Kentucky Sports Radio
[Moderated by Matt Jones, Drew Franklin and Tyler Thompson]
[Moderated by Matt Jones, Drew Franklin and Tyler Thompson]
Hello Friends. I hope you’re well on this sunny Friday (note: your current weather may not apply). You’re looking dapper today. Hitting the clubs tonight?
I guess it makes sense that you are. After all, with the wealth of pool parties and bar patios rolling for the summer, you’re bound to be on the prowl. If so, your ol’ pal Tomlin would like to help. You see, I’ve recently just watched Steve Harvey’s Think Like a Man upwards of eleven times since I purchased it on DVD in the checkout line at my local grocery store, so I think I know a thing or two about a thing or two. But you’re not here to get my input on things. That’s why I recently touched base with some of our nation’s most well-known sports personalities to get their take on making a connection with the opposite sex, and in turn each provided me with their “no-fail,” guaranteed pick-up lines for you to use this summer on the respective apples of your respective eyes. I’ve listed a few below in a piece we’ll call Pick-Up Lines of the Stars, and I hope you can glean a little something for yourselves out of the information. And please feel absolutely free to share some of your favorite sports pickup lines below as well. As always, I hope you have a great weekend, and enjoy.
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Tom Brady: “Know what would look good on you? Me. Also probably a gentle exfoliator for your t-zone. Do you use one of those? Oh, you really should.”
Rex Ryan: “Those shoes look awfully uncomfortable.”
Tiger Woods: “Want to go back to my house? I’m just going to need you to sign here, initial here and here, and sign here.”
Craig Sager: “You and I go together like a yellow plaid jacket, purple striped tie, red shirt and green pants.”
Mike Anderson: “You’ve heard of ‘forty minutes of hell.’ Are you ready for up to two minutes and forty-five seconds of heaven?”
Preston Knowles: “Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes. And did he take my hairbrush? He’ll pay for that. And for stealing stars.”
Joakim Noah: “So…how would you really like to get back at your parents?”
Kevin Stallings: “I’ve been watching you from across the bar all night, and I was wondering — are you going to finish those cheese fries?”
Justin Blackmon: “I hope you have a driver’s license, because you’re driving me crazy. Seriously, though, do you have a driver’s license? I could use a lift home.”
Chane Behanan: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together. I’d probably put together O, C and Q too, because they all look kind of similar and I get them mixed up a lot.”
James Harden: “Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Also, it could be my ridiculous beard.”
Tim Tebow: “Wanna get married?”
Mark Sanchez: “We have so much in common. I hate algebra too!”
Alex Legion: “Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and just tell her I met the girl of my dreams. Then she’ll decide whether I should date you or not.”
Mike Krzyzewski: “You know what they say about the size of a man’s shoe contract.”
Jonathan Quick: “How would you like to go back to my place and see the Stanley Cup? No, it’s a trophy. For hockey. Yeah, I play hockey. Well, it’s a game on the ice with some sticks and, you know, never mind.”
Tom Crean: “Why don’t we get out of here and go to my place? Or are you TOO SCARED?”
Rick Pitino: (points to his target’s groin) “I hear this place has excellent seafood.”
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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June 15th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
HA!
June 15th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Coach Cal: Would you be interested in joining our 2012 recruiting class? Or perhaps changing your class if you’re not already in the 2012 class?
June 15th, 2012 at 1:11 pm
This is great
June 15th, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Thanks Ricky P, I just had lunch!
June 15th, 2012 at 1:12 pm
The Tom Crean line takes the cake…. +1,000 interwebz points
June 15th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Nice work Tomlin…
June 15th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
This is great. More like this and less F-ball please.
June 15th, 2012 at 1:14 pm
IMHO, you just don’t come across recruiting specialists like Mathew Hays every day of the week.
His keen insight on the 2012 recruiting class keeps me coming back time and time again.
June 15th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
“And for stealing stars.” Made my week. Thank you Tomlin. Killing it.
June 15th, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Your work is now worse than a 2nd grader who just got a new box of crayons.
C.M. Tomlin: “Hey, you want to get together? I color in between the lines mostly for KSR.”
June 15th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Seafood ? Got any crotch crappie ?
June 15th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Those were hilarious!!
June 15th, 2012 at 1:34 pm
lol at the Crean line.
June 15th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Great stuff Tomlin. Who is Johnathan Quick and what is hockey?
June 15th, 2012 at 1:46 pm
Nice Tomlin, nice!
June 15th, 2012 at 1:47 pm
Drew Franklin – I would drag my balls through a mile of glass, just to hear you squeak a taco bell fart through a walky talkie.
Matt Jones – Are you Kate Upton? No? I wish you were. Will you wear this Kate Upton mask?
June 15th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
The Rick Pitino one was great! Saved the best for last.
June 15th, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Tom Crean is the male version of Princess Fiona from Shek..check that nose out
June 15th, 2012 at 1:51 pm
Want some candy?
June 15th, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Hey Sandusky, say hello to your new daddys and may your showers be enjoyable.
June 15th, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Hilarious post as per usual. Tomlin, mind teaching Corey how to write?
June 15th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
This might sound stupid, but what’s the pickup line from chane benahan mean? What are those letters supposed to spell?
June 15th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
You forgot cal’s line. ” I am the needle!! Wait, isn’t that a good thing?”
June 15th, 2012 at 5:45 pm
Hahahaha. The Ricky P one is pure gold.
June 15th, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Billy Gillispie- I’m not drunk I am just intoxicated by your love; ok maybe I’m a little drunk.
June 15th, 2012 at 6:12 pm
JJ Redick- If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
June 15th, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Ryan Kelly (Poop tooth)- Here’s $10. Drink until I look really cute.
June 15th, 2012 at 6:30 pm
The trufth- is your puter running? CLOWN!
June 16th, 2012 at 5:32 am
One of the funniest things I’ve ever read!!! Seriously!!! Especially the Pitino line. Hilarious!!! Well done!!!
June 16th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Nicely done, Tomlin.
June 16th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
As a UK fan I find thid article childish (no doubt this comment will raise hatefull comments at me) because winners don’t make stupid articles like this & post them…that’s what our less fortunate victim’s job as jelousy makes people lash out like this…I mean are the Wildcats fanbase really that unclassy?
June 17th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
#31…more grammar/spelling errors in one comment that I can ever remember. Congrats!