Kentucky Sports Radio
[Moderated by Matt Jones]
[Moderated by Matt Jones]
The last (two) time(s) I freaked out
I just kept lookin’ down
I st-st-stuttered when
You asked me what I’m thinkin’ ’bout
The next time we hang out
I will redeem myself
My heart can’t rest ’til then
Whoa, whoa, I
I can’t wait
To see you again
As I’m sure you’re all aware, those are the lyrics from Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana’s magnum opus: “See You Again”. You also likely know that Miley’s pops, music legend William Ray Cyrus, is a Flatwoods, Kentucky native. Therefore, I propose that Miley has been performing this song for almost a year now in the hopes that Kentucky would get yet another opportunity to see Marquette again in the Dance–the lyrics of the chorus are just too dead on to be mere coincidence. And so it is that our beloved Catropolitans actually DO get their chance to avenge the deaths of Kentucky teams past by vanquishing the overrated foe we call the Marquette Warriors Gold Al McGuires Golden Eagles.
Firstly, we must thank our constituents for the prayers and concern for our safety as I heroically battled a tornado while preparing to watch the Cats in the Georgia Dome this Friday past. Yes, the KSR lads held close to my apron strings (I always wear an apron–a blacksmith’s apron, not a kitchen apron) as I used my brawn and telekinetic powers to fend off the hungry cyclone and send it on its way, but not before it had apologized and done my laundry. Unfortunately, the result of the twister’s visit was that our Cats were a bit spooked by the fact that they had to play in an ACC arena in front of 2 dozen fans and apparently thought they were engaged in a JV scrimmage. Nonetheless, we are alive and well in the Dance and first on the card is the Avian Flu infested Eagles of Marquette. Oh, and by the by, enjoy these KYE’s while they last because I’ll only be doing five more after this one. What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song, and I’ll try to write Know Your Enemy.
Artist’s rendering of Mosley’s Friday night in the Georgia Dome
Location
Wisconsin is the home of bratwurst, bars every 50 yards no matter how desolate the highway, the Brett Favre Stalkers Association of America, KSR posse member Payne, and perhaps the worst non-Long Island accent in all the US and A. It also happens to house Marquette University in Milwaukee where the University was founded by those wacky Jesuits in 1881 in order to educate the booming German immigrant population about such matters as Pabst Blue Ribbon and Laverne and Shirley reruns.
Notable Alumni
While Marquette was on the verge of getting a free pass by playing host to Chris Farley’s formative years, they went and let me uncover that Matthew Lesko is an alum. Not quite sure of who Matthew Lesko is? Think “yellow questions marks”. On a suit. A blue suit. And with glasses. And that he looks like a cross between your freshman chemistry teacher that was just a little “too” enthused about the subject and the Riddler’s dorky father. Lesko is one of the many kings of 4-in-the-morning infomercials where he blithers on about getting free money from the government or some such nonsense. Honestly, if you have a good idea of what he’s all about, then you either have 1000 times more patience than me, or you are in a full body cast and can’t work the remote control. The United States is a worse place with you in it Mr. Lesko. Thanks, Marquette.
Is it wrong to wish that someone had cholera?
Cheerleader Scouting Report
Fine, so I have looked and looked and can find no pictures or links to the Marquette cheerleaders or dance team. Very well, Marquette, this is what happens: I present the 2007-2008 Marquette Dance Team:
Basketball History
Nothing much for about 50 years, then Al McGuire for a while, a National Championship in 1977, then nothin’ until DWade. Sprinkle in a Deiner here and there and that’s basically Marquette basketball.
Players
‘Quette has a 6′6 sophomore named Lazar Hayward. My guess is that Tom Crean always uses “air quotes” when referencing his first name. “Now, Dominic, I want you to guard someone I’m going to call, “Lazar”. Now, in order to stop this “Lazar” you are going to work hard and move your feet. Otherwise, this “Lazar” could explode on us and put us in a deep hole.”
Airtight Predictions
Meeks won’t play. Neither will Patterson…or Matt Heissenbuttel. Mark Coury will…never mind. Purry (that’s how we say it in the Mountains) comes up big and goes for 46 and 16. He will surprise everyone by finally learning how to gain weight and shows up to the game at a muscular 432 pounds. Ramel and Joe will lead the Cats to a victory, ensuring that their Cat careers will continue for the forseeable future. Mark Krebs will try to make Matt Scherbenske laugh by making fart noises every time Dominic James takes a step. He will be quite successful.
Summary
Cats win going away setting up a nice matchup against two third-grade girls with pigtails that play for Stanford. Oh, they’re seven footers? Can honestly say I didn’t quite expect that from Robin and Brook Lopez. Anywho, take off work, or don’t do work for 2-3 hours while the game is on and cheer our Felines on to victory. Go Cats.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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March 20th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Cats by 6 74 - 68
March 20th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Nun’s with guns….now that is AMERICAN!
GO CATS!!!!
March 20th, 2008 at 9:36 am
what time is tipoff? and lets imagine someone lived in ashland…how would one go about seeing said game?
March 20th, 2008 at 9:37 am
1) Why did you not post 1st. I heard you would have gotten a really nice prize! lol!
March 20th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I’m sure I didn’t get the intricacies of the Lazar air quote joke, but it was funny none the less.
March 20th, 2008 at 9:48 am
from an article in the H-L:
To represent Kentucky is to strive to meet fan expectations that Perry Stevenson called “seven championships in six years.”
Love that kid!
March 20th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Nuns with guns never gets old.
March 20th, 2008 at 9:51 am
That middle cheerleader is hot!
March 20th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Matthew Lesko can be seen driving around DC all spring and summer in a Mini Cooper complete with a bijillion question marks on it. No joke.
March 20th, 2008 at 9:54 am
i think packing heat is a catholic thing. i’ve heard they hide the guns under all their churches
March 20th, 2008 at 9:56 am
super tight game, joe and ramel make us sweat it out but do move on. i think we just hit the mark… 65-61 kitties.
March 20th, 2008 at 9:57 am
#9 — I think he lives in Adams Morgan. Made me a little nervous when I looked at an apt and his car was parked out front.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:14 am
If anyone is using ncaasports.com to watch the game you better log on now. The line to get access is
starting to fill up. Log on, and jsut keep the page always open so you don’t lose your place in line.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:14 am
We have a great team for this tourney ….. we have the personnel to run people to death when everyone is healthy, and the ability to slow it down and grind it out. The problem is that teams know we have no depth and they will try to exploit that by being aggressive and getting fouls.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:17 am
HAHA! We’re in! Whistlin’ Dixie Fellers! We’re in!!!
YEE HAWWWWW! WE”RE IN!
And our coach won’t make Sheray leave the lane during a free throw attempt. WOOHOOO!
We’re IN! HAHA!
March 20th, 2008 at 10:23 am
5, it’s from one of the greatest films of all-time: Austin Powers.
“Here’s my second plan. Back in the 60’s, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a “laser.” Using these “lasers,” we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the “Ozone Layer.” Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.”
March 20th, 2008 at 10:30 am
3. I don’t know if this helps, but this website has the CBS coverage maps for all the games in the first round.
http://www.hdsportsguide.com/news/2008/ncaa-tournament-coverage-maps/
Hope this helps. (It contains the map posted on this site earlier, but also a lot more).
March 20th, 2008 at 10:33 am
13 - Thanks for the heads up!
March 20th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Damn you, Mosley. One Dick Cheney is terrible, BUT FIVE!?!
March 20th, 2008 at 10:43 am
13. Thanks. I’m in the waiting room as #30,733
March 20th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I’m 26,676. I’ll sell you my spot for $5 or one Snickers bar. Why wait?
March 20th, 2008 at 10:48 am
There’s no line no waiting.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:49 am
I, too, am a Flatwoods, KY native. I do not know BRC, although he did attend my highschool graduation(pre achy breaky) wearing moccasin boots with laces up to the knee.
That would not be a good look for the University of Kentucky basketball team. Or the football team, or girls soccer or….
GO CATS!
March 20th, 2008 at 11:04 am
As usual, Mosley gets the job done… right!
March 20th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Marquette Cheerleader
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudz1985/2312118752/
March 20th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Where on the NCAA website do you go to request the game?
I know, stupid question, but I’ve looked all over and am stumped.
Thanks, in advance.
March 20th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Google search “watch games on ncaasports.com” without the quotation marks. It’s the first result. Google is an amazing thing.