Kentucky Sports Radio
[Moderated by Matt Jones]
[Moderated by Matt Jones]
If you are a high school football player, who happens to be Muslim, who likes the gadget play, and has a respectable .40 time, then resist temptation and don’t take any calls from Hal Mumme. The New Mexico St. University HC and former UK skipper, who proficiently guided the team to a 0-12 mark last season, is being sued by the ACLU on behalf of three former players claiming they were wrongfully excused from the team last fall. The three players—Mu’Ammar Ali, and brothers Anthony and Vincent Thompson(sounds like Muslim tourists to me)—allege that Mumme booted them from the squad because of their Islamic faith. Furthermore, Ali claims that Mumme would have the team recite the Lord’s Prayer before each game (loss), and would frequently question him about the goings ons of Al-Qaida. Now that’s a conversation for the imagination:
Mumme: “Did you talk to Al yet today?”
Ali: “Al, Who’s Al?”
Mumme: “Al-Qaida! Oh, that one never gets old. Now get out of my office before I really blow up on you…or vice versa! Shoot, I’m on a roll today.”
So Hal is kind of in a tight spot here. It’s 2006; sensitivity is at an all time high, and Islamic extremists are the new Commies (= hot button). Unless you enjoy walking on eggshells, it’s best to stay down the middle Hal. From where I sit, I think he has two options, and neither is a fake punt: The first is a natural instinct for any male and was cleverly reiterated by hit artist Shaggy– just say “it wasn’t me.” But Hal, they caught you on the counter. “It wasn’t me.” They even caught you on camera. “It wasn’t me.”…and so on and so forth.
Number two is a little more conniving, but then again, so are thousand dollar checks to Melrose High School: Tell everyone they sucked. Gary Barnett tried it a couple years back at Colorado when he was accused of sexual discrimination after he cut a female kicker, and voi la, he kept his job. But Ali was good. He was the team’s leading rusher in 2004, and could hit the hole with the fervor of the Rashiduns during the great Hijra. So toss that one out.
Instead, Mumme chose option three, which is frequently tried but hardly to beneficial results: Label them “troublemakers” (See Dave Bliss). Ali claims he and the Thompsons were reprimanded for moving their equipment to an unapproved locker, as to find safe haven from the Christian mob, or, the team huddle. (Side note—Mumme had the courage to dismiss the players via voicemail. Nice.)
Good luck Hal. I suggest you start participating in the backpedaling drills with you DB’s, because this is a guaranteed no-win situation. And it would probably be a wise PR move to stop hanging out with Ray Nagin at foot-in-mouth fetish parties. Of course, solid improvement on the field is always a remedy for controversy, so hey, aim for that big 1 win season and hope for the best. Oh, and listen to Cat Stevens. He’s Muslim so you’ll appear cultured and at the same time you’ll be poetically entertained. Glide on the peace train Hal, Glide.
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August 30th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Hal Mumme loves fake punts and hates Islamic Fascists. Tell me again why this is a problem?
August 31st, 2006 at 3:35 am
[...] Intern gave a stellar account of Mumme v. ACLU [...]
August 31st, 2006 at 8:48 am
With those prereqs. it’s a wonder why he’s not on Dubyas cabinet. “Nothin is better than fighting tarra’ than the squib kick.”
September 6th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Hal’s Hideous Hairdo will not serve him well in court-
looks like a televangelist$$$!!
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[...] To quote the prominent scholar, Chris Rock, “there’s rich….and then there’s wealthy. Shaq’s rich…the guy that signs his check, is wealthy.” Yesterday, at the Keeneland Sept. Yearlings sale here in Lexington, Rock’s theorem reached new heights, as Sheikh Mohammed of Dubai was throwing millions around like he was in Hal Mumme’s hurry-up offense (of course, we all know this analogy to be flawed…). The head honcho of one of the world’s most affluent countries, Sheikh Mohammed has been for many years setting the bar at previously unheard of heights with his thoroughbred spending. In just two days at the sale, the Sheikh has racked up a $56 million dollar bill–including a staggering $11.7 million for a Kingmambo colt yesterday afternoon–all for horses that have yet to don a saddle. Of course, when you can spend this kind of stew on horses, having to eat a few mil here and there isn’t going to ruin your Ramadan. Just drive by Bluegrass Airport and take a gander at the Sheikh’s pair of 737’s just chillin’ on the runway as if they’re a couple of Honda civics; Donald Trump would be this guy’s pool boy. They built a ski-slope in the middle of the desert, that’s how rich they are. [...]
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All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
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February 4th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them.
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A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits…
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We do not know, in most cases, how far social failure and success are due to heredity, and how far to environment. But environment is the easier of the two to improve…
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