Tonight, Kentucky will take on Southern Illinois, coached by Barry Hinson. I’ll admit that I knew nothing about Barry Hinson when I woke up this morning, but after watching a video of him ranting about his team after a loss to Murray State in 2013, I am now his biggest fan.
Hinson unleashed on his squad after the 73-65 loss to the Racers in what may be the greatest postgame press conference of all time. Here are my five favorite quotes:
On his team being outrebounded: “I’ve been telling my wife for years, size doesn’t matter.”
On his guards: “Our guards are awful. Our three starting guards had one assist and seven turnovers. They must think it’s a tax credit. It’s unbelievable how our starting guards played.”
On his big guys: “How can you go 2-11?! My wife, MY WIFE, can score more than two buckets on 11 shots because I know my wife will at least shot fake one time.”
On his players’ bad defense: “There was a sniper in the gym. Didn’t you see that? We had guys falling down. We had a guy snipered at half-court. Two guys snipered at half-court. It was unbelievable. I would’ve thought Navy Seal Team 6 was out there.”
On the number of turnovers his team committed: “I swear, I thought one time that one of our players said Merry Christmas. I thought it was a gift. I thought they signed the package.”
He also compares his players to puppies who need potty training. It’s amazing.
Another reason I want Kentucky to crush the Salukis is so we can get a repeat performance of this in the Rupp Arena media room tonight.