Hello, friends. And happy Friday. As we dive headlong into the summer months, lets face it: there’s not a lot going on. Outside of the fact that the baseball team (go Cats), the softball team (go Cats) and the tennis team (go Cats) are still playing, there’s just not a lot going on on the basketball or football front. And we here at KSR know where our bread is buttered. We do love buttered bread. So outside of editorial cartoons gone awry and the fact that we may see players named Amile and Julius on the team in the near future, the latter which I think we can all agree would make us sound very European, there’s simply not much news right now. So to keep us away from brutally mocking kids who didn’t come to UK, let’s look today at What Your UK Gear Says About You. Just for fun. No biggie. No one’s making you read it. So, shall we? We shall.
T-Shirt Reading “National Champions”: I bought a t-shirt celebrating the NCAA Victory in the last month.
T-Shirt Reading “National Champons”: I bought a t-shirt celebrating the NCAA Victory in the last month from a discount outlet.
Denim Button-Down with UK Logo: Someone gave me this shirt for a birthday or Christmas.
Sweater Vest with UK Logo: I am both a prominent Lexington doctor and a UK fan.
UK Polo Bought at Dawahare’s: I have not purchased UK gear since 2008.
UK Polo Bought at Hill’s: I have not purchased UK gear since Ronald Reagan was president.
UK Cheerleader Uniform: I am a five year-old girl.
Allen Edwards Jersey: I am Allen Edwards.
Blue Spandex Suit: I am using my UK fandom as an excuse to wear a spandex suit.
Necklace with Flashing Blue Lights: I’m totally drunk right now.
UK Tank Top: I often listen to basketball games on the radio while cleaning a gun.
UK-Themed Couch: I have disposable income to spend on a UK-themed couch.
UK Visor: I often wear my Oakleys indoors.
UK Logo Curtains: I don’t have a lot of visitors at my home.
True Blue Fan Button: Someone gave me this for free and I’m just going to wear it.
Cardigan Featuring any Combination of a Logo, Wildcat, Basketball or Hoop: I am a retired schoolteacher and proud grandmother.
Face-painted Paw Print On Cheek: I am either a young child or a divorced hairdresser.
Player Jersey with No T-Shirt Beneath: You will not want to sit next to me at a basketball game.
Extremely Tight Women’s T-Shirt: My husband bought me this to show off my boobs to his friends.
UK Mesh Basketball Shorts (kids’ size): I want to play basketball for the Wildcats some day.
UK Mesh Basketball Shorts (men’s adult size): I want to play basketball in my local YMCA league this coming November.
UK Snuggie: I eat a lot of ice cream directly from the container. A lot.
Blue Wig: I am over forty, “crazy,” and my friends secretly think I drink too much.
Top Hat: I have season tickets in the lower level of Rupp Arena.
Have any to add? Have at it below. And have a great weekend, gang.
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Bill Keightley Report : Never to be forgotten.
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