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Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Friday News and Views


My senior year of high school at Middlesboro High was relatively boring. I had taken most of the classes that could be offered, was finishing up my athletic career with mediocre seasons in golf and tennis (I had already given up basketball due to general awfulness) and I was ready to go off to college in a city where all the restaurants did not close by 10 pm. But during this time one of my teachers (Mrs. Wilson) put me on an independent study where I would spend a hour in the library lying on the beanbags and reading various novels that she picked out. At first I thought the class would be the best thing ever because of how restful it would be, but in the end it became one of my favorites because of the world it introduced me to. As part of this class, I read the works of the great novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who passed away on Thursday at the age of 87. Marquez is considered one of top handful of novelists of the 20th century, but at the time for me, he was just a name I had recited so I could win academic team competitions (I told you I was a really cool high schooler). However during that year, I read “100 Years of Solitude” and “Love in the Time of Cholera” and immediately loved both books. The stories were unlike anything I had ever before encountered and the language, even having been altered through translation, was vivid and beautiful. I looked forward to the hour every day when I could open the book and get taken away to Marquez’s created worlds and those reading experiences helped introduce me to a canon of literature that I would have never otherwise taken the time to encounter. Marquez died of cancer complications today, having lived a full life mixed in the worlds of literature and politics. If you get a chance some time, check out the two novels I first encountered on a Middlesboro High School library bean bag a number of years ago, and who knows, maybe you will find them just as enjoyable (or maybe not and you can still watch a marathon of “Party Down South” instead).

Three stories as we close out the week of my return to the night post:


I expected us to get one decision from a player this week and it came today as James Young announced he would be entering the NBA Draft. This is probably the least surprising decision of anyone making the call this year, in large part because of James himself. While Young is a great kid and has the potential to be a very good NBA player, school just wasn’t something he particularly loved. Those around the program knew that Young was unlikely to stay more than one year, not because he didn’t love Kentucky or being a Cat, but because he wasn’t interested in being in school for any longer than necessary. While that makes some people frustrated, I have no problem with kids pursuing whatever the dream is, even if it doesn’t involve Sociology 101.

Kentucky will miss Young, but I actually think he will showcase more of his skills in the NBA than in college IF he is willing to work (and this is a big if). Young may have the best offensive game of anyone on the team. He can shoot relatively well but is explosive off the dribble and can finish well at the rim. I don’t think we saw nearly as much of his ability in this area as he has, in large part because it just wasn’t what this team needed and they already had two other players in the Twins who were driving more often. Young is not a great defender (although he could be if he works) and is a terrible passer (and I dont know if that will get much better). But he does have the potential to get buckets in the league in bulk IF he puts in the work. All I worry about for James is that he showcases he loves basketball and that he is willing to be like Brandon Knight, MKG and others and put in the hours to get better. If he does, I think he will be a starter/6th man in the league. If he doesn’t then he could bounce around and not be effective. It is up to him. Either way however, I think this is the right decision for James and the NBA game will suit his set of skills well.


While Julius Randle, Dakari Johnson and Alex Poythress are still left to make a decision, nearly all the focus from fans has been on the Harrison Twins. Part of that is because they seem like the biggest unknown, but part is because of the realization that their decision is the most important. Because Kentucky’s roster makeup is now so big-heavy (especially with the Willie Cauley-Stein decision), the Twins could hold the keys to the potential for a very big season. A UK backcourt without them only has three guards on the entire roster (Ulis, Booker and Hawkins). With them however, you go five deep and potentially have a 12 player bench that is quite formidable. I would argue getting the two of them back would be even bigger than the pipe dream of getting Randle back. They can improve by leaps and bounds and if they do, the team has amazing potential. Chad Ford of ESPN today said that the Twins are now leaning towards returning (he said they were leaving 36 hours ago) and that they would make a decision Tuesday or Wednesday. As I have said all along, I believe no one when it comes to Twins “scoop” because I think those that are talking about what they are going to do, aren’t part of the decision making process. If you made me guess, I would guess they return, but that (along with all the other opinions you see out there) is just a guess. But man…if they come back…whoa…


This will actually be an action-packed summer around UK’s basketball world. Calipari has another couple of weeks of promoting his book and then he is having hip replacement surgery on May 2. That will probably keep him out of activities for about a month and thus this could be one of the quieter Mays that we have ever had. But then recruiting will be huge this summer with the possibility of the 2015 class being the first that could end up with a two year rule by the NBA. If that happens, 2015 guys are even more valuable and the recruiting done this summer by Calipari, Kenny Payne and the new assistant (presumably Slice Rohrssen) is of tremendous importance. Kentucky will also get a summer trip and regardless of where it is, it will likely be timed somewhere in mid August. That will give the Cats a few weeks or practice before the trip and then 3-4 games on the trip. This new team gets all of that time to work out together and it will be a huge step towards creating team chemistry early on. We saw how important that was this year when the Twins and James Young were not able to get here early, and thus this is a very positive step. We have been used to summer offseasons with little news in the last couple of years…you may get a slight break in May, but after that, this summer will be action packed.

That is all for now…we hit the radio thing again in the morning and then head for a weekend of rest before the decisions of next week. Cross your fingers as I do feel good about where we are headed…

Future Cats Asking Current Players to Stay

Future Cats Asking Current Players to Stay


The UK backcourt of the future

John Calipari told the media today an interesting anecdote that tells volumes about the players coming into UK next season. He said that the incoming Freshman have been calling the current players asking them to stay. Calipari used it as an example of their “team first” attitude and while he didn’t specify which players were making the calls, the fact that any are doing so says a lot.

This group coming in is very different than any we have seen at Kentucky. They aren’t the freak athletes we often see, but they are all very skilled and great team players. With Tyler Ulis telling KSTV that he hopes Andrew Harrison returns, Karl Towns saying the same about Willie Cauley-Stein and Trey Lyles hoping that he can play with Alex Poythress, we have the potential to see something special in Lexington next season.

Former Northern Kentucky Athletic Director Admits to Stealing $311,000

Former Northern Kentucky Athletic Director Admits to Stealing $311,000


Former Northern Kentucky University Athletic Director Scott Eaton seemed to be on quite the roll. Under his leadership, NKU made the transition into Division I and the school has risen dramatically in prestige in the athletic community. But things have fallen apart. He was fired last year from the University for “inappropriate relationships” with employees and a student and now the hammer has hit again. Eaton has admitted to stealing over $311,000 from the University over the course of six years. His method of stealing was to use the NKU credit card, charge various items and then keep the proceeds for himself. The largest use was to buy over $262,000 in Kroger gift cards, all of which he spent on himself. He was caught after an audit of his practices following his dismissal from the University and now he faces the possibility of criminal charges.

Not exactly the type of ending to Eaton’s career he had to have imagined. But the question for me…how did he spend $262,000 in Kroger gift cards? I know its six years, but that seems like a lot of groceries, especially since they were gift cards to the store itself. My man likes to eat…

UPDATE: Just tonight, Eaton accepted a plea deal of ten years in state prison. In this case, it did not pay to go Krogering…

Anthony Davis in Louisville Tickets On Sale Tomorrow

Anthony Davis in Louisville Tickets On Sale Tomorrow

anthony davis

pic by Getty Images

The NBA Playoffs are just beginning on Saturday and I am actually excited. There are a number of solid matchups and this year we will see more UK guys in the playoffs than in recent years, including the first appearances by guys like John Wall, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and Patrick Patterson. But next year, Anthony Davis and Darius Miller are headed to Louisville for a preseason game that you probably would like to see. The Pelicans are playing the Heat in the Yum Center and the chance to see Davis, Miller and Lebron is certainly worth your time. Tickets actually GO ON SALE TOMORROW as part of a pre-sale code that is for basketball fans in the area. You can buy tickets tomorrow at the link below, using the code “NBAYUM” from 10 am to 10 pm. The seating chart is below the link and the best tickets are available now. So go ahead and get them and go see Lebron, Anthony and the boys and bring some blue to the Yum Center:



Eight former ‘Cats to compete in NBA Playoffs

Eight former ‘Cats to compete in NBA Playoffs

NBA 'Cats


The first-round matchups of the NBA Playoffs are set, and eight former players from the University of Kentucky will be part of the action. In the Western Conference, the 4th seeded Houston Rockets and starting power forward Terrence Jones will be taking on the 5th seeded Portland Trail Blazers. Game 1 will tip off Sunday, April 20 at 9:30 p.m. on TNT. Former NBA Champion Tayshaun Prince and the 7th seeded Memphis Grizzles will face the 2nd seeded Oklahoma City Thunder. Game 1 begins Saturday, April 19 at 9:30 p.m. on ESPN.


In the Eastern Conference, the 3rd seeded Toronto Raptors and teammates Patrick Patterson and Chuck Hayes will meet Marquis Teague and his 6th seeded Brooklyn Nets. Game 1 starts Saturday, April 19 at 12:30 p.m. on ESPN. Nazr Mohammed’s 4 seed Chicago Bulls will face the 5th seeded Washington Wizards, led by superstar John Wall. Game 1 tips off Sunday, April 20 at 7:00 p.m. on TNT. Lastly, former No. 2 overall draft pick Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and the 7 seed Charlotte Bobcats will take on the defending champion 2 seed Miami Heat in only the Bobcats’ seconds playoff appearance in franchise history. Catch Game 1 on Sunday, April 20 at 3:30 p.m. on ABC.


The complete bracket for the 2014 NBA Playoffs looks as follows:


Image via /u/LinuxUser4Life

Click image to zoom | Image via /u/LinuxUser4Life


96 Conclusion Logo



This Florida fan’s parody of “Royals” is just…no.

Lorde’s hit song “Royals” has gotten the parody treatment from just about everyone, including a group of Kentucky fans and Fake Barney. A Florida fan decided to give it a shot too, even shooting some of the scenes inside The Swamp. You’ll have to see it to believe it. I’m not sure I can ever look at Gatorade the same way.

Fake Barney FTW:

Coach Brumbaugh is mic’d up for the latest KyWildcatsTV spring practice video

Our pals at KyWildcatsTV have done an excellent job bringing us the sights and sounds of spring practice so far, and today, they released the video with defensive line coach Jimmy Brumbaugh on the mic. Enjoy.

Photo @tvabby

Rajon Rondo honored victims of the Boston Marathon bombing with his shoes last night



Rajon Rondo sat out last night’s game against the Washington Wizards with a strained hamstring, but he did find an unique way to honor the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing. To honor the one-year anniversary of the bombing, Rondo wore a custom pair of shoes printed with the date and “Boston Strong” embroidered on the tongue, and the victims’ initials printed on the body of the shoe. He said he’ll donate the kicks to One Fund, a charity designed to help the victims.

Good on ya, Rajon.

Jodie Meeks set to graduate from UK in May

(Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

(Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

One of the things Cal prides himself and the program on is the number of players who leave early, but return to finish their degrees. Although he didn’t play under Cal, Jodie Meeks is one of those players. According to Lakers beat reporter Mike Trudell, Meeks is on track to graduate from UK in May after working towards his degree during offseasons.

Meeks is now a free agent, but told Trudell he hopes he’ll be back in LA next season: “I’m not sure. I want to be back. I loved playing here. We’ll see how the draft and free agency goes.” Meeks was one of the few bright spots for the Lakers this season, averaging a career-best 15.6 points per game, almost double his average last season.

Keep making us proud, Jodie.

UK a second choice for several 2014 stars

The 2014 recruiting class was the first in which John Calipari didn’t land most of the elite players he went after. Don’t get me wrong, the players he did sign are excellent, but several of the superstar prospects like Emmanuel Mudiay, Stanley Johnson, and Jahlil Okafor all decided to take their services elsewhere. During the McDonald’s All-American game a few weeks ago, USA Today’s Jason Jordan went around and asked some of the players what their second choice school was. For once, many of them said Kentucky. Here’s a breakdown:

Rashad Vaughn (UNLV): Iowa State

Devin Booker (Kentucky): Missouri

James Blackmon (Indiana): Kentucky (Think he regrets choosing the Hoosiers now?)

Kelly Oubre (Kansas): Kentucky

Stanley Johnson (Arizona): Kentucky

Emmanuel Mudiay (SMU): Kentucky

Mudiay’s comments were the most interesting to me. He said that during Cal’s in-home visit, he and his family liked what he had to say so much that he was ready to commit on the spot. His brother advised him to wait, and during Larry Brown’s visit, the legendary coach “talked way better than Cal did.”

Well, Cal does consider him a mentor.

Photo REUTERS/Chris Keane

Frank Haith on his way to Tulsa? UPDATE: He’s gone

Photo REUTERS/Chris Keane

Photo REUTERS/Chris Keane

Things just got a little more interesting on the SEC basketball coaching carousel. ESPN’s Jeff Goodman is reporting that Missouri’s Frank Haith is in talks with Tulsa to become their new head coach.

Last season, the Tigers had the talent to make the tournament but underachieved all year, putting heat on Haith after his third season in Columbia. Haith has also had to deal with problems off the court, dismissing Louisville transfer Zach Price after a teammate filed an order of protection against him. Price was suspended indefinitely from Missouri on April 3 after being arrested on suspicion of domestic assault and assault.

Now, which is the better job: Tennessee or Missouri? I say Missouri.

UPDATE: Multiple outlets are reporting that Haith has accepted the job at Tulsa.

Chad Ford thinks the Twins are considering coming back now, will decide Tuesday or Wednesday

Chad Ford thinks the Twins are considering coming back now, will decide Tuesday or Wednesday


A few days ago, ESPN NBA Insider Chad Ford said that the Harrison Twins have been talking to agents about their draft stock but didn’t like the feedback they were getting. Today, he tweets that the feedback is pushing them to consider coming back to UK, with a decision coming on Tuesday or Wednesday:


Getty Images

James Young will enter the NBA Draft


(Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

As expected, UK has just announced that James Young will forgo his sophomore season and enter the NBA Draft. From the press release, here are James’ remarks:

“My time at Kentucky has been special to me, something I’ll always treasure, but I feel that I’m ready to take the next step to the NBA,” Young said. “I’ve learned more this year, on and off the court, about life from Coach Cal and the staff and appreciate all of their guidance and support. I can’t say enough about my teammates; the journey helped us build a bond that we will always share for the rest of our lives.  I would like to thank the best fans in the country, the Big Blue Nation, and I hope you guys will continue to support me as I move on. I will always bleed blue. Succeed and Proceed!”

Coach Cal says he’s excited for James, and thankful for his effort:

“I’m excited for James and his family and the decision he’s come to,” head coach John Calipari said. “From day one, the NBA people who came to our practices in the preseason raved about him. He’s done everything we’ve asked of him all season, investing himself in his brothers for the betterment of the team, and I think we all saw the end result in the tournament and Final Four. Whatever team drafts James is not only getting a superb athlete, they are getting the ultimate teammate.”

Best of luck to James. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat.

Cal Hits the Talk Show Circuit

Cal Hits the Talk Show Circuit


This week Cal took to the road to promote his new book Players First: Coaching from the Inside Out, and he left no stone unturned in getting the word out. As he continues to promote his book and talk about his signature coaching style, we’ve collated some of his sound bites from those interviews below.

Morning Joe (MSNBC):
“It starts with recruiting. I tell [players] You’re not taking thirty shots if you come here, because you’re going to have other players who are just as good as you. The most anyone takes historically for my teams is thirteen, fourteen shots….I can’t promise you’re gonna start, how many minutes you’re going to get, all those things. But I’ve started something like thirty freshman in my time, or more now, and it all starts with recruiting.”


Squawk Box (CNBC):
“People ask me ‘how do you do this? How do you get a new group of freshman year after year, how do you teach this?’ And the thing is, teaching them the grind. How hard it is. Teaching them about servant leadership, which is hard when every player on the team was the star. They never thought about everybody else — now I’m asking ‘please think more about everybody else.'”


The O’Reilly Factor (FOX News):
“That’s what this book is about. They know that iIm about them and the decisions i make are in their interest, not my own, which is why I have a lot of kids leaving. I’m not influencing them to stay…that’s a big part of this. Do they trust you enough? Do they look at you and say he is going to do right by me? I have got to let them make their decisions.”


The Dr. Oz Show:
“This book is all about…look, here’s what it’s about. If I eat, you know, a jellybean, or swallow a piece of gum, it might get hung up in my intestines or my colon for three, four days. I’m holding it back. I’m not letting it go forward. But if I’m constantly eating things like cabbage, lettuce — those things are going to ultimately leave and it’s going to be better for everybody, you know, a positive outcome. You can’t be the colon that’s holding things back. You put good into your program, you get good out. Sometimes it happens faster than others.”


The View (ABC):
“What this book is about it, well, look. It’s about servant leadership. It’s leadership from the inside. If my wife Ellen is used to doing everything around the house herself, that’s no good for her. She’s got me, you know, a teammate. And I’ve gotta be like ‘Look, these shoes need to get out of the hall before someone trips over them.’ So what do I do? I move the shoes. In the same vein Ellen and I also have to work as a team, we also have to trust each other. We work hard together and then, you know, we go to the Olive Garden, then, you know, maybe Orange Leaf.  It’s the reward that comes with being part of that team.”


Watch What Happens Live (Bravo):
“Listen, what this book is about…it’s about…look, it’s like, you can’t have Brandi and Joyce having a fight right in the middle of SUR, you know? It just doesn’t work. Joyce thinks Brandi’s tacky. Brandi thinks Joyce is using Michael. It’s whatever. At the end of the day, they’ve both got to be able to share the catwalk if Kyle’s fashion show is going to go well, you know? Those are the sacrifices you make. And what you need is a Yolanda, who’s just going to take the initiative and stand up and drag Brandi away from the table. But you also need a Lisa, and a Ken, who’ll help defend Brandi. That’s how it has to be. Not just one person has to step up, everyone does. That’s how a team works.”


Fresh Air (NPR):
“What this book is really about is servant leadership. It’s about leading from the inside. Look, Terry, did you see David Maisel’s ‘History’s Shadow’ show at the Yancey Richardson Gallery? That’s like, you know, what Maisel does is that he focuses on X-rays as a point of aesthetic beauty, the point at where the visual and the science of the subject intersect to explore the dual processes of memory and excavation. And you know, it’s like when you look at a team like ours — that X-ray has to show a strength from the inside, you know? That natural beauty has to first exist at an internal level. Otherwise, as a team, it’s not art, is it? I don’t know what it is but it’s not art.”
X-Play (G4):
“Look, it’s like the game Titanfall. It’s just not going to work when one guy’s got a Hammond P2011 and the guy next to him has a Plasma Railgun. You have to get on those headsets and communicate with one another. That’s the only way you sweep Angel City. And it’s the only way you win a National Championship.”


The Maury Show:
“Listen. After this break, Maury, you’re going to open that envelope. And look — it doesn’t matter if the father of Rhonda’s baby is Taz, Rick or Shondell. What matters is that these four people come together to help this child be the best it can be. Two of these guys are going to have to step up and say ‘what can I do,’ you know? That’s how a team succeeds. But it probably won’t be Dan. Dan is a straight-up buster.”

Photo Richard Mackson-US PRESSWIRE

Calipari and his wife tried to start a fund for former players’ children and the NCAA said no

Photo Richard Mackson-US PRESSWIRE

Photo Richard Mackson-US PRESSWIRE

One interesting story from John Calipari’s press conference that didn’t really fit in my recap has to do with a fund Cal said he and his wife tried to start for their former players’ kids. Cal said they wanted to put together a fund to help his former players pay for their children’s educations, but the NCAA shot it down because it would be an extra benefit:

“I presented this to the NCAA, my wife and I. We want to start a fund. We’ll fund it, we’ll put the money in. That every player that’s ever played for me, whether they be at Mass, Memphis, or Kentucky, can request a grant for their children’s education. And that fund would peel off money for that reason. And when I stop coaching 25 years later, the money that’s left in that fund would be split between Memphis, Massachusetts, and Kentucky.

What was the response? ‘It’s an extra benefit.’ My wife and I sat there and said, ‘we’ve been thinking about this for five years, this is what we want to do. So, why can’t we put $5 or $10 million in an account that peels out money that all those players that have played for me? ‘Because you’ll use it in recruiting. And you’ll have an advantage.’ Well, I won’t if 50 other coaches do the same thing. Now, if 50 of us do it, we can afford it. I’m not the only guy that’s done well and am blessed. Well, 50 of us do it. ‘That’s bad.'”

For Cal, that’s yet another “common sense problem” the NCAA has right now, and one of the reasons it’s a crumbling institution. Kids’ education? Come on now…

Eight notes from Cal’s postseason press conference

Eight notes from Cal’s postseason press conference

Screen Shot 2014-04-17 at 10.38.05 AM

John Calipari met with his favorite media friends this morning to recap his national book tour and the Cats’ season. Cal was about thirty minutes late because he was “under the weather,” (and who can blame him?) but took questions for about thirty minutes. Here’s the stuff we haven’t already heard in the past few days:

Cal had a really good day yesterday

Yesterday, Cal did a few morning shows, had lunch with Bill Clinton, and ended the day watching his former players Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and Chris Douglas-Roberts play in Charlotte. He was also able to visit with Derrick Rose, who is recovering from an injury but is still traveling with the team. “It was a good day,” Cal said.

For Cal, a big highlight of the day was the two-hour lunch with President Bill Clinton. Cal said he asked Clinton “What would you do if you were in my shoes coaching Division 1 basketball right now?,” and although he didn’t share it with reporters, Cal said the former President’s response was pretty predictable. “You could almost predict his answer because he’s always been about people.” Players first = people first.

Cal doesn’t know what the players will do

The question of the moment is which players will stay and which players will go to the NBA. Cal said he has “no idea” what the players will do, but he has talked to about 19 GMs to gather information for them. He said he’s talked to all of the players, some while they were still in Dallas, and talked to the NBA folks again yesterday to get updates. Cal said he’s being careful to give that information directly to the parents so it doesn’t get distorted along the way. “I don’t want there to be any filter,” Cal said. “Happy, sad, angry, that’s it.”

Cal was “stunned” Willie decided to come back

Like many of us, Calipari said he was “stunned” by Willie Cauley-Stein’s decision to come back to school, and said he wasn’t even considering that option for him. In fact, when he sat down with Willie to talk about his decision, he reflected on how much the talented 7-footer has grown since he’s known him. “Willie, you know when I went to your high school the first time, you had a tennis racket in your hand. The second time I went to your high school, you were playing whiffle ball. And the third time I went to your high school, you were playing kickball. I never saw you with a basketball. I saw you play two football games, where I had a 7′ cornerback/wide receiver.” Wait, Willie played wide receiver??

Cal said Willie told him this when he informed him of his decision to come back: “You know coach, I’m in no hurry to leave. I love going to school, I’m going to be closer to my degree, I still have to grow a player, and we left something on the table there that I’d like to try again.”

Cal confirmed that Willie had ankle surgery

As first reported by KSR, Cal confirmed that Willie had ankle surgery by “the best doctor in the world,” and said he’s got a month or so of recovery.

Still no final decision on the summer trip

Cal confirmed that the team will take a summer trip, but said he hasn’t decided where. “We’ll probably do something in the summer, but I haven’t made a total decision of what it will be. It’ll probably be something with the World Games.” That means the players will be going up against NBA guys, or as Cal put it, “get beat up by NBA guys.” Returning players, a month of practice in the summer, AND going against NBA competition? That puts the Cats well ahead of the curve once the season starts.

Cal’s hip surgery is scheduled for May 2nd

Cal said he’s scheduled his hip surgery for May 2nd in Lexington, and he’ll take about a month off to recover. Thank God.

“You’re old, you’re grumpy, go away.”

Cal spent the majority of the press conference rehashing his speech about how the NCAA needs to change some things. We’ve heard that A LOT the past few days, so I’ll spare you a full recap, but he did have a good quote in response to those who believe players should go to the league directly out of high school:

“The guys who say let them go out of high school, they don’t want to coach against them. It’s as simple as that,” Cal said.  “You’re old. You’re grumpy. Go away.”

He hasn’t hired an assistant yet

Despite rumblings to the contrary, Cal said he hasn’t hired an assistant coach yet. “I haven’t had time. There’s no one I’ve sat down and said, ‘I want you to do this.’ But I will. I haven’t gone through the process. I’ve called some people up. I have work to do.”

First, rest up a little, Coach.

My Guilty Pleasure: The Celebrity BFF

My Guilty Pleasure: The Celebrity BFF


It’s guilty pleasure week here at Funkhouser and what should have been a simple theme became less so because… well, I have too many. Oft times what’s considered “guilty” is code for feminine, outside of The Expendables Ocho or Cops: Kate Upton Suits Up; here’s a sampling of my own temptresses–Ellen, Miley, Scott Disick punching mirrors, UK soap Skins, knowing you were trouble when you walked in, Mean Girls, Lana Del Rey, pregnancy porn, shoplifting with Winona Ryder, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey’s combined superhuman offspring, on and on…..

But the worst one of all, my most shameful/shameless/shamesloth of afflictions–the celebrity BFF.

As with most things, I blame the Internet.

From Cleopatra to Suri Cruise, we’ve always been obsessed with “celebrity”, but in the tech age, we not only have access via OK! Magazine and Stalker Weekly, but Just Jared, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, like… they may even have Tinder, who knows? Kylie Jenner may totally ask to chat with you on there someday. I once was on Chat Roulette with Joe Jonas–true story (not a true story).

We don’t just want to emulate or live the lifestyle of our favorite celebrities, get plastic surgery to look more like Jenn Aniston, no–we want to be their besties. Take selfies with them, share Ben & Jerry’s, play never have I ever with them.

Most importantly–friendship necklaces.

Here’s my worst guilty pleasures, my most addictive of substances. My fangirl crushes.

ellie and aaron paul

Ellie Goulding — the Instagram Bestie

ellie dj

Her life is more fun than mine, and she lets me know it. Ellie Goulding–pop star, former beaux of Skrillex, every member of One Direction, is one of the most active celebrities on social media. Girl posts a pic on Instagram, which shows up automatically on her Twitter feed for those of us too dull to have Instagram,* (me) and 17 million likes and 4 million comments later–it’s on every gossip rag in the universe.

She’s doing their jobs for them.

With a voice like an angel is sleeping on her tongue, a rocking hot bod, crazy extensions (girl, that hair ain’t real), a kickass British accent, and more hipster cred than any electropop star that’s danced in a field for the duration of every music video–Ellie Goulding feels like my bestie. I mean… look at all of the intimate moments she’s shared with me. She’s posted pics of herself in cat pajamas JUST FOR ME.

Yes, I have two posters of her in my apartment and Halycon Days is in my desk at work–stop judging me. Ellie, we will be together at last in Cincinnati May 7goodness gracious I can’t seem to stop.

Anna Kendrick — the Twitter Pal

This is my social media machine. No, I don’t have a lot of followers and am annoying and not very good at it, but it’s the only one I feel truly connected to/have. And Anna Kendrick, I know it’s not right, but I feel truly connected to you as well. Guiltily so. Just like your love for Taco Bell. Of course I watched that interview, are you kidding?

She’s one of the finest celebs on the most direct line of communication between fans and celebs, whether it be twittering about awkwardness, alcohol, awkwardness, Aubrey Plaza, did I say awkwardness, other A words, or Newcastle Super Bowl ads that didn’t get made, I feel like we really get each other.

If I could get in the middle of this…. wow, that sounded wildly inappropriate. The only Twitter couple >>>>>Sir Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen.


Jennifer Lawrence — the YouTube All-Pro

THE measuring stick of celebrity–spilling a tin of Altoids makes national news. 

I realize that I took the easy way out, picking a guilty pleasure that’s basically just Buzzfeed, but hey, I’m not cool enough for jazz, so here we are.

Jennifer Lawrence is a fangirl’s dream, wish, hope, and prayer–she drives the Internet, the YouTubes, the Tumblrs; I’m not going to get into posting too much J Law nonsense here as it’s been done WAY too much. Like seriously, even I may be beginning to feel the J Law oversaturation effect–somewhat.

What truly blew J Law up was obviously the Oscars–from tripping her way to the stage to the “I just took a shot” confessional in her press conference interview–she sealed the deal as America’s sweetheart.

Her YouTube fame went from an (albeit large) cult following to legend within the evening–interview admissions of excitable urination, stalking John Stamos, hiding butt plugs under a hotel bed have only fed the fangirl flames, and my undying devotion to the J Law.


The soundtrack to Pitch Perfect can’t be the backdrop to every workday; sometimes I just need another Jennifer Lawrence funny moments compilation video #7 to get to 5 o’clock.

Perhaps we’re best friends now? Now? NOW?!!!

Thanks for deceiving me Internet. Guess I don’t have any celebrity friends or any real friends.

Guess this was inevitable.

Photo Russ Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

Archie Goodwin scores a career-high 29 points in win over the Kings

Photo Russ Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Russ Isabella-USA TODAY Sports

While the rest of us were watching Twitter for the latest updates on the players’ decisions, Archie Goodwin made them eat they feet in Sacramento, scoring 29 points in the Suns’ 104-99 win over the Kings. It was a career-high for Archie, who started the second half and scored 12 of those 29 points in the fourth quarter. The highlight? This ridiculous dunk:

Side note: Drew Franklin, currently on his California adventure, was in the stands. Does this make Drew Archie’s good luck charm?

LIVE: John Calipari’s postseason press conference

UPDATE: Cal’s been delayed, so the presser has been pushed back to about 11 a.m. I’ll leave this up so you can listen to the media whine about it.

The waiting continues… (Thursday Show Thread)


Good morning, friends, and welcome to the Thursday edition of Kentucky Sports Radio. Today, Matt and Ryan will discuss the ongoing draft decisions by UK’s players, Jalen Whitlow’s transfer, and any news that comes out of John Calipari’s 10:30 a.m. press conference (which will most likely be about his book).

Also, if you missed the news last night, Governor Steve Beshear, House Speaker Greg Stumbo, Senate President Robert Stivers, and Lexington Mayor Jim Gray have all agreed to come on KSR in a few weeks to debate the Rupp Arena funding issue, so I’m sure they’ll touch upon that as well.

Join in on the fun by calling (502) 571-1080.

Topics include:

— Harrison Twins in Orlando?

— Jalen Whitlow transferring

— The Rupp Arena debate

— Tucker Max and John Calipari???

— Much more…

Listen to Kentucky Sports Radio

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