It’s blurry because the auto-focus doesn’t recalibrate for uncontrollable laughter.
I’ve always been a big proponent of minor league baseball, and promotional nights are the best times to go. If you’re in Kentucky, check out one of the teams around you and give it a shot; you might be lucky enough to stumble onto a special occasion.
Such was the case tonight as the Appalachian Power fell to the Kannapolis Intimidators 5-3. The real story of the game, though, was the theme for the evening: “Redneck Night”. Now before you go making jokes about how that’s not different than any other night watching a ball game in West Virginia, you should know that the selling points for Redneck Night were: The World’s Strongest Redneck; an actual, legitimate, Redneck Wedding (complete with honeymoon at the Charleston Ramada Inn); and, my personal favorite, Cowboy Monkey Rodeo. Yes, it’s monkeys, riding dogs, herding goats. And it’s exactly as amazing as you can imagine, if not more. Even better than the rodeo itself was the motivational speech given afterward encouraging kids to “follow their dreams.” Assuming, of course, those dreams consist of making monkeys do things they wouldn’t normally do. I think that’s a pretty standard ambition. But you heard the message kids: don’t ever let anybody tell you that you can’t herd goats with monkeys. Because you totally can. Monkeys love riding things.
On to the news.
-Kentucky Baseball is out of the SEC tournament after losing 2-1 to Mississippi State. You could be upset that the Cats got the short end of the stick playing a team that they’d beaten earlier in the tournament, while maintaining a spot in the “winner’s bracket,” and losing to a team that already had a loss. Doesn’t seem fair that the new format allows for a team to be eliminated in one game by a team that already has a loss, but the bottom line is you’ve got to win the games that you play. Seems simple, but remember Rule #76: “No excuses. Play like a champion.”
-Mike DeCourcy puts the Basketball Cats at the Number 5 spot in an early preseason poll, three spots behind the UCLA Bruins. At least it won’t take us long to move up to #4 in his poll.
-Rajon Rondo is the best player on the Celtics, and maybe the best point guard in the league. His triple-double tonight (18-10-10) led Boston past Philly in a win-or-go-home game seven. He is absolutely ridiculous. Now the Celtics will take on the Heat for the honor to lose to Tim Duncan in the NBA finals. I know one future Cat is excited:
Let’s goo C’s !! To the eastern conference finals babyy !
— Nerlens Noel (@NerlensNoel3) May 27, 2012
-Eric Quigley has earned yet another accolade by moving on to the Final Four of the NCAA singles tournament. Hear that ladies? He’s single. Or at least that’s how I interpret it.
-Duke lacrosse lost to Maryland in the national semifinals tonight. The Terps will play Loyola Marymount for the championship. Screw Duke.
-Finally, Adam Zagoria took some time out of his busy tweet schedule to inform us of how famous Aerosmith hit “Walk This Way” got its name:
I’m reading Steven Tyler’s autobiography and he says “Walk This Way” was named after the famous Marty Feldman scene in “Young Frankenstein.”
— Adam Zagoria (@AdamZagoria) May 26, 2012
There’s no news there, I just really like Young Frankenstein.
Stick around tomorrow, we’ll be around all day to get you through this hot-as-heck Memorial Day Weekend. Until then, keep cool and sleep naked.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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