*Co-Author credit to Kristen Geil and Aaron Flener. Our group text has produced at least 8 blog posts in the last 2 months (None of which have been a joint effort on Aaron’s Bachelor posts…those are all him)
It’s a Friday night. What better time to come up with a little KSR Drinking Game than now? Chances are good that you will probably set your alarm for one of two things tomorrow: To wake up to actually attend College GameDay or to wake up to watch College GameDay. If you’re anything like me, the only time you watch this ESPN program is when Kentucky is being featured. That’s okay. Some of you all are familiar with the show’s format, and some of you are not. No problem. The game is simple and requires little to no prior knowledge about the show at all. The game requires no skill either. If you’re reading this now, grab your beverage of choice. You don’t need any rules…it’s a Friday night. If you’re reading this around 11 a.m. for the start of College Gameday, grab your beverage of choice (maybe it’s a coffee from Speedway–P.S. Does anyone else reject them every time they ask if you want to get a Speedy Rewards card?) and settle in for an explanation of the rules…
*As always, drink responsibly. And by that I mean don’t play this game for real. It won’t end well for you…
- Simply drink anytime Digger Phelps gets booed….
- Take 1 drink if they show the new locker room.
- Take 4 drinks if Dick Vitale name drops KSR or Matt Jones
- Take 2 drinks if they talk about dodgeball or wiffle ball.
- Waterfall the entire segment if the ESPN GameDay crew actually plays any form of dodgeball or wiffle ball.
- Take 1 drink every time Jay Bilas talks trash about the NCAA. Take 2 drinks if he happens to say a rap lyric as well.
- Finish your drink and ask yourself “why not me?” if a student hits a half court shot for the money.
- Take 1 drink anytime you see a student texting instead of cheering. Take a shot to prove you’re a better fan than a 19 year old. Then finish typing the text you were working on to send to your friend in the student section to ask how GameDay is going.
- Take 1 drink if you see a fan in a Cookie Monster costume (KSR College’s Ben Ward has promised to be wearing this outfit)
- Take 1 drink if the crew mentions the fact that Alex Oriakhi picked Missouri over Kentucky. Drink double if your mind wanders to what the season could have been like with the addition of Oriakhi.
- Take 3 drinks if you see Frank Haith smiling. Seriously, the man never smiles. The last time he smiled was when he was a baby. But that was just an accident.
- Take 1 drink if they mention the NCAA charges for Frank Haith and Missouri. Finish your drink and order 2 more if you’re Frank Haith.
- Take 1 drink If Cal says “you people are crazy”
- Take 1 drink if Cal uses any of his other “Cal-isms” (You know them all, and if you don’t…tweet Erin Calipari and ask her)
- Take 2 drinks if they show video footage from last year’s national championship celebration. One for your memories and one for Michael Kidd-Gilchrist’s smile.
- Take 1 drink if they do the “Noise-o-meter” segment (You know, the one where Erin Andrews used to go into the crowd to see how loud it was…)
- Take 4 drinks if they show the picture of John Robic playing dodgeball.
- Take 1 drink if Cal wears his blue pullover for his interview.
- Take 2 drinks if they talk about the UK fans infiltrating Vandy’s GameDay last year. Read a textbook if you want to feel the same level of excitement shown in the Vandy GameDay crowd last year.
- Throw your drink if they do a “Harlem Shake” anything. Anything at all. Then go watch your favorite one on YouTube. You know you can’t stop.
- Take 1 drink for every UK celeb sighting or mention (I’m looking at you, Ashley Judd)
- Take 3 drinks if you spot Fake Barney in the crowd. Finish your drink if you can spot him without the costume.
- Take 1 drink for every sign being held up that somehow incorporates the letters “E S P and N.”
- Take 1 drink for every marriage proposal sign you see directed toward a UK player.
- Take 1 drink every time someone mentions the word “bubble.” Drink twice if it’s in reference to Kentucky.
- If you can still read this after the last rule… you’re either extremely impressive or I’m worried about you.
- Drink 1 beer every time they mention the phrase “one-and-done” and then yell “ONE AND DONE!” as you crush the beer on your forehead.
- Take 1 drink if they mention medical insurance for players. Take 2 drinks if you understand what they are talking about.
- Take 1 drink anytime John Calipari pimps out his website on national television. Take 3 drinks if you ever downloaded one of his “Lexycasts.” Remember those?
- Don’t drink, just smile anytime they mention next year’s recruiting class.
- Take 2 drinks if they show footage from and/or mention the ESPN “All-Access” TV show. Bonus 3 drinks if they show Archie’s wink.
- If you see Referee Guy, drink twice.
- If they show the Nerlens Noel injruy again, put down your drink because you know you are going to have to wince and close your eyes.
- If you see people in 80s costumes, turn off the TV for one minute because that was a stupid idea on the part of the UK student section.
- Take 2 drinks if you see any of the KSR fatheads
- Take 2 drinks when they talk about Louisville, Indiana or Duke
- If Christian Watford’s shot is shown, you have to finish your drink and punch the next Indiana fan you see.
- Take 1 drink for any footage of the fountains outside of Rupp Arena
- Take 8 drinks (one for each) if they show the National Championship banners
- If you see a Sweet 16 banner, drink your commemorative Makers Mark bottle from the ’96 national championship. Oh wait…we don’t hang Sweet 16 banners like some schools do. Your bottle is safe.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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