The Internet has revolutionized the world of business. 20 years ago to buy all the Kentucky memorabilia you could handle you would have to wade through hundreds of booths at a flea market to find the gems you’ll see below. Now you can order all this stuff from the comfort of your own home. Everyday I wake up thankful that I can order a photo of Terrence Jones drawn as the terminator or some obscure lawn decoration while laying on the couch. In order to provide you with the complete assortment of UK collectables I have scoured the depths of the Internet to bring you another edition of the most bizarre memorabilia that people are trying to force upon the buying public:
The 2012 Champion Posters
Wow. Where to begin with this one? It’s awesomeness is only matched by some of the most… errrrr unique artwork I’ve ever seen. But seriously what more could you want in an addition to your UK man cave? These custom posters feature references to decades old movies, terrorists, and of course lots of puns. “I pity the fool that has to guard Mr. Teague!” C’mon that is comic genius! I really enjoy the artist’s reasoning to depict Lamb as Hannibal Lector (because he cannot be contained) as he wrote in the description.
These eight posters can be yours for only $30. Seriously though, someone should probably get Darius Miller out of that huge bottle of beer, he’s got a roster to make.
The University of Kentucky Football Gourd
What better way to declare your love of a sport’s team than a dried out piece of fruit? Another custom piece of art from Etsy is this painted gourd which retails for just 12.95. My favorite thing is the gourd’s expression. I like to think it is the exact reaction a walk on from Floyd County would have when he saw an SEC corner bearing down on him. The seller offers many other gourds with the same reaction, in fact you could decorate your yard with terrified gourds from nearly every NFL team though I’m not exactly sure why you would want to. I’d hold off on this purchase until the basketball pumpkin and baseball squash become available so you can buy the whole set.
The Rivalry Gnomes
In the past I’ve written about the horrifying qualities of gnomes and the so called “collectability “of rocks but somehow, somewhere, someone thought it would be an excellent idea to combine the two. David Jackson dug this treasure up from lids.com where it sells for $25 dollars. Now gnomes are pretty scary by themselves but when you cast them about to commit murder via basketball they become more scary than having to shoot the game winner with Anthony Davis closing out. I think it’s best to avoid this item unless you live out in the country and would like to scare off any would-be intruders.
Guy In a UK Shirt
Ebay is a funny place where you can buy just about anything your heart desires. Things like this Polaroid of a random guy wearing a UK shirt. Apparently the seller doesn’t even know the identity of this mustached fellow and for some reason decided to throw the pic on eBay. Well if you already have the gnome, forest face, and gourd you can complete your transition into the creepiest person on earth with a collection of random people in UK gear. Own this photo for 5.98.
Well that’s it for this edition. Though rejoice soon Nerlens Noel will arrive on campus and there is sure to be several flat top/blocking related merchandise produced. Until next time, buyer beware.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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