Does UK basketball have you down? Does Archie Goodwin make your head want to explode? Does Alex Poythress make you yell at your television like a crazy person? Do you find yourself thinking back to New Orleans or dreaming about 18 year old twins? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone.
You share these feelings with the entire Big Blue Nation and the KSR family. If you are finding games to be all frustration and no fun, have no fear, we here at KSR have a solution.
KSR College Den Mother Kristen Geil and I took it upon ourselves to come up with a UK Basketball Drinking Game. Our hope is to put more fun into watching this year’s version of the Cats and increase the entertainment level of Matt’s post game show. Gather your friends (because drinking alone is “frowned upon”) and give everyone a couple of rules to keep up with. If you see your rule happen yell “DRINK!”
Put a cooler by the couch and grab a beverage. It’s time to bring the fun back to Kentucky Basketball.
THE KSR UK BASKETBALL DRINKING GAME
*Take a drink every time you can hear Cal yelling “GOOOOO!!!!!”
*Take a drink if you can lip read someone cursing.
*Take a drink every time Alex Poythress is taken out of the game. This happens quite often due to fouls, mistakes, or fatigue.
*Take a drink every time we have two or more white guys on the floor.
*Take a drink for an Eli Capilouto, Ellen Calipari, or Ashley Judd sighting.
*Take a drink if anyone takes a charge. Very rare.
*Take a drink if we give up an offensive rebound put back. This happens a lot when Nerlen’s goes for a block and doesn’t get it.
*Take a drink if Mays or Wiltjer miss an open three. It’s up to the discretion of your group to determine if the shot was considered “open.” If you can’t come to a decision, drink. You’re over thinking it.
*Take a drink if Kyle Wiljter scores off the dribble. You’ll have plenty of time to prepare for this drink.
*Take a drink if Julius Mays head fakes.
*Take a drink if Julius Mays does a booty twerk. This is Kristen’s rule. When I asked her what she meant by this she said “You know, when he runs with his butt out or pops it after he scores.” This is a girls only rule. Guys do not drink to a male booty twerk.
*Take a drink if Jimmy Dyke’s says something that rhymes or if he mentions his aircraft.
*Take a drink if the words “Kentucky” & “bubble” are used in the same sentence.
*Take a drink if last year’s team is mentioned.
*Take a drink if next year’s team is mentioned.
*Take a drink if you’re on the live blog and Matt says “We need to get a stop here” or someone asks Mrs. Tyler if “we got this?”
The Archie Rules:
*Take a drink if Archie is fouled and misses one foul shot. If he misses both fouls shots, enjoy another drink.
*Take a drink if Archie gets his shot blocked.
*Take a drink if Archie turns the ball over.
The Nerlen’s Rules:
*Take a drink if Nerlen’s blocks a shot.
*Finish your drink if Nerlen’s picks up his second foul before the 10 minute mark in the first half. Strictly adhere to this rule.
*Finish your drink if Nerlen’s drags his crotch across a defenders head/face.
*Take a shot if we win. Everyone enjoys a celebrating wins.
*Take a shot if we lose. Everyone enjoys forgetting losses.
This year’s team is not as good as last year’s team (drink) and it’s not as good as next year’s team will be (drink). They are what they are. Instead of letting them frustrate you, let them intoxicate you. Life will be much more enjoyable. As always, KSR encourages you to drink responsibly.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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