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September 27, 2006

No More TO!!!!

by @ 10:44 pm. Filed under Blue Blooded Opinions

See that picture above. That is what I feel like when I see TO on my television. I thought I had absolutely, completely had it with TO and could not become more annoyed by his sight. And then today came. Let me just say first, I am glad TO is alive. We all need some TO on this Earth, because…..well, I am sure someone can think of a good reason. But he is the most overtalked about athlete that I can think of in a long time. Going into this season, I saw more video of TO on a training bicycle than appearances by “The Miz” on reality shows. And after every one, we were treated to speculation about “whether TO would be a distraction” to his new team.

Well guess what. If there was a question about potential distractions, today answered that. Likely few thought that TO could screw things up more than he did with Donovan McNabb……but TO showed to never underestimate him. Just when you thought you knew all about TO, he came with the sneak “potential/fake suicide” routine. I admit to not seeing that one coming. But the only thing worse than seeing TO and his “publicist” (who apparently is terrible at her job) on television is seeing the pop psychologists like Michael Irvin, Mike Golic and Dan Lebatard channeling their inner DR. Phil to “diagnose” TO’s problems. Look guys spare me. TO is an athlete who craves attention and thus coincidently also has low self esteen. What a shocker.

Luckily however the “mystery” as to what happened means this will stay in the news for weeks. We will be treated to “sources” in the police department, tell-alls on Dateline NBC and Bill Parcells’ head spontaneously exploding. All of which will make TO’s image soften and his media status soar. Just what we need….

8 Responses to “No More TO!!!!”

  1. Intern Says:

    Is that Rosie O’Donell? If it is, that’s definitely the first time she’s been penetrated by a stick…anyone? anyone?

  2. Mike Jones Says:

    Matt, give the intern a raise. I saw Rosie at a basketball game in
    Miami one time before she officially “came out”. Can anyone guess who
    the game was between? Good guess, it WAS
    the Miami Sol v. Orlando Miracle in a tightly contested WNBA matchup.
    Rosie had front row, center court season tickets.(Yes I was at a WNBA
    game)

  3. Wes Deskins Says:

    If anyone would understand the effects of taking too many drugs, it’s Michael Irvin. His fashion sense still hasn’t recovered from the 1990s. Dude wears suits that Don “The Magic” Juan would consider tacky.

  4. T. Walters Says:

    T.O. makes you feel like an injured Asian woman?

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