Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Game Faces – St. John’s Edition


Woohoo! Game Faces is back, and this time we’re going to visually sucker punch those jerks coming in town from Queens!  Okay, maybe not.  Their portraits didn’t provide for the lulz as hoped, but I decided to continue on anyway.  First and foremost, I implore you - VISIT THIS SITE (textsfrombennett.tumblr.com).  It will be the funniest thing you read all day.  If you are at work or in class, prepare to hold in your laughter.  Best part?  It f-ing real.  The older cousin is the popular/talented Mac Lethal.  This site and his most recent video exploded on the web yesterday evening.  Thank me later.  Now on to business…

sealyfrank

Sam Sealy is one of St. John’s only two players not listed as capable of playing the guard position.  UK’s size advantage is incredible.  Along with God’s Gift, Sealy checks in at 6’8, which makes him a couple bolts short from being Frankenstein.  Unfortunately for Sam, he doesn’t get in much.  Damn, that’s a huge fivehead.

ggrealjesus

National Geographic ran story a few years back in which scientists set out to recreate what Jesus Christ probably looked like.  Meanwhile, God’s Gift Achiuwa was a budding young ball player who would eventually play his ball at St. John’s.  Is Achiuwa going to be SJU’s ‘savior’ tonight?  Doubtful.  This big man will try to outmuscle Anthony Davis tonight, only to have his stuff thrown into the stands.  #BrowDown

gghulk1

If you find the above picture with both of “God’s Gifts” sacrilegious, maybe you’ll like this one better.  But I doubt you’ll like the one linked here.

greeneboosie

Freshman Phil Greene is starting and playing big minutes for the nation’s youngest team.  He’s only scored in double figures twice this season, so he’s not a huge threat to the Cats.  But if he’s anything like this look alike, world’s dumbest/worst rapper Lil’ Boosie, then he poses a threat to society.  Boosie was recently caught smuggling drugs into prison, and is now stuck behind bars for eight more years.  Which, thankfully for humanity, means we won’t hear new terrible music from him any time soon.

harklesseyesfinal

If there is one St. John player to look out for, it’s definitely Moe Harkless.   Moe was Lavin’s prized recruit, even though he wasn’t truly one of the elite of elite players in the 2011 class.  He’s having a great first year, averaging 14.1 points and 6.7 rebounds.  We need to contain this 6’8 swingman if we want to truly have a #BEATEMDOWN tonight, as the -21.5 spread predicts for us.

harrisdatass

D’Angelo Harrison is the other freshman who plays the majority of the minutes.  This 6’3 guard averages 14.3 points.  More importantly, he knows how to pull off the ‘Dat Ass’ memeface to perfection.  The other guy pictured is rapper Rich Boy.  Yes, the one who was selling crack while all them haters wanted checks.

Well, that’s it for today folks.  I do have on other request…my friends, Houndmouth, are playing a free show at Zazoo’s in Louisville this evening at 8:30.  If you love good music and aren’t doing anything, check them out.  It’s a new band that sounds like a mix between The Band and The Rolling Stones, with a little Felice Brothers thrown in.  You’ll love it…I think.  It’s my new favorite local act.  More importantly…PLEASE GO READ TEXTSFROMBENNETT.TUMBLR.COM.  It will make your afternoon.  #HustlaDaRabbit

Article written by Chris Thomas

16 responses to “Game Faces – St. John’s Edition”

  1. capnmonkey

    BTW, I will save you some time a couple weeks from now when we play IU.
    Will Sheehey = Hugh Jackman

  2. JaredCarterIsMyHomeboy

    1 person cant play the “majority” of minutes. There is 200 minutes in a game, to play the majority of minutes he would need to play at least 101. He can only play 40.

  3. CatsFanInKville
  4. Toyota

    I think we should do this with the KSR crew… It only seems fair.

  5. uk3k

    the blog you have is funny… this not so much.

  6. David

    Really dude? Your name is God’s Gift? Jeez…..these people kill me with their jacked up names.

  7. UKGirl

    Those texted messages were hilarious. I picture a boss hog gangster as a person who is extremely overweight, wears a flat bill camouflage hat, lots of gold chains, and has a toothpick in his mouth held on to by the four teeth he has. A cross between a hilbilly and a gangster.

  8. UKGirl

    *text and *hillbilly. Apparently I spell as bad as Bennett does.

  9. Too early

    Texts from Bennett is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read but why on earth does that guy have so many unread messages?

  10. natboogie

    Has to be the most dead on “Game Faces” ever

  11. TheNewOriginal

    4/ Yeah, I agree. Never understood the humor of making fun of someone’s appearance. Hell, KSR even makes fun of our players.

  12. Adult

    Well, looks my posts are being deleted. Way to go KSR. I am critical of matt jones and some posts and you ban me. hmmm, nice site.

  13. Adult

    except you’ll let 12 stay to hide the fact king jones lets no one question his magnificence. what an arrogant child. no wonder he eats alone.

  14. John Hicks

    Man I generally like your articles I really do but today you have pushed the wrong buttons!
    I have a question what type of music do you listen to?
    If you Wana debate about Boosie and him being a menace to society why dont you get all the facts strait, yes Boosie is a rapper from the hood who i am sure has done things that he regrets just as any other man!! But YouTube him @ boosie Easter bash and than tell me he is a horrible person
    Listen to his lyrics, know his back ground cause than you will understand it more!
    Next time you give an opinion make sure you got your facts strait, your credibility is I’n the red right now, you made a statement that was stereotypical, just like every other journalist byist towards things you don’t understand!!
    Email me if ya Waba be taught something

    John D Hicks

  15. UKBIgDaddy

    You certainly need to stop this kind of post.

  16. Wack ballz

    Rich boy selling that, f*&& n@gg*s wanna jack, shit tight bounce back, just bought a cadillac, THROW SOME D’s ON DAT BITCH. Everybody yellin ZOOM, ZOOM ZOOM, ZOOM.