After several hours of deliberation, a Louisville jury found Karen Sypher guilty on all six counts she faced from the government. If you’re keeping track at home, that’s three counts of exortion, two counts of lying to the FBI, one count of retaliation and more oral coersion than you ever thought possible. She will now be sentenced in the next 60 days and will face 26 incarcerated years that will, most likely, not be so different than the previous 50 free ones she enjoyed on the outside. In a few regards, at least.
Meanwhile….Rick Pitino, Tim Sypher, Lester Goetzinger, Dana Kolter, Tyree Fields, the paper boy, a guy who works at your local Chevron, the infield of your after-work softball team, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff, Little Moe with the gimpy leg and anyone else who shared fluids with Karen Sypher were unanimously found guilty on charges of being disgusting. And probably need to get down to the clinic and get a good swabbing.
Matt Jones, you can come home now, friend. Your work is done.