Let’s put this to rest once and for all: it is impossible to be a fan of both Kentucky and Louisville. I’ve met far too many people in my life who say that they root for both the Cats and the Cards. It just doesn’t work like that. There’s no way support two entities so fundamentally opposite from one another. Some of the unenlightened might try to hide behind the excuse that they root for all teams from Kentucky but that’s just cowardly. Sure, we all love when Murray State and Bellarmine play well – that’s fine. It’s even ok to feel a little sorry after knocking the Hilltoppers out of the tournament, but Louisville is a totally different animal with a totally incorrect dental scheme.
It’s hard to look for notable rivalries without conjuring up the image of good vs. evil, so for all intents and purposes let it be known: Kentucky is good and Louisville is evil. A person can’t support both good and evil. We are inherently one or the other. In the same way, we are inherently a Kentucky fan or a Louisville fan. I can only imagine the daily, tumultuous conflict waged within the soul of every person who professes to support both of the major teams from the Commonwealth. For the sake of public health, those people need to either combat their demons by choosing UK or embrace them by choosing U of L. It would be for the betterment of everyone to rid ourselves of these indecisive “fans”.
If you are the type of person that can’t pick a side in this debate then it’s probably likely that you can’t be trusted to make any real, serious decisions in your life. How could you trust a doctor to do surgery on you if they don’t have enough conviction to choose a rooting interest between Kentucky or Louisville? What about a lawyer wavering between a red tie or blue tie before representing you in a court of law? These people are living lies if they can’t even make the simple choice about which college team to support yet insist that they are productive members of society.
I implore you, if you are reading this now and live your life bearing the mantle of “dual fanhood,” please just pick a side. If you pick Kentucky, know that I’ll love you with my whole heart. You’ll be officially joining the ranks of the most passionate fanbase in the world and you won’t regret the decision for a moment. However if you want to pick Louisville, I won’t be upset. I’ll be happy to have one less degenerate posing as a Kentucky fan. That being said, please avoid the comment section. We’ve already got enough trolls as it is.