Kentucky Sports Radio
[Moderated by Matt Jones, Drew Franklin and Tyler Thompson]
[Moderated by Matt Jones, Drew Franklin and Tyler Thompson]
Everyone take a seat, please. Quiet down. Quiet down.
Hey, you in the back, you have five seconds to finish your Faygo and throw it away. Food and drink are prohibited in this classroom. And put your cigarette out, too. Don’t make me tell you again.
Now, WELCOME to a very special “Introduction to Twitter” course, or “Twitter 101″ for short. Today, you, Louisville fans, will learn how to properly use the popular social media network to better communicate with peers, receive timely news updates, connect with your target audience, and, most importantly, talk trash to Kentucky fans. Many of you are already very active on Twitter, but Twitter 101 will teach you new tricks and methods to maximize usability while not looking like a complete douchebag. Because, honestly, 99% of you do.
Let’s get started.
There are over 500 million people using Twitter all over the world, so finding an available Twitter handle is not easy. In fact, it can be very frustrating. You know that feeling when you’re scrambling to find a bottle of Crown Royal on the morning of a home football game? It can be nearly impossible. That’s because so many people are looking for the very same thing you are. Demand outweighs supply. In this case, demand is a catchy, clever Twitter handle that hasn’t already been claimed.
Now, think about those times you can’t find Crown and you’re already running late for the tailgate. It’s a nightmare, isn’t it? Your T-Mobile is ringing off the hook and “Where u at dogg?” text messages flood your inbox from everyone already out there. They’re irritated because it’s your Saturday to bring the dice and you’re nowhere to be found.
So what do you do?
You compromise. You settle for what you can obtain. You buy Canadian Club, Canadian Hunter, or Royal Canadian. It’s not what you set out to get, but it will get the job done.
Choosing a Twitter handle is no different.
If @CardStrong, @CardNation, or @GoCards are unavailable, you may have to add a number to the end of the handle. Try @CardStrong88, @CardNation1, or @GoCards3333. It’s not what you originally wanted, but like the Saturday morning Crown Royal hunt, sometimes you have to settle for something close if your first choice isn’t there.
LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR ABOUT TWITTER HANDLES BEFORE WE MOVE ON.
DO NOT select a Twitter handle that gives UK fans a reason to make fun of you.
Write that down.
DO NOT select a Twitter handle that gives UK fans a reason to make fun of you.
There are three easy rules to help keep this from happening:
Rule #1: Avoid anything containing “DaVille”
Rule #2: You’re not a “BOSS,” “DAWG,” or “SOLDIER,” and if you were, I wouldn’t have to tell you to refrain from calling yourself one.
Rule #3: The number 69 is unacceptable.
In short, keep it as classy as possible.
Plain and simple.
This isn’t up for debate.
There is nothing wrong with using Twitter to insult others, specifically Kentucky fans and KSR. Just be good at it and keep it in good fun.
DO: Be creative! Be original!
DON’T: Do this…
That embarrasses the entire fanbase. There’s no place for that.
DO: Be witty! Be funny!
DON’T: Do this…
AIDS too? It seems unnecessary with the whole death by car wreck thing.
I’ve noticed most of you struggle with grammar — or “grammer”, as you call it – on Twitter. That is UNACCEPTABLE.
If you’re ever in doubt, refer back to the English manual you were given with your GED Prep Test.
Here are a few examples…
Your/You’re
“Your a little bitch.”
“You’re a little bitch.”
“Your Cats are going down!”
“You’re Cats are going down!”
There/Their/They’re
There are too many UK fans in this bar.
Their are too many UK fans in this bar.
They’re are too many UK fans in this bar.
There basketball players got paid.
Their basketball players got paid.
They’re basketball players got paid.
There going to get spanked by the Cards!
Their going to get spanked by the Cards!
They’re going to get spanked by the Cards!
A hashtag is used to mark keywords or topics in a Tweet. It was created organically by Twitter users as a way to categorize messages, but it can also be a great way to make your tweet really jump off the page or out of the smartphone.
Take UK’s hashtags, for example:
#BBN
#WeAreUK
#GoBigBlue
They’re very straightforward, which is why they’re frequently used by Kentucky fans.
But let’s look at some of Louisville’s most popular hashtags:
#CardSoHard
#BirdGang
#L1C4
No. No. No.
No.
Go back to the drawing board.
Take everything you’ve learned today and it should save you from being a douchebag on Twitter. BUT, at the end of the day, only YOU can prevent douchebaggery.
Good luck with that, Louisville fans.
Class dismissed.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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August 30th, 2012 at 9:04 am
Good start to the day, Drew. Love the line-beard on the Twitter bird.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:06 am
The most terrific twitter bird ever. I think giving the bird the line beard was a stroke of genius.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:08 am
FIRST!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:12 am
Great start drew! Working with what they give you – man, they make it easy!!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:13 am
Thanks for the laughs this morning guys, this cracked me up
August 30th, 2012 at 9:13 am
And Franklin comes roaring out of the Blue corner at the opening bell to land a haymaker right upside those filthy beaks! Bravo!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:18 am
Im not the biggest KSR fan, I dont think Matt Jones likes to hear arguments that are not coinciding with his own views. However, the “Louisville hate week” pictures have been priceless. Thanks guys.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:18 am
Aids too? Hilarious.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:21 am
Hilarious.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:22 am
Your not funny
August 30th, 2012 at 9:24 am
Fantastic!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:26 am
PRICELESS DREW!!! Well done! You left out that if your name is St Claire…your not a gangster!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:27 am
Drew killing it a usual. Kicking things off in style, it’s gonna be a good day.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:27 am
A UK fan walks into a bar, takes a seat, orders a drink, and while he’s waiting, he turns to his neighbor and says, “hey, I got a great UofL joke, you wanna hear it?”
At this, his neighbor turns toward him and says, “before you tell your little joke, be aware of this. I’m 6-5, 350 pounds, and I’m a UofL fan. The guy behind me, he’s 6-8, 400 pounds, and he’s a UofL fan. And the guy behind you, he’s 7-0, 500 pounds, and he’s a UofL fan. Now do you still want to tell us your little joke?”
The UK fan says, “no, that’s okay. I’d hate to have to explain it three times.”
August 30th, 2012 at 9:34 am
I HATE UL Brother!!! UK by 7 in Lighting Gate part 2!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:34 am
Nice job mixing the tribal tat with the calligraphic “L” tat on the Twitter Bird.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:40 am
Oustanding post, Drew. You are one creative and funny dude.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:40 am
Hahahahahahhahaha. YES!
August 30th, 2012 at 9:41 am
Very funny Drew. This makes me miss those now rare C.M. Tomlin posts.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:44 am
linebeard AND tats on the wings, hahahahahahahah
August 30th, 2012 at 9:49 am
Well done Mr. Franklin! #L1CDouchebags
August 30th, 2012 at 9:50 am
#10 I see what you did there.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:59 am
Drew Frankin for President!!!
August 30th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Do me a favor and do these two things:
Search twitter for #BBN and see the utter madness that is Big Blue Nation, then consider the irony of the poor joke being made here.
Google “Kentucky fans”, take a gander at the first dozen or so results associated with the search, do the same for Louisville fans, tell me what you see.
You guys are the worst fan base in all of America, and the only people who don’t realize it are Matt Jones and every due-paying member of the KKK.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:00 am
That’s “Franklin”,..not “Frankin”
August 30th, 2012 at 10:02 am
Although I do truly enjoy Drew Franklin’s writing. I have an unfortunate disposition towards clever diction.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:05 am
I eat crayons.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:08 am
I think of Strong and Pitino when I’m in the shower
August 30th, 2012 at 10:17 am
#26…Drew and “diction” in same sentence…how appropriate.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:20 am
Does anyone know of a good sports betting website? Im trying to get in on this +14
August 30th, 2012 at 10:21 am
I love you, Drew Franklin. That’s the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:21 am
Beyond funny. I’m glad it’s only 10:20am on #LouisvilleHateDay
August 30th, 2012 at 10:24 am
That was a good one, Drew. Nice photoshop work, too.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:25 am
But seriously, in a completely unbiased opinion, I think “#L1C4″ is so stupid. I even have a card friend (I know, I know, but I grew up with him) that thinks it is so dumb.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:25 am
Everyone is gonna be tweeting that Cody Philhower guy…i kinda feel bad…no i don’t
August 30th, 2012 at 10:30 am
#24 “Kentucky fans” on google pulls up pics of students celebrating a national title on state street.
“Louisville Fans” pulls up a couple empty stadiums, MKG, Hoods and one pic from the final four. How did that work out for you?
August 30th, 2012 at 10:33 am
#29 jill and skank in the same sentence…how appropriate
August 30th, 2012 at 10:34 am
Hey! Jill is BACK! Keeping it classy sweetheart?
August 30th, 2012 at 11:27 am
I can’t hear you all over the logically fallacious appeals to popularity and anecdotal evidence.
August 30th, 2012 at 11:44 am
I am a fricking douchebag and I apologize. While trying to sound intellectual and such, in truth I am taking my own incoherent arguments and allowing a chimpanzee to restructure them into a legible, yet douchey, form.
August 30th, 2012 at 11:58 am
#10…bless your little heart
August 30th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
#40 – I didn’t make an argument. I simply pointed out that arguments based on appeals to popularity or anecdotal evidence are invalid.
Also, if proper use of spelling, grammar, and syntax makes me a douche, then I will happily accept that title.
August 30th, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Grammar on twitter? Are you kidding me, that’s like expecting Drew Franklin to be classy. Twitter is for butchering words and Drew Franklin is for being a douche bag.
August 30th, 2012 at 1:35 pm
“Your T Mobile is ringing off the hook” hahahaha that’s the best line of the whole piece.