Nicks is one of the most iconic women in rock music.

1. How old is Stevie Nicks?

a. 62

b. 65

c. 67

d. 69 (the edge of seventy)

 69 ˙p

2. What profession did Nicks plan on pursuing before she dropped out of college?

a. Lawyer

b. Psychiatrist

c. Social Worker

d. English Teacher

ɹǝɥɔɐǝ┴ ɥsᴉlƃuƎ ˙p

3. Which song is ranked highest on the Rolling Stone 500 Greatest Songs of All Time?

a. “The Chain”

b. “Dreams”

c. “Landslide”

d. “Go Your Own Way”

,,ʎɐM uʍO ɹno⅄ oפ,, ˙p

4. Which of these movies or TV shows does NOT feature a song sung by Stevie Nicks or Fleetwood Mac?

a. Phenomenon

b. Twister

c. Practical Magic

d. Forrest Gump

uouǝɯouǝɥԀ ˙

5. What’s the title of Stevie Nicks’ official fan website?

a. Nicks Chicks

b. The Sir Nicks-a-Lots

c. The Nicks Fix

d. Band of Gypsys

xᴉℲ sʞɔᴉN ǝɥ┴ ˙Ɔ

6. Which is Stevie Nicks’ microphone stand?

ɥnp˙˙˙˙ ˙Ɔ

7. Which Destiny’s Child song sampled “Edge of Seventeen?”

a. “Bootylicious”

b. “Jumpin Jumpin”

c. “Sweet Sixteen”

d. “Say My Name”

”snoᴉɔᴉlʎʇooq“ ˙∀

8. Which of these cringe-worthy article titles about Nicks is fake news?

a. “Stevie Nicks: The men, the music, the menopause”

b. “Watch Stevie Nicks Smash Herself in the face with a twirling baton.”

c. “Harry Styles once gave Stevie Nicks a Carrot Cake…”

d. All of the above

ǝʌoqɐ ǝɥʇ ɟo ll∀ ˙p

9. Watching which TV show got Nicks through a bout of depression?

a. The Crown

b. This is Us

c. Big Little Lies

d. Game of Thrones

sǝuoɹɥ┴ ɟo ǝɯɐפ ˙p

10. What’s the second most common search for “questions people may ask” about Nicks according to Google?

a. Where can I get a kimono like her?

b. How often does said kimono get caught in the car door?

c. Is Stevie Nicks a witch?

d. Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?

¿ɥɔʇᴉʍ ɐ sʞɔᴉN ǝᴉʌǝʇS sI ˙Ɔ

Results:

  • If you got 0-2 questions correct you are…

Just like the white winged dove, you did poorly.  Ooo, baby, ooo, ooo.

  • If you got 3-4 questions correct you are…

A timid tambourine–you  have some of the pieces, but not the whole band.

  • If you got 5-7 questions correct you are…

Going full twirl.  Like Stevie with a fringed shawl, you’re truly in your element.

  • If you got 8-10 questions correct you have…

Won in a landslide.  Look at your reflection in the snow-covered hills, you’ve crushed this silly quiz


The Funkhouser Situation: Episode 2

Lee Cruse has returned to The Funkhouser Situation to discuss a variety of topics cross the pop culture landscape with Chris Tomlin.  Today’s primary topic: modern westerns.  Highlights include:

—  This week’s hits in the box office.

—  Will a setting make you more likely to watch a certain film?

—  Tomlin still thinks La La Land won Best Picture.

—  Movies that create an emotional reaction.

—  The Best Westerns made in the last 30 years.

You can easily listen on the KSR App, available on iTunes and Google Play.  Streaming online is simple through Pod Paradise.  You can also get it directly to your phone by subscribing to “Kentucky Sports Radio” on iTunes or via Android’s Podcast Addict app.


Hopeful Thoughts For Stephen Colbert’s Emmys

Hopeful Thoughts For Stephen Colbert’s Emmys

The 2016 Emmys were a snoozefest. All of the cool moments that the you think you remember about the 2016 Emmys were actually from the 2017 Oscars–La La Land “winning” over Moonlight, the Hollywood Tour Bus Gimmick, Nicole Kidman’s inhuman clapping, etc.  Even though television has become more interesting than film, the Emmys have become a more monotonous affair.  This Sunday, Stephen Colbert will lead the charge to make the Emmys great again.  It’s an uphill battle.  If they use last year’s broadcast, hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, as an example of what not to do, then hopefully the quality of the award show will improve.

Embrace the Opening Segment

Often, the internet complains about the opening segment of awards shows.  The “problem” is that they always seem to be a hodgepodge of characters from nominated shows assisting the host because he is late to get to the theater. The segment has officially been over used.  Colbert tends to thrive in these opening bits.  When he transitioned from Comedy Central to CBS, his introduction showed him crossing the United States while singing the national anthem with fans.  It was lovely, but more importantly it was original. The award show structure is rarely described as original. Hopefully, Stephen Colbert can introduce a new perspective on the tired opening montage.

Avoid the Viral Awards Show Moment

Last year, Kimmel broke the number one rule for trying to “go viral.”  He tried to go viral.  Even with the help of the Stranger Things kids, the shtick of passing out paper bag lunches to the audience will never be iconic.  Viral moments are supposed to be effortless and authentic.  Right now, in some Hollywood writer’s room, some poor writers are desperately trying to develop what will be the next Oscars selfie or pizza delivery.  Hopefully Stephen Colbert’s charisma will help guide him through any ill-advised segments.

Presenter Problems

Nothing makes an awards show lose steam quicker than when unprepared/uninterested presenters take the stage. Their negative energy sucks the life out of any gaining momentum of entertainment.  Moments that are supposed to be lighthearted and fun turn into jokes that are either too tired or too aggressive for no reason.   Someone always fumbles for their glasses. It’s a thankless job.  Like the opening segment, the idea of presenters needs to be re-imagined.  Colbert’s team has a gift for interesting segments.  Hopefully his talent translates to Sunday night’s presentation of awards.

Colbert is in an odd position on Sunday night.  He is a host for a television awards show but has made his name commenting on politics.  In 2017, politics have become more dramatic and entertaining than all of television and movies combined.  Finding the balance between commenting on our current state of reality and celebrating the winners of the 69th Emmys isn’t an easy feat. Coupled with the well tread missteps of opening segment fatigue, viral moment obsession and lethargic presenters, hosting an awards show isn’t for the weak. Colbert needs to be ready to play ball on Sunday.  Something tells me, he’s up for the task.


What Happened When Conrad Thompson Bought a Ric Flair Robe and Ended Up Being One of the Biggest Names in Wrestling Podcasting

What Happened When Conrad Thompson Bought a Ric Flair Robe and Ended Up Being One of the Biggest Names in Wrestling Podcasting

On August 5, 2016 the world of wrestling podcasting was turned upside down with the premiere of Something to Wrestle…with Bruce Prichard.  The podcast, featuring former WWE employee Bruce Prichard, has become a huge success and developed a loyal following of fans.  With the success of Something to Wrestle, another wrestling podcast was born.  What Happened When premiered on January 30, 2017 with former WCW personality Tony Schiavone.  Both podcasts took veterans from the wrestling industry and gave them a platform to tell their stories.  The common thread between these two podcasts, aside from wrestling, is co-host Conrad Thompson.  Conrad has gone from wrestling fan to king of the wrestling podcast hill, and it has certainly been an interesting path.

(more…)


The Funkhouser Situation: Episode 1

The Funkhouser Situation: Episode 1

Welcome to The Funkhouser Situation, KSR’s new weekly podcast that will scavenge the world of pop culture to discuss the best in entertainment.  Your host, Chris Tomlin, is joined by Lee Cruse in the inaugural podcast to dish on the weak summer movie slate, the upcoming fall TV lineup and…

—  How do you bring people back to the movie theater?

—  Beauty and the Beast was a hit, but Lee’s still taking Cinderella.

—  A breakdown of Taylor Swift and Katy Perry’s new music videos.

—  Lee and Chris’ Top Ten Comedies of the last ten years.

You can easily listen on the KSR App, available on iTunes and Google Play.  Streaming online is simple through Pod Paradise.  You can also get it directly to your phone by subscribing to “Kentucky Sports Radio” on iTunes or via Android’s Podcast Addict app.


Rationalizing the Narcos Emmy Snub

Rationalizing the Narcos Emmy Snub

Emmy season is upon us.  On September 17, 2017, the enlightened Emmy voters will crown the outstanding actors and actresses for this season.  Award shows are silly.  Unlike sports, there aren’t specific rules to define the winner.  As a result, shows that we fall in love with get snubbed because others don’t have as sophisticated taste as we do.  This year, Narcos’ Wagner Moura is the Emmy’s biggest snub in my heart.  Moura plays the infamous Pablo Escobar.  With Netflix’s third season of the show dropping last week, the snub feels even more painful. The omission isn’t even the nomination that gets the most attention, many writers have made a case for Justin Theroux’s The Leftovers performance, but Moura’s oversight is a snub worth looking into.

Maybe Moura’s performance just isn’t good enough?

The 2017 nominees for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series are Anthony Hopkins, Bob Odenkirk, Liev Schreiber, Milo Ventimiglia, Kevin Spacey, Sterling K. Brown and Matthew Rhys.  These are some well-established dudes.  Moura, an actor whose only other recognizable credit is 2013’s Elysium, doesn’t have the same acting pedigree as the Hopkins and Spaceys of the world.  He would have been a dark horse candidate.  But, the actual portrayal of Escobar is worthy.  For example, in the episode “Los Pepes,” Pablo’s daughter asks him if Santa Claus will be able to find them, even though they are living in a secret hideaway.  The physicality of Escobar’s reply is greater than any Kevin Spacey smirk in House of Cards or handsome smolder from Ventimiglia in This is Us.

Moura’s acting is worthy.

Are the subtitles too much work?

Narcos suffers from the same problem as The Leftovers–the shows are difficult to watch.  If they were accelerated reader books, they would be worth 26 points.  There are many pieces to their puzzle. In Narcos’ case, their story isn’t easily accessible. The story is mostly told in Spanish.

I legitimately think this factors into Narcos’ popularity. It is impossible to fold laundry and watch Narcos. Or check twitter. Or zone out and watch Narcos.  The show requires all of your attention.  The show is not an easy watch. Unlike Stranger Things, This is Us or other Emmy darlings, the show requires more effort. As a result, I believe that I know more Spanish than I did after two years in high school, even though most of my new vocabulary words are curse words.

Are the costumes overpowering the actors?

If you’re not reading subtitles, then you’re probably looking at Pablo’s mustache. The mustache is a character all to itself.  As Escobar’s troubles increase the shape of his mustache seems to symbolically transform.  I missed an entire conversation about murdering civilians because I was consumed with analyzing how the parabola of facial hair had seemed to shift into a tighter, more disappointed arch.

But the facial hair isn’t the only distraction in Narcos. It’s easy to become obsessed with the early 90s costumes.  Escobar’s wardrobe is thrilling.  His collection of nautical sweatshirts are distracting. His sagging jeans are forever etched into my memory.  There are times when the actors aren’t wearing the clothes, the clothes are wearing them.

But, who could possibly wear these sweaters and pull it off?

I refuse to believe that Wagner Moura’s performance isn’t good enough to be listed on the ballot of the Outstanding Lead Actor in a drama series.  (If there had been one more stupid sweatshirt, I would offer him up for Outstanding Actor in a comedy series.) Whether viewers were turned off by Murphy’s overly assertive narration or being constantly reminded that this isn’t the actual Pablo Escobar with actual photos of the original outlaw, we’ll never know. For what it’s worth, Moura’s performance as the most fearsome man sporting the most comical sweater will be my vote for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series for many years to come.


The Object Of Nightmares Has Come: It Arrives

The Object Of Nightmares Has Come: It Arrives

Around the summer of 1988 or 1989, my best friend had a large book collection. A couple of the books were by Glen Cook and the exploits of the Black Company, a very Tolkienesque novel with magic, violence, and tragedy. They were wonderful books to have for a 14 year old boy, novels of dreams and fantasy. He also gave me a few books by Stephen King, of which I had never read. A few of the first ones I read are the classics: Salem’s Lot, The Shining, The Stand, etc. However, as much as these novels had some terror in them, nothing could have prepared me for the nightmares that came when I finally tackled It. To say the novel is a bit long is being generous. A whopping 1,138 pages of black text on fading white/yellow paper, which was easy to read with a flashlight under a blanket.

 

When 1990 rolled around I had mostly forgotten how scary the novel is. I never had any phobia when it came to clowns, so Pennywise visually in my head didn’t frighten me. The psychological terror came from the unknown terror of being a kid in the woods without any help from adults. Then the It miniseries came out on TV and all of the nightmares returned. If you’ve seen It or remember It, the miniseries starred several known actors of the day. John Ritter, Annette O’Toole, Harry Anderson, Tim Reid, Richard Thomas, Dennis Christopher, and Richard Masur played the grown up adults of the novel that had fought It 27 years before and defeated It temporarily. What I remember the most was the awesome performance of Tim Curry as Pennywise the dancing clown. Was I scared when I watched as a 16 year old? Absolutely. Did It hold up over time? Not so much. Watching It again this week was quite a letdown in fact. I’m not any less fascinated by the terror, but I realized you just can’t make something terrifying when its on network television.

Now we get to the meat of this article because It has returned. Director Andy Muschietti has brought Pennywise to the big screen. Actor Bill Skarsgard has put on the clown makeup to enter our nightmares once again. With the novel being so long, containing so much visual and stimulating information, Muschietti has wisely split the film into 2 parts. The second film has been green-lit already with the Mama director returning. The first film, which debuts on Friday, September 8th, will be following the group of kids known as the Loser’s Club. The time frames in the novel are 1957-1958 and jumping ahead to 1984-1985. Pennywise returns every 27 years to feed off the town of Derry, Maine. The new film has changed the years with the kids era being the mid-80’s and the next cycle in current times. With the success of the Netflix series Stranger Things as a guideline, Muschietti appears to have successfully captured the look of this time period as well. Will It work? If early reviews are to be believed It looks like a success. A new era for Pennywise to feed on our nightmares and face off against the Loser’s Club. A new film to terrify audiences on a large scale.

Will It live up to the hype? I’ll offer up this. I visited both the novel and the miniseries in the last few weeks in preparation for the film’s release. What I found has me both excited and frightened. The TV It has not aged well, especially when the adults era is on screen. Also, there is only so much you can do on network TV. The novel however confirmed my fears. It is terrifying. It will give you the willies. It will make your skin crawl. It will promise you your wildest dreams. It wants to give you a balloon. It wants to make you float. It needs to feed. It has come for Derry and all that dare watch. It.


FAQ: The University of Southern Mississippi

FAQ: The University of Southern Mississippi

What is Southern Mississippi?

Good question. For these purposes, “Southern Mississippi” can either refer to the actual southern region of the state of Mississippi – or as the colloquial nomenclature for “The University of Southern Mississippi,” which is the opponent for the University of Kentucky Wildcats’ 2017 football opener.

Let’s start with the former. What can you tell me about southern Mississippi?

I can tell you that it’s in Mississippi which, largely, is an unforgiving hellscape of Biscuitvilles and Winn-Dixies held together as a society only by the lifeblood of the state’s inhabitants, dialyzed through the hundreds of thousands of mosquitoes which literally transfer this blood from citizen to citizen.

You don’t make it sound very great.

Oh, it’s fine. It’s one-thousand degrees in the dead of summer, with 300% humidity, and then in the fall it’s still pretty hot. Then, in the winter, it doesn’t get that cold but the leaves still fall off the trees, which just makes everything ugly and it still doesn’t feel like Christmas. Also, there are a great number of things in Mississippi which can kill you, which include but are not limited to timber rattlesnakes, cottonmouth snakes, bears, sinkholes, tornadoes, ticks, raw oysters, wild hogs, sick raccoons, falling out of a tree stand while hunting, skunk apes, letting your cousin shoot an apple off your head, distillery explosion, driving your truck into a swamp, livestock judging mishap, youth archery club accident, and crushing sadness.

What about Southern Mississippi, the University?

That’s probably better, I guess. Southen Miss’ official team mascot was, until the early 1970s, “the Southerners,” before being changed to the “Golden Eagles” in 1972. Critics have hailed this move as misguided, as the golden eagle tends to be found in the western and northern US states and as of 2014 had a southeastern population of only 5,100 when there are currently an estimated 2.99 million southerners in the state of Mississippi. In 2003, Southern Miss tried to trademark a new “golden eagle” logo but was the subject of a lawsuit filed by the University of Iowa, who claimed it looked too much like their logo. Many scholars agree that this is the most boring lawsuit in history.

What is campus life like at the University of Southern Mississippi?

Being honest, if there is a party center of Mississippi, it’s Hattiesburg. It’s about 90 minutes from the ocean and about two hours from New Orleans. They have a giant crawfish boil called “Crawfish Fest” for the school once a year and its list of intramural games include “Battleship” and “Yard Games.” It’s also heavily a greek campus; this greek system, however, consists of only one large fraternity, and even then that fraternity’s letters inexplicably include the letter D, a Pepsi logo and an emoji of a ski boot. Each Friday in the fall the school hosts a “movies at the Hub” event outside the school’s student center, with every week being a showing of the 2005 The Dukes of Hazzard reboot.

What’s it like to be a student at Southern Miss?

Students wishing to register for the fall semester may still do so by visiting Miss Odette in her home at the far corner of Lake Thoreau, where she will scatter bones to tell you what your major will be (registrar’s note: the Boiled Peanut Management major is full for the 2017 fall semester, minor is still available). Ratios for class structure are, generally, 12 students per teacher, 1 teacher per five classes, 8 horses per classroom. Class sessions may be held outside in case of wasps and students are responsible for purchasing their own books, class-required supplies, Yeti™ coolers and bait.

Who are Southern Mississippi’s most famous alumni?

Well-known graduates of the University of Southern Misssippi include musician Jimmy Buffett, quarterback Brett Favre, celebrity chef Cat Cora, The Real World: Las Vegas’ Trishelle, Doug Harvison (the one who ran for city council, not the one who manages the Whataburger on Route 10), Smart Bill down at the courthouse, Dancing Ronnie and Calvin’s slutty girlfriend Taylor, the one with the three kids who works at the truck stop and makes the breakfast sandwiches.

If it’s cool with you I think I’ll just stay here. I’m good.

Suit yourself. More grits for me.


Reviewing Princess Diana’s Story Twenty Years Later

Reviewing Princess Diana’s Story Twenty Years Later

August 31, 2017 is the twentieth anniversary of Princess Diana’s death. The tragic anniversary typically prompts people to tell stories that begin with “I remember I was at my…”  Her death is an instant trigger for late 90s nostalgia.  The PBS documentary Diana – Her Story attempts to tell more of the untold pieces.  There is no shortage of documentaries, tell-all books or movies about the royal family. Diana – Her Story, however, uses her home videos to tell her story but with a slant. Even with all of the previous tellings of Diana’s story, there is still more to know.

One striking detail that the documentary shows is just how odd Charles and Diana’s relationship was from the beginning.  When explaining her first impression of her future husband, Diana describes Charles as being “like a bad rash.”  Charles was persistent and unpredictable. At one point, Charles asked her to “sit around while I do my work.” The line is not swoon-worthy, an indicator of a courtship that is in stark contrast to the visual of a “fairy tale wedding.”

Their odd courtship led to a union that was “a marriage in name only.”  Diana – Her Story isn’t ground  breaking.  What is shocking is how cavalier Charles is in public about his infidelities. The documentary shows footage of Charles making an unfortunate joke about needing two wives to walk down the opposite sides of the streets, with him giving instruction from the middle.  The story, told from Diana’s perspective, does not give Charles a likable disposition.  According to Diana, he refused to be the “Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.”  After twenty years, knowing Diana’s fate, this sentiment seems even more disturbing.

Diana – Her Story seems more hopeful when it pulls away from how Diana was wronged and moves toward her search to find “her voice.”  There are moments when the documentary feels like a modern adaptation of The King’s Speech.  The home video camera records the moments when Diana works one-on-one with her speech coach.  As the coach encourages her to speak with “more energy” or “slightly faster,” the audience can see her slowly gain the confidence she had lost.  His moments of praise and her genuine smile are pieces of her that could never be recreated.  It’s a touching moment because it’s not Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush playing a King working through a stammer.  It’s a real woman, who would soon be gone, talking to people “from the guts.”

The documentary slowly creeps to the year of Diana’s death.  There aren’t spoilers to this documentary.  Every viewer knows how her story ends. In the last five minutes, the narration stops.  Glimpses of the moments that lead up to 1997 are spliced between two ballet dancers.  (Earlier, viewers were told that if she hadn’t been a Princess, Diana would have liked to be a ballerina.)  The dance leads to the final moments of footage from Diana’s life.  The urgency and desire to tell her, from behind the screen to not go, to turn around, is heartbreaking.    What’s left of her fairy tale turns into a Greek tragedy.

Seeing that last image of her reminds me of where I was on August 31, 1997.  I remember I was at my house.  My mom was making me breakfast. Seeing Diana – Her Story reminds me that even though there are countless tellings and re-tellings of your story, there are still bits and pieces need to be told.


Lyrical Interpretation: “Look What You Made Me Do”

Lyrical Interpretation: “Look What You Made Me Do”

Last Friday, the world was rocked with the release of the first single from Taylor Swift’s upcoming album Reputation.  “Look What You Made Me Do” was the best thing in the world for some, caused Twitter meltdowns for others, and garnered about as much publicity as a new song possibly can.  I’m not here to discuss the merits of whether the song is good or not, I’ll let the masses decide that.  For a song release of such magnitude though, it is only natural that it deserves a deep dive into the lyrical content and determine what exactly the song is about.  I have done said analysis and want to share that with you now.  Here is the lyrical interpretation of “Look What You Made Me Do”.

I don’t like your little games
Don’t like your tilted stage
The role you made me play
Of the fool, no, I don’t like you
I don’t like your perfect crime
How you laugh when you lie
You said the gun was mine
Isn’t cool, no, I don’t like you (oh!)

This first verse makes it clear that Taylor has considered herself wronged by someone(s).  She is establishing early that she has a vendetta toward the antagonist.

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh

Here is our first real clue to what is happening in this song.  In this hook Taylor indicates that she rose from the dead.  Is she a zombie, a wight?  Unfortunately not, it’s much more nefarious.  Also note the “list of names” lyric.  Clearly this is a reference to a hit list which identifies not just one antagonist, but many.  Let’s examine further.

Ooh, look what you made me do x1000

Her actions are a clear result of previous actions from the aforementioned others on the hit list.  She isn’t taking responsibility for the actions, rather, placing the blame on others.  Curious.

I don’t like your kingdom keys
They once belonged to me
You asked me for a place to sleep
Locked me out and threw a feast (what?)
The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama
But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma
And then the world moves on, but one thing’s for sure
Maybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours

Hmm, so she was removed from a place of power and now she’s been plotting revenge ever since.  Also of note in this verse is the reference to sleep, this is a theme which we will see repeated later.

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh

This again, she really wants us to realize that she came back from the dead to seek retribution on her enemies.

Ooh, look what you made me do x1000 again

She really does say this line a lot.

I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me
I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

This line is repeated several times and really brings us to the heart of the matter.  She has disconnected from everybody else and now inhabits the nightmares of her enemies.  That can only lead us to the last bit of the song and the ultimate conclusion.

“I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.”
“Why?”
“Oh, ’cause she’s dead!” (ohh!)

Old Taylor is dead, which can only lead us to one conclusion…

Taylor Swift has become a modern-day Freddy Krueger.

Swift checks off all the boxes: she’s dead, presumably by the actions of others.  She’s out for revenge.  She acts within the nightmares of her enemies.  Don’t be surprised to see some changes to her wardrobe in upcoming concerts.