Kentucky Sports Radio

Happy John Wall day!  Basketball tonight, football tomorrow afternoon.  What a great weekend!  I expect to see everyone tailgating tomorrow for the game.  Don’t give me this “it’s just Eastern” or “it’s too cold” excuse.  Man up and support the team.  I’ll be on Cooper at 6 a.m. if you need a friend.  Speaking of friends, I’ll use this spot to welcome the new people to KSR.  I don’t know your names, and frankly, I don’t care.  Just make sure you start the coffee if you’re the first one to the office and I better not be missing any Lean Cuisines from the break room fridge.  Now, meet the Colonels of Eastern Kentucky.  They are who we thought they were…

Eastern Kentucky University

As a former UK student and current Lexington resident, I know EKU for two things:

– Underage Drinking - I’m not calling out Richmond’s ABC task force here, but, I once saw a kid get into the bar with his personalized Tee-Ball trading card.  Is this a bad thing?  Not always.  But, it’s hard to socialize at the Paddy Wagon when you’re surrounded by Madison Central’s prom party.

– “The Slump Buster” - No, I don’t mean that the EKU football team is an easy win after falling into a slump.  I mean, if you are a young man in Lexington, and lately you have… ummmm… we’ll say, you have been on a rough streak with the ladies. And you need to meet someone that is… ummmm… a little more free-spirited, with loose morals and a questionable bill of health.  Spend a night in Richmond, I’m just sayin.

Notable Alumni

– Dan Patrick - That’s right, your favorite SportsCenter anchor not named Charlie Steiner attended EKU for two years on a basketball scholarship

– Thaksin Shinawatra - Thai businessman who was Prime Minister of Thailand from 2001 to 2006.  I have no clue how he ended up in Richmond, KY

– Lee Majors - The Six Million Dollar Man and the pride of Middlesboro, KY.  Who knew that someone from Middlesboro could be successful?

Cheerleader Scouting Report

The Colonel cheerleaders are hot, and some of them are reallllly hot.  But, should we be worried about the guy on the left?  What is he doing? 

Head Coach, Dean Hood

(from FamilyWatchDog.com)

Coach Hood looks like that guy that smells like cheap scotch and gives inappropriate hugs to random kids at his nephew’s birthday party.  He is doing a great job in his second year with the Colonels, but, it has to be hard to recruit when you can’t be within 300 yards of a high school.  Just kiddddding, Dean.

Key Players To Watch

Last week, for the first time all season, I didn’t make fun of the Mississippi State players to watch.  I dropped the ball.  Deep down, I feel like the loss is my fault.  I was coming in high off the Auburn game and completely overlooked the Bulldogs.  To the fans and everyone in Big Blue Nation, I’m sorry.  I’m extremely sorry.

But, I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this.  You will never see any blogger in the entire country, make fun of opponents as hard as I will the rest of the season.  You will never see someone tease the opposing team, as hard as I will tease them, the rest of the season.  And you will never see another guy piss off an entire university, like I will for the rest of the season.  God bless. 

#16 T.J. Pryor, QB
Pryor is a playmaker at quarterback (think Curtis Pulley, minus the weed).  He is in his first year at the helm for the Colonels and has eight touchdowns on the season (four passing, four rushing).  Unfortunately for T.J., Trevard Lindley is back and he’s hungry.

#99 Andrew Soucy, DT
Is that Tank Abbott?  Andrew Soucy prepares for games by ripping phone books in half, drinking Budweiser, and eating kittens.  He once won a toughman contest at halftime of the Austin Peay game.  Soucy has blocked a kick in each of EKU’s last four games (fact) and has proven that he can still be a force on the gridiron at the age of 46.  Look for Soucy on the field tomorrow (he’ll be the one in cutoff denim shorts and a wife beater, carrying a tire iron)

#70 Emory Attig, DT
UK offensive line, beware.  Emory Attig may smell like strawberry Pantene Pro-V shampoo and ocean breeze Herbal Essence conditioner, but he leads EKU with 3.5 sacks on the season… and I’m still not intimidated.

Final Word / Prediction

I’d like to think that Joker lets Newton throw it down field at least twice in this one, but, we all know it won’t happen.  UK needs to open up the offense against this weak opponent, before we head into the crucial three game stretch.  Let’s see what we’re made of!  Or run Cobb to the left out of the Wildcat and throw the bubble screen, your call.  

I’m sure we’ll see the same old boring offense here.  They will put up points just because we’re playing Eastern, but, I don’t expect to be wow’d at any point in the game.  If you want to see exciting plays from UK tomorrow, I recommend that you DVR tonight’s basketball game and watch it tomorrow at 1.

Trevard Lindley picks one off, Cobb returns a punt for a TD, and the Cats roll…

Kentucky 41, Eastern Kentucky 13 (Please, please, please, please no injuries!)

46 2287!