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Why Randall Cobb is not a legitimate Heisman candidate

…because there’s no “U Can’t Touch This” video touting his candidacy.  Let’s do something about it, Cats fans!  Where have you gone Caleb Epley?

If you’ve listened to me on the UK football pre-game show on WLXG 1300 (and I know you have), you’re well aware that my non-UK SEC man crush is the big, strong-armed quarterback under center for the Arkansas Razorbacks.  Sadly, it appears that the fire that burns inside of me for Ryan Mallett is nothing at all when compared to the guys who took the time to put together this video.  Ladies and gentleman, U Can’t Touch Mallet.

Your Cobb video is due by the end of the week.

Article written by Thomas Beisner

29 responses to “Why Randall Cobb is not a legitimate Heisman candidate”

  1. mocha

    Cobb will have 3 TD’s against Florida, you heard it here first. Free Enes!

  2. Forthesakeofeducation

    Free Enes!

    UK – 24
    UF – 23

  3. Tim Tebow

    Worst. Post. Ever. (Excluding any BTI material)
    Randall Cobb could garlic my red lobster biscuit anytime.

  4. Indycatfan

    3 that’s just sick……funny as hell but never the less sick, sick, sick! ha ha ha Cats 30 UofFlounder 27

  5. P.PattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor

    free enes

  6. JClayBlows

    Sorry to disappoint you….NO MOBILITY…Lead Feet. 6’7″ 250lb QB that can make decent throws. See what he can do against BAMA with some pressure on him. Arkansas only chance is for him to throw the ball 60 times against BAMA. Hartline can make the same throws as he can and has better mobility.

    UK 28 UF 24 Cats win and we tear down the posts at the SWAMP! Urban grabs his chest and falls down to his knees and crys “Timmy, please comeback!” WildCobb will throw for two touchdowns and Locke breaks one for 60 yards….oh how sweet it is!
    GATOR MEAT, GATOR MEAT!!! I think it is GATOR season…ask the SWAMP PEOPLE. I can hear Joker screaming “shoot hem, shoot hem!!

  7. Shat Heard Across the Bluegrass

    Release Cobb and Free Enes!

  8. Zagnut

    Hour 2?

  9. Indycatfan

    6 that’s great! Hey I hear that Gay-tor meat goes for about 12 bucks a pound in the north. Pull out all the stops and let’s wild-CAT them back to the stone age Cats 30 Flo-e-dah 27…..FREE ENES!

  10. gobgblu37

    If Mallett wins the Heisman based on that video New York needs to be burned down!

  11. BPsycho

    #3 +1 for the bisquit line lol

    -100 for having “Worst Post Ever” in a Beisner comment section…

  12. LookingForward

    Cobb = He Is “the” man= Heisman!

  13. Indycatfan

    That’s almost 3 minutes I’ll never get back

  14. enes n roscoe-pico train

    Whats the word on Enes? We already know that Cobb is a star!

  15. Yalc Nhoj

    3) I always knew Tebow was kinky.



  17. Trueblue22

    If what the CJ reported is true, that girl doesn’t deserve to have a job on a men’s sports team. Talk about a think skin.

  18. Trueblue22

    thin that is.

  19. Yalc Nhoj

    Over/under on the number of times TV announcers mention Tebow during saturday’s game? As in, “That was a Tim Tebow move right there,” or “Urban is probably wishing he had his Tebow back”

  20. AllLeftistsAreEnemiesOfTheUS

    Arkansas is forever marred by association with a former gov who also became prez…

  21. BPsycho

    #20 Hey!

    Be nice naw, that ***** is my *****….


  22. Crush little red

    Among the many things wrong about that video, a) there was only one highlight and 2) those lyrics of “toured around the conference from Bama to UK” – he won’t play UK!

  23. blueballs14

    Chris Cross said “hey Beisey,…Come ova heea!!”

  24. Indycatfan

    i would let cobb butter my red lobster biscuit anytime

  25. Indycatfan

    that polson for the bball team is cute

  26. Indycatfan

    i want enes kanter

  27. wow

    tht video sucked , well tht picture show . go Cobb

  28. Ky76

    Cobb should have some sort of remix to this song….

  29. enes n roscoe-pico train

    We already know cobb is a star at Kentucky! The question that everyone wants an answer to is will Enes be a star at UK.