For some reason, this email from the SEC office ended up in my inbox…
“Dear Texas A&M,
Welcome to the SEC. We are so glad you are playing in our league now. Attached you will find the league schedule for 2013. We considered all our options and decided to royally screw you. We’re sorry, but you will play your first ever SEC road game at Kentucky. Things you may want to keep in mind:
*Calipari has never lost an SEC game at home.
*Rupp Arena holds 24,000 people. All of those people will be wearing blue besides the 50 tickets they give you in the corner of the upper arena.
*Don’t go to your locker room at halftime. Go get ice cream. It’s delicious. Might want to take the starters out a minute early so they can get in line before the rush.
Hope you guys enjoy our league, and you’ll thank us later for letting you play UK early. They are going to be really damn good by late February.
Not sure how that made it into my email, but I figured this was the appropriate time to share it with you.
While it’s true Calipari has never lost an SEC home game, Texas A&M has never lost an SEC game. Period. Tomorrow, something has got to give. The Cats are coming off a shaky win last night in Nashville and look to keep the momentum going as they return home. A guy with frosted tips has predicted a third straight Final Four run for the Cats. There’s a long way to go to achieve that, but you’ve got to like the improvement we’ve seen during the past month and the guts some of our guys showed to pull out the win at Vandy .
Texas A&M is the next measuring stick on the journey. They are the enemy. Let’s get to know them.
Texas A&M University is located in College Station, Texas. College Station is called home by the 78th Heisman Trophy winner, Johnny Manziel. Some of his favorite places to hang out in his Scooby Doo costume include these nightlife establishments (these are real names of real bars in College Station): Daisy Dukes (Gillispie has a permanent table), Dixie Chicken, Dry Bean, Dudley’s Draw, Last Chance Lounge, Mad Hatters (for when LSU comes to town), and V Bar (for conservatives).
An idiot announcer called football Manziel’s 3rd best sport behind baseball and golf. Lucky for Johnny there are 8 golf courses in College Station where he can hone his skills when he isn’t practicing the sport he’s actually the best in (speed skating).
I hope to visit College Station one day with the KSR crew. Last Chance Lounge sounds like our place.
Lyle Lovett- A sub par country music artist, Lovett attended Texas A&M with a guy named Robert Earl Keen. The two of them hung out and wrote music often. Lovett’s most notable song was probably If I Had A Boat. It is in no way anything like “I’m on a Boat”, although I’d like it a lot more if it was.
Despite not being blessed in the looks department, Lovett was married to one of the hottest women in Hollywood during her prime. Don’t believe me? Lovett was married to Julia Roberts from 1993-1995. I don’t know what he had going for him, but it was something.
Acie Law IV- Almost single handedly responsible for UK basketball’s recent period of demise, Law IV was the point guard for Billy Gillispie at Texas A&M. He led them to a victory over Louisville in Rupp Arena during the NCAA Tournament. Soon after, Gillispie was named the head coach at Kentucky and all hell broke loose. Thanks for that, Acie.
In addition to effectively putting UK basketball on 2 years of probation, Law IV also has one heck of a back tattoo. It’s some sort of bird with the word “blessed” under it. Don’t believe me? Check this out. When is comes to tattoos of birds on a person’s back, this certainly is one of them.
Chuck Knoblauch- A 4 time All-Star and a 4 time World Series champion (1991- Minnesota; 1998-2000 New York), Knoblauch played his college baseball at Texas A & M. Despite winning a gold glove at 2nd base in 1997, his throwing yips would eventually relegate him to designated hitting duty. Knoblauch’s throwing got so bad that he once fielded a ball from his position at second base and THREW IT INTO THE STANDS! Even John Wall thinks that was a bad throw.
Since retirement things haven’t turned up all candy canes and roses for Knoblauch, either. He went in on a lady he was involved with in 2011 on twitter. I’m not going to link it here because his comments are insanely inappropriate, but if you know how to use google you can find it. Also, in 2010 Knoblauch pled guilty to misdemeanor assault of his then common law wife, Stacey Stelmach. Don’t believe me? Here’s his mugshot.
Cheerleading Scouting Report:
Texas A&M’s football team doesn’t have cheerleaders. They have “yell leaders”, and they are all male. We made an executive decision in our weekly KYE meeting this week to forgo a picture of dudes in exchange for a picture of Texas A&M’s lovely basketball cheerleaders. I believe I speak for myself and the rest of the KSR SEC tournament crew when I say I look forward to seeing where these beautiful ladies fall into the annual rankings in Nashville. See you girls at The Stage.
The Aggies play their home games in Reed Arena, which seats about half the amount of people Rupp Arena does. The Aggies basketball program has experienced a recent resurgence under Billy Gillispie and Mark Turgeon, making 6 out of the last 7 NCAA tournaments. They made one Sweet 16 during that time, in 2007. That Sweet 16 appearance ruined Kentucky basketball for two years, as UK hired Billy G. away from A&M soon thereafter. Keep that in mind when they come into Rupp tomorrow.
Billy Kennedy- The former coach of your Murray State Racers, Kennedy is in his 2nd year at Texas A&M. He took over for Mark Turgeon when he left for Maryland. In his 5 years at Murray State Kennedy took the Racers to one NCAA tournament and one NIT. As a 13 seed in the 2010 NCAA Tournament, Kennedy’s squad took down perennial tourney underachiever Vanderbilt in the first round before falling 54-52 to a Butler team that would go on to play in the title game.
He missed the first game of the season last year due to being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, but returned to finish the rest of the year as the Aggies finished 14-18 (4-14) in the Big 12.
He brings Texas A&M into Rupp flexing an 11-3 overall record. They are 1-0 in the SEC after defeating Arkansas 69-51 in College Station on Wednesday.
Elston Turner, Jr.- A junior transfer from Washington, Turner, Jr. is averaging 15.5 pts, 3.6 rebounds, 2.8 assists, and is shooting 42% from 3 point range. His father, predictably named Elston Turner, Sr., played his college basketball at Ole Miss and went on to play 8 years in the NBA for the Mavericks, Nuggets, and Bulls.
He kind of looks like a skinny Patrick Patterson.
Fabyon Harris- 10.2, 42 % 3 pt. transfer from college of southern idaho. junior
Fabyon averages 10.2 pts and shoots 42% from distance. Fabyon is a junior transfer from the College of Southern Idaho, which is located in the lower part of the state of Idaho.
Fabyon looks a little like Julius Mays.
I want to see us play a complete game. There were times early in the game last night that I thought we were going to win by 30 and I was going to get to shove it in the sweet old man’s face beside me. I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t have done that. He really was so nice. He was ASTONISHED when I told him WCS played wide receiver in high school. His old friend beside him was wearing corduroy pants in the 90 degree arena and they had a nice laugh about it. But I digress.
I look for Kentucky to play well on the quick turnaround. These guys are only going to get better in games by playing in games. This past month has been more about conditioning and effort. MOST guys are giving effort. You’ll know who isn’t by looking at the bench in the coming weeks. I’m still optimistic about this team. They just frustrate the dickens out of me sometimes. (h/t sweet old man)
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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