Alright, so they’re delicious, but still. That’s not something you go around admitting.
If you’re like any Blue-blooded Kentucky fan, you get riled up whenever Duke loses. Or even gets close to losing. Or falls flat on their collective faces when they lose to a 15 seed in the first round. I really don’t know why that is at this point; last time we played in the NCAA tournament, we came out on top en route to a National Championship. I think we can all agree that, while we don’t like Coach K, he’s a good coach, and seems to not have the trouble following him that a lot of big-name guys do (i.e. Boeheim, Calhoun, etc.). So it should be water under the bridge. But it’s not. We still just don’t. Like. Duke. Any opportunity to give them a hard time is, in my opinion, a golden opportunity.
So it’s with great zeal that I bring you this latest article from ESPN, titled: “Brian Zoubek, cream puff connoisseur.” For those of you who may have forgotten who Brian Zoubek is, you’re in good company. Most NBA GMs have, too. Let me refresh your memory: he’s the big, goofy looking white guy that gets almost nothing but charge calls and garbage shots. No, not Mason Plumlee. Not Miles Plumlee, either. Stay away from the Plumlees for a minute. This guy is easy to root against. Know who I’m talking about? No, that’s Kyle Singler. Alright, I get it. There are lot of flopping, goofy looking white guys that played for Duke. But this one had a beard. Got it now? Good.
Because he’s opening up a cream puff business in New Jersey. Really. I can’t even make this up. When asked why, he responded that he “want[s] to prove [himself] in something other than sports.”
Of particular interest is the phrase “other than sports.” I could be wrong, but I think he skipped a step there. Don’t you have to prove yourself in sports, before proving yourself in something other than sports? That’s like me saying I picked up learning piano so that I could prove myself in something other than supersymmetric quantum mechanics. He may have been better at basketball than I am at quantum physics, but barely. Point is, you don’t see Anthony Davis taking time to prove himself in something other than sports. Hobbies are for after you retire. Pick up a harmonica and change the world then, for all I care.
So the next time y0u’re in Jersey, I think we can all safely assume that you made a mistake somewhere with your directions, or you got abducted by human traffickers. But if you have a spare moment, stop by Brian Zoubek’s cream puff shop, “Dream Puffz.” It’s okay though, because he won’t actually be making the cream puffs. He’ll just be eating them awkwardly while staring at
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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