[Moderated by Matt Jones]

OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that’s neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious “that’s what she said” in the headline.
We’d also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in ‘A’ or ‘B’ because these early ones might suck a little.

Boring, Obligatory Vitals
Height–6′
Weight–205
40–4.4
Year–Junior
Position–Strong Safety
Hometown–Aliquippa, PA (Center)
Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Any and every strong safety will be forever compared to Ronnie Lott. So, for Ashton, we choose Steve Atwater.
Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: Punted in high school.
Something we made up about him: On a middle school survey, he said that when he grew up, he wanted to be just like the late Reggie Roby.
Items of legitimate interest: Cobb had a strong sophomore season, highlighted by seven tackle games against Vandy and LSU. He also had picks against Eastern Kentucky and Georgia. Had a couple of starts, splitting time with Roger Williams.
Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: He currently holds down the strong safety spot on a defense that is much balley-hooed by those who do all the balley-hooing. Well, not nationally. I guess the local balley-hooers.
Below is a video of Cobb getting his pick against EKU…at like the 4:40 mark. Watch the whole thing, though. It’s like seven minutes of chicken soup for the UK football fan’s soul—without all the downer stories about anorexia and stuff. Including Rob Bromley commentary! Also, after Little’s touchdown 3 minutes into the video, watch Tamme get dissed on the jumping back-bump thing the kids are doing these days. It’s awesome. Enjoy:
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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June 30th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Yes! Football
June 30th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Cobb got burnt quite a few times late in the year last season & I screamed a fair amount of expletives in his direction, hopefully he can be more consistent this year…can’t wait for football!!
June 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Cobb is listed as #1 on the depth chart but ex-QB M. Lentz is listed as #2
Interesting!!!
June 30th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Big basketball fan but can’t wait for the Louisville game. Just saw where Rivals ranked Louisville at 46th and UK at 64 in their preseason rankings, just wish all you Cat fans on the boards would stfu, I can legally bet on the game in Nevada and you are spoiling everything. Just for the record I think Louisville should be favored by about 20.
June 30th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Evan: Man I hate to say this, but these really suck. I have to force myself to read them. Some I have not. Dude, I am trying to be nice.. If you are going to make stuff up, make it up superman like or something. I’m not really sure that would help. Change up the format or something. At first I hoped it was the players… But it ain’t..
July 1st, 2008 at 12:08 am
you definitely missed the first Tamme back-bump diss that was better! look at 1:04 mark
July 1st, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Hey, UKBoo, next time you spend your free time writing for a blog filled with ungrateful commentators, you can switch up your format too!