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Hot Dog Stuffed Crust’s Friday News and Views


Ladies and gentlemen, this is what the world has come to. Yes, you’re looking at a pizza with a hot dog stuffed crust. There is no turning back now. This is it. This is the end. We should all leave our homes now and march together like extras in The Walking Dead towards the ocean where we’ll congregate and drown ourselves in the deep abyss. Life is not worth living once a hot dog stuffed crust hits the market.

But for curiosity’s sake, Pizza Hut recently unveiled the new hot dog stuffed crust pizza in the United Kingdom and those who have tried it are either: (a.) on death row; (b.) starving to death; or (c.) starving to death on death row. I can’t think of any other scenario where it is acceptable to eat this — even for the Brits.

Our society has survived many horrific creations — colored ketchup, Olestra, Saved By The Bell: The New Class, auto-tune, MySpace, Farmville — but this one takes the cake. No, it takes the pizza, stuffs it with swine, and serves it with a free mustard drizzle. I’m out. I’m done. I’m throwing in my bib.

Let’s move on.

 

I’m currently in Madisonville, KY with spotty Internet so let’s hit these News and Views before I lose my neighbor’s Wi-Fi…

 “I’ll be taking my talents, for college, to the University of… KENTUCKY! It’s all in the hair. There it is.

That hasn’t gotten old yet.

 Before Nerlens Noel made his commitment Wednesday night, UK commit Archie Goodwin tried to get a glimpse of the back of his head so he didn’t have to wait for the public announcement. Goodwin told The Sporting News that he begged Noel to pull his hoodie off and reveal his pick, but the No. 1 player in the land kept it hidden until he took the set with Dari Nowkhah. “It shocked me when I saw what it was,” Goodwin said. Like we mentioned on here Wednesday night, Noel said Goodwin called him immediately after Kentucky’s win over Kansas and begged him to come to UK so they could do the same thing.

 This.

That’s all.

 Moments after Nerlens Noel committed to Kentucky on Wednesday night, Archie Goodwin and Alex Poythress hit the recruiting trail, and they did so without having to leave the ESPN studio. As Anthony Bennett tells it, Archie and Alex turned to him, smiled, and said, “C’mon, man. All we need is you. You’re the missing piece.”

Bennett, 2012’s top uncommitted recruit, is considering Kentucky, although he plans to take five official visits before he decides. But if Archie and Alex have their way, Bennett will be a Wildcat by Monday. And it doesn’t hurt their campaign that all three guys are teammates for the West squad in Saturday’s Jordan Brand Classic.

 If Florida wants to land Anthony Bennett, Billy Donovan will have to juggle his roster around after picking up a commitment on Thursday. The Gators received a commitment from guard Devon Walker, putting Florida at 13 scholarship players for the 2012-2103 season. That doesn’t necessarily eliminate Florida as a possible destination for Bennett, but they’ll have some roster adjustments to make if he’s chooses to go to Gainesville. The full Gator roster has to help UK’s chances, if even just a little bit.

 There is a conversation we need to have before the flat top fad gets out of control. I know we all love Nerlens Noel’s style, but if we’re going to celebrate its greatness, we should call it what it is: a hi-top fade. It is not a flat top. I’m sorry. I just wanted to point out that we’re all calling it the wrong thing, although I think we’re beyond the point of return. It is awesome either way though.

 In coaching news, every Missouri sorority girl’s favorite coach, Larry Eustachy, left Southern Mississippi for the Colorado State job. Did Darnell Dodson drive him away? I’m not sure. But UK assistant Kenny Payne is rumored to be a candidate for the job in Hattiesburg.

And in other Hattiesburg news, the cajun enchilada at Crescent City Grill is to die for. It’s fresh Gulf shrimp, crabmeat, peppers, onions and pepperjack cheese rolled in a flour tortilla, topped with a spicy Creole cheese sauce and served over dirty rice. Start off with the crabmeat wontons and you’ll be trapped in a state of crabmeat euphoria.

 Did you say you wanted to see a picture of Eloy Vargas riding a horse? You didn’t? Oh. Well here it is anyway.

 Head over to CoachCal.com to check out Matt’s video interview with Calipari from the bus on the Verizon Wireless Championship Tour. There are a couple of other videos from the trip and a bunch of crisp photos as well.

 Do you think you have what it takes to be Matt Jones? Well, you’re about to get your chance. The KSTV Casting Call is back and this time it is bigger and better than ever. We’ll be holding auditions in Northern Kentucky, Lexington, and Louisville over the next month and our hope is to find someone who can sit across the desk from Matt on KSTV. I’ll have more details on the site on Friday, but your first opportunity at cn|2 stardom will be Saturday, April 21st at the Insight studio on Dixie Highway in Florence, KY. Sign-ups will be from 8:00 AM to 10:00 AM. My advice: Arrive early and dress like a winner.

 That’ll do it for now. I’ll leave you with more of Matt’s photos from Day 1 of the tour:

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

54 responses to “Hot Dog Stuffed Crust’s Friday News and Views”

  1. I heart Drew Franklin!!!

    First!

  2. GuyMissingALeg

    “Can you sign my leg?”

  3. tltaworl

    Wow, so many things in that post keep me up tonight. Hotdog pizza, Eloy riding a shetland pony, and some guy holding his leg.

  4. string music

    Larry Eustachy was at Iowa State not Missouri

  5. Hi Fade

    5 – the number Noel blocked from Polson.

  6. Hi Fade

    7- the number Noel will eclipse in the NCAA blocks record in single tourney game

  7. Missing Limb

    You found my leg. Apparently it was in the cushions of a couch on State St

  8. KY Mr. Basketball

    Any chance Anthony Hickey transfers to UK, now that Trent Johnson is gone to TCU?? Would Coach Cal want the former Mr. B-ball?? I would, think with his speed & how well he performed in the SEC this year as a freshman, he could be the predecessor of Harrow.

  9. Al's IndiCats

    I really don’t know what disturbs me most, Eloys feet dragging the ground on that horse , or that little girl looking at that guy’s leg thinking it could be an extra crispy chicken leg!

  10. UK@68

    Hattiesburg also has Brett Favre. Let him coach Southern Miss.

  11. WKY Dude

    Glad Drew’s with me. Hi-Top Fade is correct.

    #9 – I’d love to have Hickey in blue/white, but there’s really no place for him on this team. I want him to be where he’ll get plenty of PT. I actually enjoyed watching some LSU games this year. Unfortunately, I have the same feeling toward Hood. The kid’s good enough to play most places, but not UK. I hope he proves me wrong next season.

  12. Owen

    For the record, this exists and it’s infinitely more awesome than Pizza Hut’s garbage rip-off: http://avalanchepizza.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/wonderboy.jpg

  13. Owen

    I’d also like to note that it’s actually quite tasty.

  14. Whatsheorderquaterpounder?

    Did anyone see that vid on youtube where Noel was talking about shaving the school logo in the back of his head? That dude decided what he was going to do three months ago! Thats pimp!

  15. WhatSheOrder?FishFilet?

    why would they market the “free mustard drizzle”? that sounds stupid. just throw some mustard packets in there and don’t even say anything

  16. KY Mr. Basketball

    12) You don’t think if he transferred at the end of the semester & sat next season, practicing every day against Harrow, as well as possibly Teague if he returns, that he can’t become UK’s starting point guard in two years??? Granted if Harrow, leaves after this season like expected. I think his defense, selflessness & speed, fits Cal’s style a play. Me personally, I feel he made Teague & UK look bad in that game. He scored 10 pts., 5 steals, 4 assist, 3 rebs, & 1 TO to Teague’s 2 pts, 5 assist, 1 steal, & 4 TO, most of which was forced by Hickey. I think he could play at UK. Also I think Hood’s year off, to focus more on his shooting & ball handling, will allow him to break the lineup & play more this season.

  17. John W

    I hope people don’t forget Cauley. The kid is good.

  18. WhatSheOrder?FishFilet?

    Owen, is that place in Athens?

  19. Fubar

    I think I had the same sweatshirt the guy with the prosthetic leg is wearing back in ’96.

  20. BLUEinNKY

    #NKYDOESNTEXIST

  21. Buckets

    Barf to the pizza and barf to the guy holding his leg.

    I like the hi-top fade as long as it doesn’t turn into the gumby. The gumby’s just ridiculous. Kinda like hotdog in a pizza crust. Barf.

  22. BigBlueSkyDog

    Sorry Drew. “High-Top Fade Feller” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily as “Flat-Top Feller.” Besides, when did KSR all of a sudden become such a stickler for accuracy? As for the hot dog stuffed pizza, it was a frightening thing to behold this early in the morning. I think I’ll skip breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. And my midnight snack . . .

  23. CaneRunCat

    I think you all are missing the point. It has a mustard drizzle. A FREE mustard drizzle.

  24. SexnNursinHomes

    Hotdog crust pizza???? ahhh, come’on man. Seriously? The debate starts.

    Cystal Meth vs Hotdog pizza crust

    Less sodium- Crystal Meth
    Will cause death- Both
    Less cholestrol- Crystal Meth
    Causes an addiction- Both
    Will make you fat- Hotdog pizza crust
    Teef loss- Crystal Meth
    Contains chemicals- Both

    It’s a no-brainer. Crystal Meth is healthier than Pizza Hut.

  25. Tha Barber

    The actual name for Nerlens Haircut is a Box Fade. http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/7FDA_0ZX1SrvBHP5WO9E4Q?select=g_b40G4I3PPVR650NI9-8Q#g_b40G4I3PPVR650NI9-8Q Just wanted to get this corrected before Kennedy’s start churning out tee shirts with the wrong dew on them. But tons of possiblities with Box Fade:
    Noel Boxes out for 15 Rebounds!
    Noel Fills the Box!
    Best on the Box.

  26. GrumpyOldDude

    I had an “American Pizza” in Naples, Italy that was basically crust with sauce and french fries/hot dogs cut up on top……gross.

  27. Axe Cop

    Eloy isn’t on a horse, that’s just part of his body.

  28. GrumpyOldDude

    Wow, only took tons of complaining for KSR to recognize NKY does exist and get the KSTV Casting Call up here. Perhaps you can show the UK marketing people where it is on the map?

  29. FakeRichard

    I live in my moms basement and I can only post on the computers at work and I am on vacation this week so I cannot post on KSR.

  30. crazycayutsfan

    That. Pizza. Looks. Amazing.
    Drew Franklin, you are a hipster doofus.

  31. fancy feast

    Looka here ya fools. It’s not a flat top, nor a philly fade nor a portland fade. It’s so obviously an UPTOWN fade that anyone who doesn’t recognize it as such should be ashamed.

  32. Really

    Drew, you have no room to talk. You live on crap called Taco Bell. C’mon man!

  33. Mythical creatures

    Eloy is revealing his true Centaurgas form!

  34. CATSCATSCATS

    My stomach still hurts from seeing that picture.

  35. Chuck

    Weiner and pizza. Sounds like something a lot of chicks would enjoy.

  36. trueblue

    “FEAR THE FADE”!!!!

  37. BBN

    Hotdog stuffed crust pizza originated in Japan around 2002. Lived there 10 years but never bought one.

  38. C-Bone

    28, hilarious!!

  39. Azubuike's Bicep

    To us, it appears that Eloy is riding a horse, but really he is just looking for a suitable transplant.

  40. Roland

    Take me out to the ballpark to hear: “Hotdogs, Pizza”

  41. GarytheNoTrashCougar

    I believe it’s actually called “the get-laid fade”….

  42. RC

    Yo mama’s nickname is hotdog-stuffed-crust!

  43. RC

    And yo sister’s nickname is free-mustard-drizzle, boyyyyyyy!

  44. UL2UK8

    If any town are going to give Coach Cal something on his tour, please check the spelling so it does not end up on Deadspin like the Pikeville one.

  45. Beatle Bum

    I try to avoid the phrase “mustard drizzle.” In the past, those words have not been successful for me.

  46. Richard Simmons

    Find the skinny person(s) in the photos. I dare you.

  47. Biglaw Dawgin'

    18 – good point. It seems like everyone is leaving out talk about the fourth main recruit, Cauley, who is a top-10 Center in this class as well (the same position as Noel). With similar games, Cauley would be looking at coming off the bench if Anthony Bennett commits. FYI, Cauley hasn’t signed a letter of intent. We need to show this dude some love.

  48. Owen

    19. Yes, it is! They’re pretty awesome and have won a lot of international awards for some of their other pizzas. They also use a lot of fresh and local organic ingredients which is pretty cool.

  49. robert owens

    next year will say ( nine will be fine!!)

  50. robert owens

    the kentuckys firsr NOEL! WILL BE GREAT IN DECEMBER!

  51. Kevin M

    I think they should take a dollar off the price for a Pizza “without mustard drizzle”.

    Yum!

  52. robert owens

    SORRY I MEANT FIRST, BBN WILL BE SINGING A LOT OF NOELS AROUND CHRISTMAS!

  53. Kevin M

    Noel, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air just need D.J. Jazzy Bennett, and we’ll be complete.