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Funkhouser

KSR’s take on recent non sports related happenings

Kentucky Thrones Radio: Season 5 Review

 

The new season of Game of Thrones is almost here.  Now in the season five review, we see the root of the storylines that define where the show is now.  Once again, it all begins with a dead Lannister.  Highlights include…

—  The season ends with all of the Starks in really bad shape.

—  Ramsay Bolton has transformed into the show’s most evil villain.

—  A story about a former Kentucky basketball player’s table manners.

—  Stannis is no longer the Mannis.

—  The House of Black and White is annoying, but not as annoying as Samwell Tarley.

 

You can easily listen on the KSR App, available on iTunes and Google Play.  Streaming online is simple through Pod Paradise.  You can also get it directly to your phone by subscribing to “Kentucky Sports Radio” on iTunes or via Android’s Podcast Addict app.


The Entertation Index: July 26-30

The Entertation Index: July 26-30

Each week KSR’s Funkhouser collects the best of pop culture. The Entertation Index collects the best of the week for your consumption.

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1984 — A Broadway adaptation of George Orwell’s dystopian story 1984 which warns viewers of “flashing lights, strobe effects, loud noises, gunshots, smoking and graphic depictions of violence and torture” has been blamed for audience members fainting, vomiting and fighting with one another in the theater. Crowds haven’t responded to a production like this since 2003’s short-lived An Evening with Kathie Lee Gifford.
Link: Broadway’s “1984” is Making Audience Members Puke, Faint and Fight

Bay, Michael — Look, we’re all friends here. Let’s not lie. We ALL ran out on Thursday evening at the midnight showing to see the new Transformers movie, unable to contain our excitement about the possibility that Optimus Prime helped King Arthur kill a dragon or that Megatron might knock over Stonehenge or whatever the hell Michael Bay came up with in his latest cash grabbing/childhood destroying move. But among all his iconic characters, I know the big question you have: who’s the sweatiest? YOU’RE WELCOME.
Link: Michael Bay Characters, Ranked By Sweatiness

Face-Off — It was twenty years ago this week that John Woo’s action hit Face/Off, starring Nicolas Cage and John Travolta, released in theaters. Just think: not one of us could have known then that, in an eerie twist, twenty years later John Travolta would trade his actual face with a sculpture of his face made by a middle school art student. You just can’t make this stuff up.
Link: John Woo’s “Face/Off” Twenty Years Later

Friends — A pop culture writer this week tweeted a chart in which the cast of the 90’s sitcom Friends was evaluated in terms of how much coffee they purchased and consumed on the show over the program’s 236 episodes. Drinking the least coffee over the ten seasons was Jennifer Aniston’s Rachel, while Lisa Kudrow’s Phoebe drank the most at 212 cups during the series’ run. As a result, an alternate graph consistent with these results proved, similarly, that Phoebe also pooped the most.

Link: Here’s How Much Coffee Every Friend Character Drank During the Series

Joel, Billy  — Fifty years after he failed to graduate from Long Island’s Hicksville High School, the now-accomplished Billy Joel returned to his alma mater to deliver the school’s commencement speech. But let’s be fair;  “returned to his alma mater to deliver the school’s commencement speech,” is just a nicer way to of saying “drove his 2009 Pontiac Solstice through the back wall of the gym during the ceremony and then told everyone the government is taking satellite pictures of his house.” Tomato, tomahto.
Link: Billy Joel Delivers Commencement Address at Hometown High School

Yorker, New — Listen, you probably already know this about me but I read The New Yorker. I know all the plays going on, all the art shows, I understand all the cartoons, I nod and I put one of the earpieces of my glasses in my mouth as I read it and I go to dinner parties and ask people if they read this or that and I know they haven’t. But listen, seriously, this is one of the best Shouts & Murmurs pieces I’ve seen in the publication in a long time. (Faux-pomposity aside, it’s really very funny.) Have a great weekend.
Link: Before the Internet

 


Why Trading Spaces Isn’t For You

Why Trading Spaces Isn’t For You

All good things get rebooted, so naturally Trading Spaces will make its way back into our lives in 2018.  Trading Spaces was an upgrade from all the other home renovation shows.  There was an extra element of anticipation as we watched to see if neighbors would rage against their friends based off of hasty home improvements. Trading Spaces is reality show perfection. Because of their delight, viewers might be tempted to apply to trade their own spaces.  This would be a huge mistake. Trading Spaces is most likely a home renovation prank show. Rarely are their designs attractive or practical. Recently, TLC has been asking for participants to apply to swap spaces. Unless you are trying to talk to your neighbors less, we must remind ourselves that nothing good comes out of a Trading Spaces renovation.

Reason #1: Designer Roulette

Participants aren’t guaranteed which designer will be assigned to their home.  If you’re lucky, you’ll get Genevieve, the Trading Spaces version of Blake Lively or Vern Yip, the designer who can’t stop flexing. Each professional is different, but what they all have in common is that they roll right over the homeowners’ suggestions.  Partly because they know better and partly because they don’t care, all of the designers stick to what inspires them.  Genevieve showcased this disposition when she based a whole room around a kimono for a woman who wanted anything but an Asian aesthetic for her home.  She showed that the designer’s vision takes precedence over your preferences.  You can throw your vision board for your home in that newly sponge painted trashcan.

Reason #2: Hay Walls

Never Forget.

I repeat Hay Walls. Hildi is notorious for creating looks that are unconventional. She once used the word “orthogonal.” That alone should be a red flag.  In the most infamous story in Trading Spaces lore, Hildi took liquid adhesive and permanently stuck hay on the walls. HAY ON THE WALLS! That’s pure evil because you definitely can’t paint over old grass.  I haven’t even addressed the issues with allergies. Simply entertaining the idea of adhering hay to the walls should talk anyone out of Trading Spaces.

Reason #3: Intense Personalization

Trading Spaces loves to identify small, unique characteristics in their owners and magnify that quirk throughout the room.  For example, one couple wasn’t able to go on a honeymoon. The lapse in wedding traditions inspired the designers to turn their bedroom into a jungle retreat.  They thatched bamboo to the ceiling, placed zebra pelts on the bed and hung a single bunch of plastic bananas on the wall.   The jungle room was a nightmare, but is intensely personal to these two specific people.

Reason #4: Quick Fixes

Renovators are limited by many factors like time, money and natural talent.   The limitations ensure that designers will have to cut corners somewhere.  Denim slipcovers become viable options. Discounted paint colors are used.  Homeowners are stuck hot gluing pillows together.  The whole situation is made quick fast and in a hurry.  In the best case scenario, you get to see Ty Pennington and his frenetic energy scramble to make your dining room table out of pallet scraps.

For all reality TV watchers there is an urge to participate.  Trading Spaces offers a reality show experience without the assumption of a sexy hot tub scene or a survival challenge.  What could be better than upgrading your home, wearing dorky work shirts and spending time with your friendly neighbors? The answer is, watching someone else ruin their home’s value from your slipcovered couch.  Especially since you don’t have to cover up a hideous paint job afterwards.

IF you still aren’t deterred, here’s the link to the application: https://www.tradingspacescasting.com You have been warned.


Ben Folds Is Good at Music

Ben Folds Is Good at Music

Ben Folds has been a predominant name in music for a long time.  Since the mid-90s Folds has popped up on various Billboard charts and hipster (before being a hipster was cool) music scenes.  I personally became a fan when I first heard his glorious cover of a Dr. Dre whose title I can’t print here. (If you search for this song, NSFW)  While Folds has spent the last 20+ years making wedding guests cry with “The Luckiest” or simply rocking the suburbs, he reached a new level of greatness after the work of genius he pulled off last week.

Over the weekend a video made the rounds online which showed Folds creating a song for an orchestra in ten minutes.  Seriously, he composed a piece for an orchestra on the spot on stage in ten minutes.  It was hypnotic watching him work.  To ensure that no pre-show shenanigans were done the crowd actually created the framework of the piece.  The crowd provided the key, tempo, and subject matter for the piece.  Once that information was obtained Folds was off to the races.  He sets to work with the cellos and then works his way around the different orchestral sections, somehow managing to keep everything straight in his head.  As he composes each piece Folds hears it all in his head, meanwhile I’m sitting there captivated and wondering what it’s going to sound like.  He hears it as he’s doing it and that blows my mind.

The video below is 13 minutes long and it’s absolutely worth the time.  I have watched it several times now and can’t get enough of it.  Now, I’m aware of the fact that I’m a conductor on the hype train right now.  I am aware that this composition is not likely to end up on any classical music anthologies for a Music Appreciation class.  What the piece may lack in grandeur it certainly makes up for in skill.  If you are a fan of Ben Folds, music, or just watching something really cool then check out the video below.

 

 

 


Kentucky Thrones Radio: Season Four Review

Before the KTR crew returns to recap season four, there are pressing matter that must be addressed immediately: there’s a new trailer teasing season seven of Game of Thrones.  They break down the movers and shakers from the two-minute clip to see what potentially lies ahead when the show returns on July 16.  Highlights from the show:

—  Dandarrion is back….with The Hound?!?!?!?!?!

—  Why Jon Snow and Dany will become allies.

—  Two important figures not featured in any teasers; are they dead?

—  Joffrey is dead and Westeros is a better place.

—  Why T.J. can’t watch Oberyn’s head explode again.

—  Stannis saves the day, Ramsey turns Theon into Reek and Arya is on her own.

You can easily listen on the KSR App, available on iTunes and Google Play.  Streaming online is simple through Pod Paradise.  You can also get it directly to your phone by subscribing to “Kentucky Sports Radio” on iTunes or via Android’s Podcast Addict app.


Major ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Spoiler May Have Just Been Revealed

Major ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ Spoiler May Have Just Been Revealed

In less than two weeks, Spider-Man: Homecoming hits theaters, and it will be the third onscreen iteration of the Marvel character in fifteen years.  While Tom Holland’s plucky portrayal of the famed web-slinger certainly made an impression, albeit brief, in Avengers: Civil War, it’s his first solo film.  Yep, all alone this time around—except for Iron Man.  Oh, you noticed him too?  Based on the looks of the trailer, it’s really a Spider-Man/Iron Man 4 film.  Regardless, a lot is riding on Holland, who’s being charged with redefining Spider-Man for an entirely new generation, but he’s not the only one who’s being asked to do some heavy-lifting.  Michael Keaton is no stranger to the superhero genre, his emblematic portrayal of Batman in Tim Burton’s 1989 film is iconic, but this time he’s making his MCU debut portraying The Vulture, a more sinister character, and one of Spider-Man’s oldest enemies.  Although some of the films details about The Vulture have leaked, one fan’s theory suspects Keaton’s character is none other than Mr. Mom.

First introduced in 1963, The Vulture has used many aliases over the years, but the one that most comicbook fans recognize is that of Adrian Toomes.  An elderly engineer, Toomes invented a bird-like harness, which gave him flight and immense strength.  His downfall into a life of crime began after he was betrayed by a business partner and that’s where he first encounters The Amazing Spider-Man in issue #2. The fan theory suggests Keaton will go by the familiar alias Toomes, but actually will reveal himself as Jack Butler later in the film.  To understand this, you need to revisit the 1983 film to see the uncanny parallels between the two archetypal characters.

Both Toomes and Butler are blue collar Americans, engineers by trade.  Like Toomes, Butler was also betrayed, laid off from his job at a Detroit auto plant during the height of the 1980’s recession.  He was forced to switch roles with his wife, and become a stay-at-home dad—which he learned was extremely difficult.  This may also explain why the movie’s called Homecoming.  Each passing day, his mind turned to oatmeal as he watched his wife Caroline become a successful advertising executive—with her reboot of the Schooner Tuna brand—while he continually struggled to find employment.  As she climbed the corporate ladder, he fell into alcoholism and depression.  The theory goes, years later, after a messy divorce, Caroline took sole custody of the kids and Jack moved to New York, finding work again as an engineer—only to be laid off again during The Great Recession around 2010.  Eventually finding work in the scrap metal business—but still struggling to provide financial support for his family.

1) The woobie collar and engine components. 2) The MCU connection: 1982’s “The Incredible Hulk” cartoon playing on the Butler’s TV during breakfast. 3) Scavenging the Chitauri wreckage.

In Homecoming, Toomes/Butler’s crew—possibly the earliest formation of what will be The Sinister Six—are essentially scavengers, charged with cleaning up the city in the months following the 2012 Battle of New York as seen in The Avengers.  They quickly discover that they are in possession of working Chitauri technology, with which they begin tinkering with and experimenting on, using the alien-tech to further expand their burgoning criminal enterprise.  Discontent and seething with vengeance, believing big corporations and industrials have denied him the American Dream, Toomes exclaims in the trailer: “The rich, the powerful, like Stark, they don’t care about us!  The world’s changed boys, time we change too!” Combining the newly acquired cybernetic extraterrestrial technology and weaponry, spare automotive motors and components, as well as the parts from a vintage 1981 Kirby Heritage II vacuum cleaner, Toomes/Butler constructs a mechanized flying wing-suit, complete with glowing green eyes, talons, and a collar made from his youngest son’s well-worn and discarded “woobie” blanket, and begins operating under the guise of The Vulture.

Butler’s/Toomes’ motivation is unmistakable:  family.  He makes that abundantly clear to Spider-Man in the trailer, stating, “You need to understand, I will do anything to protect my family.  I know you know what I’m talking about.”  Flying around the city The Vulture might be initially confused for Falcon, but when his hardware begins causing mass destruction and wreaking havoc upon the city, he’s destined to draw the eye of equally powerful heroic types living in the area.  Vulture meet Spider-Man.  Iron Man? What are you doing here?  When confronted, we see Butler’s tone get increasingly threatening:  “Don’t mess with me.  Because I will kill you and anyone you care about.”  Audiences have to care about the villain, and Keaton’s choice to portray The Vulture as Jack Butler will not only make him a memorable villain in Homecoming, but also a relatable and sympathetic one.  In the end, Butler’s/Vulture’s fate is sealed, however it doesn’t come at the hands of Spider-Man or Iron Man.  Instead, it’s his ex-wife Caroline, who ultimately confronts him in front of his now grown children.  Despite pleading with him, she knows he’s too far gone, and kills him—fulfilling a dream he had many years before.  With his dying breath he whispers, “Aw ****, I loved this suit!”

“Mr. Mom is Dead”

 

Spider-Man:  Homecoming hits theaters July 7th.


Oh, Hello: the play with too much of a lot of things

Oh, Hello: the play with too much of a lot of things

Creators tend to find low-key ways of sneaking indulgences into their projects.  There are some shining moments that seem like they were created just to amuse the creator. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In Netflix’s special, Oh Hello on Broadway, Nick Kroll and John Mulaney go on an amusement rampage.  Under the guise of grizzled geriatrics, the two put on a “br’dway” play that seems to scratch every itch on their funny bone. As a viewer, I enjoyed the theatrics, but there were moments that made me feel used like an audience of stuffed animals surrounding a toddler.  We were just there for Kroll and Mulaney’s indulgences. It makes a girl wonder, is was my delighted juice worth their indulgent squeeze?

Grossest sentence ever typed.

Oh Hello is for a specific type of audience.  Gil and George speak to people who enjoy things that are peculiar and slightly cringe-inducing. Their material includes, but is not limited to:

  • Sick Au Bon Pain burns
  • Referring to fingers as “fingies”
  • Feuding with off-stage Ravi
  • Improvisation for non-listeners
  • Casual references to Clamato
  • And bestiality with raccoons
  • And this….

It’s a smorgasbord of things only Kroll and Mulaney could concoct.  I genuinely believe that they would riff off of each other about “protected settlements” to an audience of none. The play within a play brings me so much joy, except for that nagging feeling that I’ve been tricked.

During the prank talk show, Gil and George pluck Steve Martin out of the crowd for an interview and offer him “Too much tuna!” (It’s better than it sounds.)  For other showings, they got to prank talk to Chris Pratt, Alan Alda, Amy Schumer, Aziz Ansari and more. They were living the too much tuna dream.  It’s possible they were also having too much fun. There comes a point where the guest wish list is just an excuse to hang with other cool dudes and chicks.

Artists create their art, so they are entitled to cast the love interest that is out of their league, or go to exotic locations to film or trot out a long list of celebrities to prank interview. However, there were little tiny cracks that reminded me that George and Gil were not concerned about the audience’s amusement.  The faults include, but are not limited to:

  • The bloated introduction to the play. (Too much exposition!)
  • Gil’s untucked shirt was excessive. (I don’t need multiple examples of a slovenly disposition. The socks and sandals are enough)
  • Disrespecting Matthew Broderick’s time

These tiny cracks are frustrating because I’m envious. I want to create perfectly choreographed and thoughtful jokes that are completely silly and put me at the same table as Steve Martin.

Regardless of these tiny cracks, Kroll and Mulaney are in it for the love for the game. After their “high production value” dance sequence, the two collapse on the stage out of exhaustion. The result is a perfect self-indulgent moment.  The two minute real time break lets the actors regroup, but more important improvise random request of Ravi.  They would prefer to have a Ferrero Rocher and some Kashi good friends.  To recoup, the two need an ultra specific headshots brought to them.  Literally, it’s two dudes laying on the floor cracking jokes.

If I had a specific request, it would be that they wouldn’t stop.

In the end, I’ll watch any of the shenanigans that Kroll and Mulaney cook up.  I will soak up their sauce with my polenta body and bask in their indulgences.

Ok, so that’s the grossest sentence ever written.

Regardless, Oh Hello is for people who can tolerate this peculiar brand of comedy where two dudes spend an hour and half of your time doing whatever they please on screen.


Origins 2017 – Climbing Columbus

Origins 2017 – Climbing Columbus

Well, another Origins Game Fair has come and gone, and I wish that it could happen every month.  Origins is one of the more laid back gaming conventions that you can attend, as the attention seems more so on actually playing games and enjoying time with friends, than being a place where so many titles are released. Origins essentially takes over the 4-5 block area around the Greater Columbus Convention Center, which was already packed due to it being Pride week as well. You can find tons of groups playing games in the open gaming areas, as well as hotel lobbies or during meet-ups at bars and restaurants.

Origins 2017 had a different feel to me than the previous conventions, as the hype machine didn’t seem to really be in full force, with many games not being released until Gen Con or Essen.  I went into the convention not really excited about coming home with many of the games for sale in the convention hall, but I was optimistic that I would find something unique that would pique my interest.  It just so happened that apparently, I was in a climbing sort-of mood this year. So, today on Funkhouser, I’m featuring three climbing themed games that really caught my attention at Origins 2017: The Climbers, Rhino Hero: Super Battle, and Summit.


The Climbers – Capstone Games

One of the best things about Origins Game Fair is that the exhibition hall is much less crowded than that of GenCon, especially on Thursday morning. Walking around with crew from Blue Peg, Pink Peg Gaming Podcast, we made our way over to Capstone Games where the above game was hanging out on the table. The Climbers was originally published back in 2008, but is seeing a reprint in 2017 by Capstone Games as part of their “Simply Complex” line.  It took just a ten second explanation to fall in love with this game.

The goal of The Climbers is to get your colored figure as high on this block tower as you can by the time no one can make any more moves. To move your piece up the tower, you can only move to blocks that have your color as the top part of the block. On your turn, you can take any unobstructed block from the tower, turn it in any direction you like, and place it anywhere on the tower where the base of your block sits flat (no hanging off the edge). Your figure can step up to a higher level if the step is shorter than the height of your pawn. However, each player is given a tall and short ladder, which can be used to make larger jumps.  The tall ladder helps you move up two full block heights, while the short ladder helps you move up one full block. The problem is, once you use the ladder, it’s gone for the rest of the game. You also get one piece that you can place on the tower that can block anyone from moving there, but once you use it, it’s gone.

This game is so simple to learn and teach, and will be a great game for kids and adults. It has such a great table presence, as the bright colors and “Little People”-esque figures just seem so inviting. Note: the above picture is not a final published copy, and will look a little different when it is released. Capstone will have a very limited quantity at Gen Con 2017, and hopefully we’ll be able to get our hands on it there!


Rhino Hero: Super Battle – HABA USA

One of the very first booths we made our way to Thursday was HABA USA.  HABA is known primarily for their wonderful kids games, which are designed so well that adults tend to find enjoyment in them as well.  So it was no surprise when we found ourselves squaring off in HABA’s new hit, Rhino Hero: Super Battle.

RH:SB, much like its predecessor, Rhino Hero, is a game about building an apartment structure one floor at a time.  Each player gets three tiles in their hand, which are the floors to the apartment building. When you play a tile, it will show you what walls need to be underneath it (Two Tall, Two Short, One Tall & One Short). The game has three ground tiles to start, with marks of where you are allowed to play your first floor walls, but once you start building the tower, you just have to make sure you can build upon the levels that currently exist. Once you build your floor, you get to roll a die to move your super hero character up that many levels on the tower (the die rolls from 0-2, if I’m not mistaken). If at any point, two opposing heroes are on the same floor of the same building, you must have a roll off to see who gets to stay on that level. Some floors also make you put an Evil Spider Monkey on that floor, which are reminiscent of the “Barrel of Monkeys” monkeys, and you must hang a spider monkey off the side of that particular tile, adding to the possibility that the tower gets knocked over.  Whoever’s hero is highest on the building when it inevitably collapses, or someone’s unsteady hand knocks it over, is the winner.

It definitely seems that HABA knows that adults love Rhino Hero, so they made a game that was a little more complex, but not so much that kids wouldn’t enjoy this too.


Summit – Inside Up Games

The third of our climbing game trio is certainly the most intense of the three games, but it came out of Origins with a lot buzz. Today, just two days after the end of Origins 2017, Summit sits fourth in the Board Game Geek ‘GeekBuzz’ list, behind convention (colon-laden) hits: Codenames: Duet, Century: Spice Road, and Bärenpark (horizontal colon). Summit is the first published game by Canadian designer Conor McGoey, who looks to have a hit on his hands when the game has its release at Gen Con 2017.  The game has Competitive, Cooperative and Solo modes, all brutal in their challenge, but still an accessible game all around.

In a competitive game of Summit, players are on a race to get to the peak of the mountain and return to base camp. While it is a race, it’s a race for points, which means there are multiple factors involved. If you are the first to reach any of the given checkpoints, you will get more points than your competitors, but that’s not the only way you get points. Karma plays a major factor in the game, so much so that there is a Karma track on the side of the board. As you racing up the same mountain with your competitors, you may play Karma cards that will either help or hinder your opponents. By helping them in certain ways, you move up on the Karma track, which will help you get end game points, but you can also be oh so brutal to your opponents, which will move you down the Karma track. Your karma level at the end of the game results in certain end-game points. But, hey, it’s a race, and there’s a good chance not everyone will survive.

Each player is a different character with asymmetric player powers, and a pretty rad character board. On the character board, you keep track of your stats such as: Food, Oxygen, Weight, Health and Speed. At the beginning of the game, and at halfway camps, you get to choose how much food and oxygen you want to carry. The more equipment you carry, the weight stat increases. The higher the weight, the slower you move. Your movement refers to the number of spaces you can move in your turn. As you explore the mountain, you lay down triangular tiles, which have paths on them denoted by ropes. Each knot on the rope is a movement point, so if your speed is five, you move five knots. But, some tiles are icy (more knots which slow you down) and others are low oxygen (use up oxygen upon entry). Also if an opponent is blocking your path, you have to ask them for permission. If they let you around, you can move on through, but if they say no, you have to carve out a new path (they also lose two Karma).

There’s a lot going on in Summit, and we haven’t even gotten to Co-Op, solo, the 190+ unique cards, items, events, Yeti expansion… So we’ll save that for our look at the game, once we get our hands on it in the coming months.


Were you at Origins 2017? What did you see that excited you? Let us know at @funkhouserksr


Kentucky Thrones Radio: Season 3 Review

The Game of Thrones review on KTR has made it to the most controversial and shocking moment in the show’s history.  Nick Roush and T.J. Walker share their initial reactions to the Red Wedding, where the Starks went wrong and the fallout from Tywin Lannister’s sadistic scheme.  Other highlights include…

—  Malisandre’s meeting with Arya and a premonition that could soon come to fruition.

—  The show’s first resurrection from the Lord of Light.

—  Will we ever see Gendry Baratheon again?

—  Two minutes too long of talk about Samwell Tarley.

—  Rickon, Bran and Jon Snow are almost reunited in the North.

—  Why Jaime Lannister became the Kingslayer.

You can easily listen on the KSR App, available on iTunes and Google Play.  Streaming online is simple through Pod Paradise.  You can also get it directly to your phone by subscribing to “Kentucky Sports Radio” on iTunes or via Android’s Podcast Addict app.


Movie Posters Explained By Kids:  Summer 2017 Edition

Movie Posters Explained By Kids: Summer 2017 Edition

In this Funkhouser series, I conduct spontaneous interviews with my daughters, “A” age 11 and “E” age 8, where they are shown an image of a theatrical movie poster and asked to share their insight in an attempt to decipher the forthcoming feature film’s plot.


Baby Driver (June 28th)


A:  This kid who really wants to drive, so he steals a car from like some bad guy types with tattoos, guns, and stuff, and he’s trying to get away from them during the whole movie.  Probably really loud.
E:  He’s really immature and that’s why even though he’s a teenager, they still call him baby.  He thinks he’s a good driver, but he’s actually not.

Austin Found (July 7th)


A:  A mom who loves her daughter named Austin so much, and she spoils her a lot and does everything to make her rich and popular, but she’s a brat and runs away or maybe she’s kidnapped—but she doesn’t die.

War for the Planet of the Apes (July 14th)


E:  Apes and more apes.  How many apes is too many apes?  There’s just way too many apes, and they’re making a mess of the planet.
A:  People hate the apes cause they’re different, and they’re messing with everybody’s stuff.  Even some of the apes are getting on the other apes’ nerves, and it’s finally come to this.

Girls Trip (July 21st)


A:  This looks inappropriate.
E:  Looks like they saw something that they’ve never seen before.

Atomic Blond (July 28th)


E:  A girl who’s really cool but dangerous, and not as good as Wonder Woman.
A:  About a blond lady who’s having problems, and she decides to kill some of them.

Brigsby Bear (July 28th Limited)


A:  Guy who’s really creepy and his best friend is this bear, or really obsessed with it, but it’s really him the whole time.
E:  About this nerd who wears this scratchy and gross Five Nights at Freddy’s costume, and he’s all lonely, but the bear suit is all he has—and it’s killing him from the inside.

Strange Weather (July 28th)


E:  Old lady emotions.
A:  Well isn’t this strange weather we’re having?  Based on that saying.

The Dark Tower (August 4th)


E:  Something like Dr. Strange.
A:  These people are out to change the world for the better, but it’s not working out too well.

Detroit (August 4th)


E:  What does Detroit mean?
A:  It’s a place.
E:  Nevermind.
A:  I heard it was pretty rough there, and they’re showing how it got that way.

The Glass Castle (August 11th)


A:  She’s in trouble and has her home taken away, so she has to move somewhere with a new family and her new step sisters, and these are her bad memories.

Good Time (August 11th)


E:  A cool party guy is having too good of a time, and he drinks all this beer and wakes up shrunk inside a bottle, trapped forever.  This is why you shouldn’t drink so much.

Polaroid (August 25th)


A:  There’s this antique polaroid camera in a shop that’s a no-touch item, but someone steals it from the collector.  They try it out to see if it works, when they take a picture it takes them into another world, and it’s terrible and scary and they’re trapped forever in the photo.  Goosebumps did it first!


Media Weekend Forecast

Media Weekend Forecast

Welcome back to the Media Weekend Forecast! I’m your Mediaologist Brad Morris. The past couple of weeks has been spent under the sweet summer sun with the rug rats, but playtime is almost over. It’s time to get back into the swing of things. So let us look upon what to watch this weekend.

Netflix: 13 Going On 30

Why To Watch: It is hard to believe this rom-com is 13 years old itself this year. Following a similar formula to Big, Jenna Rink wakes up one morning going from, you guessed it, 13 to 30. Much like Tom Hanks Josh, Jennifer Garner’s Jenna has a sweet innocence to her that makes for awkward encounters and retro music choices. Because unlike Big, the time that Jenna has aged has actually passed. This movies plot is simple, but for some reason has assumed somewhat of a cult following. While I’m not a huge watcher of rom-com’s, 13 Going On 30 is one that can be watched over and over again.

Hulu: Ace Ventura-Pet Detective 

Why To Watch: Jim Carrey took his TV success and parlayed it into his first leading role as Ace Ventura. The completely over the top sleuth is tasked with finding the missing Miami Dolphins mascot Snowflake just before the Dolphins play in the Super Bowl (I know, total fantasy). Ace Ventura walks a fine line of over the top zaniness from Carrey, and famous one-liners. I still catch people making an off handed comment that can be traced back to Ace. So enjoy this laugher again.

AMC: Turn-Washingtons Spies

Why To Watch: The final season of the semi-historical series has arrived. Following the network of spies that helped General Washington in the early days of the Revolutionary War, Turn has had its ups and downs. What fascinated me about the series was having context to Benedict Arnolds treason and the politics of that time and era. Jamie Bell has been in several movies over the years, however his best work has been that as Abraham Woodhull. It’ll be interesting to see where the series ends and what time period of the war we are left off on.

Movies: Cars 3

Why To Watch: Ah the dreaded third movie of a trilogy. So many have fallen short over the years, from Godfather Part 3 to the Matrix Revolutions. However, this story seems to be solid from the promos. Lightenen’ McQueen is in the twilight of his career and wants to capture that one last victory for himself to prove he is worthy. The villain is a mirror to McQueen from his early days. Jackson Storm is the newest car on the track and appears to be superior in every way. It will take Lightenin’ and his friends to find what truly motivates him to the final checkered flag.

Sports: U.S. Open

Why To Watch: If there is any indication this could be a hot weekend on the golf course, one only has to look at the blimp that crashed and caught fire on Thursday. Rickie Fowler started off the tournament with a -7 under 65 and is in position to get rid of the label “best player to not have won a major”. Fan favorite Bubba Watson and Kentucky’s own J.B Holmes will try to bring home the crown. It’s also noteworthy of Phil Mickelson withdrawing from the tournament to attend his oldest daughter’s high school graduation.

 

That’s it for this week’s edition of the Media Weekend Forecast. Yours truly has another day at the beach and a few brews to get to before reality sets back in next week. Until then, I’ll have my toes in the water, butt in the sand. Here’s to hoping you will too this summer.


The Entertation Index: June 12-16

The Entertation Index: June 12-16

Each week KSR’s Funkhouser collects the best of pop culture. The Entertation Index collects the best of the week for your consumption.

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Amazon — This morning the tech giant announced its plans to buy grocery juggernaut Whole Foods for a whopping $13.7 million. The deal should be solidified by next week, but if they buy it in the next 24 hours they can get it by Sunday, June 18.
Link: Amazon is Buying Whole Foods for 13.7 Billion

Doo, Scooby — Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn told Facebook this week that his 2008 live-action Scooby Doo movie was originally meant to be an R-rated film better suited for adults than kids. The most obvious difference? That we all stop pretending we don’t know what Scooby Snacks are. WE ALL KNOW WHAT SCOOBY SNACKS WERE.
Link: James Gunn Reveals the R-Rated Scooby Doo We Didn’t Get

Dylan, Bob — It’s no secret that troubadour Bob Dylan has been widely suspected of plagiarizing other artists for years, but the weirdest proof of this may have just come in the form of Dylan’s recent Nobel lecture, where he may have lifted up to 21 instances of copy from the SparkNotes text summarizing Moby Dick. The most telltale sign, however, is the part where he told the audience about that time he got a rope tangled around his neck and a whale dragged him down into the ocean.
Link: Accusations about Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize Lecture Rekindle and Old Debate

Jay-Z –During Jay-Z’s induction into the Songwriter Hall of Fame this Week, regular-guy-sitting-back-and-having-a-beer-these-days-not-worried-about-anything Barack Obama delivered a pre-taped speech on how the rapper influenced him. Although I’m a little surprised that Obama admits to having told then-president of France Nicolas Sarkozy in 2011 that he’s not a businessman but rather a business, man.
Link: Barack Obama Helps Induct Jay Z Into Songwriters Hall of Fame

Johannson, Scarlett — The Avengers star, after her last hosting appearance on Saturday Night Live, has been seen since all over New York City on dates with the show’s Weekend Update anchor Colin Jost. So good news, guys! You don’t even have to be that funny to have a shot with Scarlett Johansson! You only have to be a little funny. At best!
Link: Scarlett Johannson and Colin Jost Enjoy a Cozy Night Out in New York

Jost, Colin — See: Johansson, Scarlett

Show, Mr. — Okay, so this isn’t news, but it’s preoccupied me for so long I thought I’d share it with you guys: Splitsider’s take on the 24 best Mr. Show sketches. It may look dated in 2017, but I assure you there’s enough comedy here to get you through your Friday. And if you missed the Mr. Show era and always wondered what the fuss was about, here’s a great primer.  R.I.P. Mr. Show.  #neverforget
Link: The 24 Best Mr. Show Sketches, In Order 

Yachty, Lil’ — What began as a potential reach for the Tonight Show turned into something really cool this week when rapper Lil’ Yachty joined Fallon and the roots to rap about 59 Simpsons characters. Sure, it starts out with the basics; but by the time you get to deep cuts like Mr. McGreg, Artie Ziff and the original Fallout Boy, you can’t tell me it’s not pretty impressive.