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The New Circle Circular

Matt Bevin Cites Russ Smith’s Open Letter As Another Piece Of Bad Writing By The Courier-Journal

Matt Bevin Cites Russ Smith’s Open Letter As Another Piece Of Bad Writing By The Courier-Journal

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

The ongoing saga of the Governor of Kentucky versus the Courier-Journal continues this week; Matt Bevin used the latest installment of his facebook live web series bashing the Courier-Journal to critique an article penned by none other than former UofL basketball player and john, Russ Smith. Bevin pointed to the open letter as another example of poorly edited writing filled with factual errors.

The letter seems to acknowledge that there was some wrong doing between Katina Powell and Andre McGee but then also suggests that there was no wrong doing and no one should get in trouble. Smith writes “This paints a terrible image of the university and most important my coach, who, for a fact, if he had found out what was at hand or that woman’s business, would have had charges brought upon her, and the people involved would have lost jobs immediately.” This is somewhat ironic since the facts of ‘that woman’s business’ have come out and no one has lost their jobs.

The governor went on to point out other inconsistencies in Smith’s letter printed by the Courier-Journal,  “He writes and I quote, ‘We have had plenty of talented kids visit our school, but our coach gives us the decision to choose our teammates.'” After reading the paragraph aloud the governor asked rhetorically, “if Russ Smith was involved with recruiting why didn’t he offer more 5-star recruits? Think of how good they could’ve been.”

For as much as the governor dislikes the Courier-Journal, he openly admits to reading quite a bit of it, “This paper is simply garbage printed on top of garbage, just yesterday I read the entire classified section, and there wasn’t one example of all the jobs I’ve created. And now they’re apparently hiring writers that start sentences with ‘and’ and ‘but’, ridiculous, just ridiculous.”

Smith ended his letter saying, “That’s where I stand. I hope the NCAA reads this and this sheds a brighter light on whatever you may have.” The governor responded by saying, “I speak for all of us when I say, I hope the bright light you shine on this is not a black light, because I don’t want to know what kind of stains you would find.”

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Joseph Beth Booksellers To Release New Children’s Book Series “Where’d Eric Go?”

Joseph Beth Booksellers To Release New Children’s Book Series “Where’d Eric Go?”

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Joseph Beth Booksellers are doing their part to help the FBI find attorney at large Eric C Conn with this new children’s book series Where’d Eric Go?

In this new series of books, law enforcement has illustrated Eric traveling to extraordinary places that he may or may not be hiding. They’ve enlisted the help of the young and the young at heart to help find the man on the run, as he sends postcards, emails, and faxes to the reader as well as random media outlets. So while the FBI search for Eric in real life, the readers will locate Eric on each page. Where’d Eric Go? is the hottest new children’s book series, available at Joseph Beth Booksellers, pediatrician’s offices, and the walls of post offices everywhere.

(Click the image to see the full version)

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


UK Baseball Managers Using Sharpies To Change Team’s Bat Brand To Lexington Slugger

UK Baseball Managers Using Sharpies To Change Team’s Bat Brand To Lexington Slugger

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

The University of Kentucky’s baseball team finished celebrating last night’s win sometime early this morning, but by the afternoon they’d already moved their focus to preparing for the school’s first ever College Baseball Super Regional. As Coach Mingione began evaluating the University of Louisville’s baseball team, looking for ways to squeeze out runs, the managerial staff began their own preparations for the weekend. Armed with only a few sharpies, UK Baseball managers spent today crossing out ‘Louisville’ and changing the brand name on UK’s bats to ‘Lexington Slugger.’

“Everyone around here is pretty hyped up, and we all want to contribute anyway we can,” manager Charles Ball said. “There’s only so much you can do to motivate the team via laundry. We decided we could help motivate the team by altering the equipment to remove the word ‘Louisville,’ so that’s exactly what we did. Once the game itself starts we will have more to worry about, like that one of the player’s rally cap of cups might touch the ceiling.”

An assistant coach for the UK baseball program told us that winning this weekend would not be easy, but he balked at the idea of the team just conceeding defeat. “They’re good, we’re going to have to find some new ways to get runs. If there’s one thing that’s obvious, it’s that a team with that many players with bleached blonde hair knows how to handle rolling bunts.”

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Joe B. Hall Eliminated In Second Round Of American Ninja Warrior Tryout

Joe B. Hall Eliminated In Second Round Of American Ninja Warrior Tryout

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

While season 9 of American Ninja Warrior is just around the corner, many had their first glimpse of the new challenging course last Thursday Night when a special Celebrity Ninja Warrior episode aired. While many of us American Ninja Warrior-heads are excited about the new season and its new challenges, some fans back here in Kentucky, specifically fans who are also members of the UK Basketball family, were left wondering “Where the heck was Coach Joe B. Hall?”

At this point it’s no secret, former Coach Joe B. Hall has spent the last two years training for his chance to climb Mount Midoriyama, and be crowned American Ninja Warrior, or whatever they call someone that wins that show… champion maybe?

“There’s few things I love more on this earth than a good salmon ladder,” said Coach Hall about what we’re hoping is an obstacle on the course this year, and not just something he ate the last time he was at Red Lobster.

We traveled with Coach Hall back on April 7th to witness his tryout this year, after finding stories of his 2015 tryout both impressive and, a little bit unbelievable. Although this year, there was no denying that Coach Joe B. Hall was born to be a Ninja. In fact, we were able to witness Joe B. become the real star of the night first hand, as he became the first former NCAA Basketball Head Coach to complete any stage of American Ninja Warrior.

Many on site agreed the Coach ran through the first round in style, as he showed off his recent gymnastic training, while sporting a classic sweater vest. Coach was able to slam the buzzer with just over ten seconds left on the clock, placing him seventh after the first round of the Daytona Beach regional. However, while the ageless wonder that is Coach Hall made waves, he ended up doing so figuratively and literally when he fell in the water during a particularly trying second round of the regional tryout.

“Maybe they’re saving my performance for the regular show? The celebrity episode is just so people at home can watch famous people fall down, like tyrannosaurus rex costume guy and Rob Schneider,” explained Hall as he stared at the screen through a single tear, as the credits of the premier rolled on, “yeah they’re saving the old Coach for the real show, that’s it.”

Be sure to tune in for the premier of this season’s American Ninja Warrior on June 12th, on LEX18 right after Hey Kentucky.

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Predators Fans Remember Dark Days When Team Was Hunted By Arnold Schwarzenegger

Predators Fans Remember Dark Days When Team Was Hunted By Arnold Schwarzenegger

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

In a geography lesson to us all, the Nashville Predators were able to win the NHL Western Conference finals. The Predators topped a Gordon Bombay-less Anaheim Ducks team on their way to the Stanley Cup Finals. After the win, NHL Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly awarded the Campbell Bowl to the Predators, which inexplicably contained no soup.

As the team prepares for their first appearance in the Stanley Cup Finals and many new fans jump on the Nashville bandwagon many long-term fans are taking time to reflect on how far the team has come. The long-time Nashville Predators fan, Steve DaCanadian, remembers back before any sort of success, when the team was going through their toughest time, being hunted by future governors Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura.

“They used to come out to the games, by helicopter, just covered in mud. They thought it would keep ‘the preds’ from being able to see them or something,” DaCanadian told us. “It was just a weird time. As a fan, I can tell you I’m glad they started playing the games at Bridgestone Arena instead of that jungle.”

Many new fans have really gotten behind the team and are looking forward to the finals. One fan showed his excitement about the team but warned other new fans not to get too far ahead of themselves, “This series will be the toughest matchup for the predators since they took on the aliens back in 04 and 07.”

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


The New Circle Circular Explores Industrial Hemp on Hey Kentucky!

The New Circle Circular Explores Industrial Hemp on Hey Kentucky!

Hemp is not the same thing as marijuana, but you still need the government’s permission to grow it.  The New Circle Circular explains this conundrum by giving it the School House Rock treatment.  They also talked to Kentucky Agricultural Commissioner Ryan Quarles about hemp’s many uses, how it can help Kentucky farmers and much more.

Watch today’s entire episode after the jump.

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Colin Cowherd Reminds Fans Wizards Would’ve Won If John Wall Didn’t Do The Dougie 6 Years Ago

Colin Cowherd Reminds Fans Wizards Would’ve Won If John Wall Didn’t Do The Dougie 6 Years Ago

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Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

A giddy and gleeful Colin Cowherd took to the airwaves on whatever obscure Fox Sports radio station he is on now to bask in the glory of John Wall’s disappointing Game 7 performance on Monday night. Cowherd opened his show and then repeated for three hours (as is the format of his show) his belief that the Washington Wizards would’ve won last night’s series deciding game if John Wall hadn’t danced during player introductions of a regular season opener over six years ago.

Cowherd, whose name is difficult to type even for this author, finished packing fifteen minutes of content into his three hour radio show, then it was time to take to television and debate a man who inexplicably wears a fedora in 2017. Cowherd, armed with his fifteen minutes of hot John Wall takes he’d sharpened over the last three hours, explained in detail how the Wizards would’ve been preparing for Game 1 against the Cleveland Cavaliers had John Wall not done The Dougie as a rookie and if he’d chosen to have had a father growing up.

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Calipari Inspired Us To Download Timeset And Here Are The BucketLists We Found Of Famous Kentuckians

Calipari Inspired Us To Download Timeset And Here Are The BucketLists We Found Of Famous Kentuckians

bucketlist

 

John Calipari partnered with the app Timeset, an app that allows users to create ‘BucketLists’ of things they hope to accomplish. Calipari lured users into downloading the app today by using it to announce an opponent for the upcoming season. After we downloaded it though, we found some interesting bucketlists from other famous Kentuckians.

Rick Pitino

pitino

  • Keep trying everything at least once
  • Improve physical endurance
  • Understand love

Joe B. Hall

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  • Have a hearing loss
  • Eat more gravy
  • Paint a mural

Ryan Lemond

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  • Eat at Rodney’s
  • Write Top Gun 2
  • Sing with Darius Rucker (but with him knowing it’s happening this time)

The New Circle Circular Takes a Closer Look at Gambling in Kentucky

The New Circle Circular Takes a Closer Look at Gambling in Kentucky

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This week across the Commonwealth people are sharing their bets for Saturday’s big race, yet Kentucky is one of only ten states that outlaws casino gambling.  What’s the deal?  The New Circle Circular explains the difference between games of skill and chance on Hey Kentucky!

Watch today’s entire episode of Hey Kentucky! with Perrin Johnson after the jump.

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This Year’s Great Steamboat Race In Louisville To Include Ricky “The Dragon”

This Year’s Great Steamboat Race In Louisville To Include Ricky “The Dragon”

steamboat

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Tomorrow night at 6pm, The Kentucky Derby Festival’s Great Steamboat Race, better known as the slowest two hours in sports, will celebrate it’s 54th year of racing one steamboat against some other kind of boat that is not run by steam in the beautiful Ohio River. Two Belles, one of Louisville and one of Cincinnati, have slowly battled it out together in the Ohio River for the last 8 years, but this year they’ll find a new competitor in their midst, former Professional wrestler Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat.

The Great Steamboat Race has added new rules and regulations throughout the past years to make the race more entertaining and fair, since boats stopped using steam power like a hundred million years ago. This year they’ve added flair into the mix (not Rick Flair though I understand how that might have been confusing) by adding the highest flying Steamboat of all time.

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, while considered a newcomer to this type of competition is looking forward to the 7 mile per hour challenge. He explained that while he has never won a Steamboat Race of this magnitude, he has raced against others in the Steamboat family, and was once intercontinental champion, so this shouldn’t be a problem. “I took out Macho Man Randy Savage back in Wrestlemania III, and the two steamboats that were running the race back then still haven’t crossed the finish line, so I’d say I’m the favorite tomorrow night, even though I’m not a very strong swimmer.”

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


“41-38” Beats Out “La La Land” For Best Score At This Years’ CATSPY Awards

“41-38” Beats Out “La La Land” For Best Score At This Years’ CATSPY Awards

best-score

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Lexington’s biggest and only awards show featured a bevy of athletic stars on the blue carpet as the 15th annual CATSPYs took place last night in the the palatial Memorial Coliseum. Many of the University of Kentucky’s most beautiful athletes and Mark Stoops were in attendance for the awards ceremony. Student-athletes celebrated the night of glamour by wearing their finest apparel. As they entered, honorees were met by Blue Carpet Interviewer Jerry Tipton who asked each student-athlete “Who are you wearing?” quickly followed by “And who paid for it?” While the University crowned one winner for most of the award categories and at least 4 different winners for “Coach of the Year,” one particular award stood out above them all, “Best Score”.

“After sweeping the Oscars, the SAGs, and the Golden Globes, I thought we were a shoe in for the CATSBYs,” explained losing film composer Justin Hurwitz. “Even after we lost, I thought maybe after they announced the third different coach of the year, they’d come back to our category and maybe also give us a CATSPY for best score?”

However hopeful the decorated film composer was, the University proudly granted only one award for best score this year, and it went to “41-38” the final score to the greatest football game ever played.

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Rick Pitino Rewatches Cal’s 30 For 30 For The 8th Time, Looking For An Exploitable Weakness

Rick Pitino Rewatches Cal’s 30 For 30 For The 8th Time, Looking For An Exploitable Weakness

pitino-30

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Sources from inside the UofL basketball program have revealed that Cardinal coach Rick Pitino has spent the past week inside his office, breaking down the film from ESPN’s most recent 30 for 30 film ‘One And Not Done.’ Watching film has always been an important part of Pitino’s routine, so it should be no surprise that he has spent so much time recently searching the tape for any sign of weakness he can exploit in his constant rivalry with the Kentucky coach.

“For Rick, 30 for 30 has always been more of a negotiating point, $30 for :30 is where he likes to start his… um… deliberations,” on staffer told us. “But he has really taken this seriously, he has scoured that thing for any and all ideas about how to start beating Calipari consistently.”

After his seventh viewing, Pitino reportedly called his staff together to announce “I think if we can just get him back to UMASS we can really start to compete.” The staff then brainstormed some ways that they could make that happen, the ideas included finding new ways to screw taxpayers and asking for money at gas pumps but nothing substantial came of the meetings.

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Daryl Isaacs Considers Adding Additional Phone Line For Future United Passengers

Daryl Isaacs Considers Adding Additional Phone Line For Future United Passengers

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Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

While automobile crashes and work related mishaps are what personal injury lawyers typically oversee, many attorneys in Kentucky and across the country are now preparing to deal with an influx of calls pertaining to abuses suffered on United Airlines. One of those attorneys is Kentucky’s own ‘The Hammer’ Daryl Isaacs, who is considering an additional phone line to handle calls from future United passengers.

Potential litigants calling the Hammer would be greeted with an updated menu that would read the following: “If you’ve been injured in an accident, press 1. If you or a loved one has ever taken a pill you saw advertised on TV you might be entitled to compensation, press 2. If you’ve recently flown United Airlines, press 3. If this is John Morgan pranking me again, I’ve had just about enough of it, buddy.”

“A lot less people have been calling about mesothelioma lately,” a spokesman told us. “Car accidents are always going to be there, and until Elon Musk invents a way to stop them,  they’ll be our main focus. But we think it’s a good time to pivot into this new revenue stream. We’ve got to strike while the iron and United’s Twitter mentions are hot.”

Not everyone sees the issue with United’s treatment of its passengers, including a certain basketball coach from Louisville.

“So they get a little rough now and then. I don’t think that’s a very big deal. I’m into that sort of thing. Makes joining the Mile High club all the more special,” said the coach.

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


UK eSports Team Announces They Are Leaving School Early To Play NBA2K17

UK eSports Team Announces They Are Leaving School Early To Play NBA2K17

esports

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Lost in the shuffle of Malik Monk and De’Aaron Fox declaring for the NBA draft was news that eSports Coach Mario Madden will face the lofty task of replacing his entire team after all of his players declared they would be leaving college early to play NBA2K17.

Recruiting should be easier now that construction has been completed on the new practice facility in the Mine Craft Center. While not the spectacle of basketball or football recruiting, eSports recruiting presents it’s own unique challenges. The NCAA is keeping a closer eye on eSports recruiting recently after news that a University of Louisville eSports recruit shook up and opened a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red which caused the bottle to squirt to the ceiling.

Now that the players have declared they are leaving, fans will be able to meet their heros during their summer basement storming tour.

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.


Lexington Tattoo Artists Sad To See Derek Willis Go

Lexington Tattoo Artists Sad To See Derek Willis Go

tattoo

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Lexington Tattoo artists are finally being forced to dread a day they’ve known was coming for four years now. Derek Willis is graduating and with him goes one of the largest body art canvases the city has seen in years.

“Look I’m not too worried about the money, we survived when Willie Cauley Stein left, there will always be enough drunk college freshman to keep us in business,” Bleed Blue Tattoo artist Karl Anthony Towns Vaughn Dee said. “What I’m worried about is, there’s not too many people out there that can pull off a huge Native American skull on their arm. I can’t put a crying skull on most people, they just can’t pull it off like Derek could man.”

While the tattoo artists will miss Derek, there is still hope for them. “Look, I love Derek and no one can replace him. I loved seeing him walk in because I knew I was going to get a break from all of these butterflies and barbed wire tattoos but I feel good about the future. No one can fill Derek’s shoes, but there is a replacement out there. I don’t want to say his name because he’s a college kid you know, but his place as Derek’s replacement will be earned not given.”

To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.