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May 26, 2012

Cowboy Monkey Rodeo’s News and Views

by @ 11:07 pm. Filed under Blue Blooded Opinions

It’s blurry because the auto-focus doesn’t recalibrate for uncontrollable laughter.

I’ve always been a big proponent of minor league baseball, and promotional nights are the best times to go.  If you’re in Kentucky, check out one of the teams around you and give it a shot; you might be lucky enough to stumble onto a special occasion.

Such was the case tonight as the Appalachian Power fell to the Kannapolis Intimidators 5-3.  The real story of the game, though, was the theme for the evening: “Redneck Night”.  Now before you go making jokes about how that’s not different than any other night watching a ball game in West Virginia, you should know that the selling points for Redneck Night were: The World’s Strongest Redneck; an actual, legitimate, Redneck Wedding (complete with honeymoon at the Charleston Ramada Inn); and, my personal favorite, Cowboy Monkey Rodeo.  Yes, it’s monkeys, riding dogs, herding goats.  And it’s exactly as amazing as you can imagine, if not more.  Even better than the rodeo itself was the motivational speech given afterward encouraging kids to “follow their dreams.”  Assuming, of course, those dreams consist of making monkeys do things they wouldn’t normally do.  I think that’s a pretty standard ambition.  But you heard the message kids: don’t ever let anybody tell you that you can’t herd goats with monkeys.  Because you totally can.  Monkeys love riding things.

On to the news.

 

-Kentucky Baseball is out of the SEC tournament after losing 2-1 to Mississippi State.  You could be upset that the Cats got the short end of the stick playing a team that they’d beaten earlier in the tournament, while maintaining a spot in the “winner’s bracket,” and losing to a team that already had a loss.  Doesn’t seem fair that the new format allows for a team to be eliminated in one game by a team that already has a loss, but the bottom line is you’ve got to win the games that you play.  Seems simple, but remember Rule #76: “No excuses. Play like a champion.”  

-Mike DeCourcy puts the Basketball Cats at the Number 5 spot in an early preseason poll, three spots behind the UCLA Bruins.  At least it won’t take us long to move up to #4 in his poll.

-Rajon Rondo is the best player on the Celtics, and maybe the best point guard in the league.  His triple-double tonight (18-10-10) led Boston past Philly in a win-or-go-home game seven.  He is absolutely ridiculous.  Now the Celtics will take on the Heat for the honor to lose to Tim Duncan in the NBA finals.  I know one future Cat is excited:

-Eric Quigley has earned yet another accolade by moving on to the Final Four of the NCAA singles tournament.  Hear that ladies?  He’s single.  Or at least that’s how I interpret it.

-Duke lacrosse lost to Maryland in the national semifinals tonight.  The Terps will play Loyola Marymount for the championship.  Screw Duke.

-Finally, Adam Zagoria took some time out of his busy tweet schedule to inform us of how famous Aerosmith hit “Walk This Way” got its name:

There’s no news there, I just really like Young Frankenstein.

 

Stick around tomorrow, we’ll be around all day to get you through this hot-as-heck Memorial Day Weekend.  Until then, keep cool and sleep naked.

19 Responses to “Cowboy Monkey Rodeo’s News and Views”

  1. MattLauerCanSuckIt Says:

    West Virginia Power, not the Appalachian Power.

  2. stinky Says:

    what a stinky bad blog. good lord

  3. Craven Says:

    What knockers!

  4. Corey Nichols Says:

    3- sank you, doctor.

  5. Colonel Duke Lacrosse Says:

    We’re gonna come around at twelve
    With some Puerto Rican girls that are just dyin’ to meet you.

  6. Carolina Blue is past tense for CAROLINA BLOWS Says:

    SnNH says he prefers to punch the monkey.

  7. burger Says:

    I didn’t read this post because I know it had to suck coming from Corey.

    When’s that going to change Corey?

  8. HicksPickSix Says:

    Please, Corey, keep on talking about the NBA! You’ve clearly displayed your knowledge on the sport in past posts, and your credibility as a blogger is at an all time high! You’ve got a strong career as a writer ahead of you, and the only reason you get criticism is because you fit the “BTI role”! You’re a law student; clearly you know SO much more than your audience!

  9. dave Says:

    “Duke lacrosse lost to Maryland in the national semifinals tonight. The Terps will play Loyola Marymount for the championship.”

    you can file that under who gives a s***

  10. Women Everywhere Says:

    Stay close to the candles. The staircase… can be treacherous.

  11. bigbill992001 Says:

    Does anyone else miss The Chimp Channel?

  12. sean Says:

    9. fu<k you dave… you redneck bass-terd

  13. buggy Says:

    let me sleep so my teeth won’t grind

  14. SexnNursinHomes Says:

    6- not only punch that monkey, but also give it a Purple Nurple. Monkeys love tittie twisters

  15. barn Says:

    3–thank you guvnah

  16. gary Says:

    9- Loyola Maryland might care, since that’s who is playing, not Maramount.

  17. coreys Says:

    what a friggin’ waste of time

  18. lightning Says:

    Give me the Thunder in 7

  19. jaxcats8503 Says:

    What a worthless post. Matt Jones makes mistakes with writers and this was one of them.

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