We’ve always said Mark Stoops is infinitely better at the microphone when he is chatting →
By Drew Franklin on ©7:00 pm
Guys, I need your full attention.
Gals, give us a few minutes here. It’s bro time.
Today I watched a video called “Hot Crazy Matrix: Man’s Guide To Women“ from an online group that goes by Tactical Response. And it is brilliant. It’s the perfect self help guide for all you single lads out there, wondering if the girl you just took to dinner is worth your time. If you’ve ever questioned whether or not she could be the one, this guide gives you the answer. Plain and simple. The analysis is right there in front of you on the chart, saving you all of that strenuous thinking and decision-making when you can be doing other things, like watching sports. It’s almost cheating, really.
The mastermind behind the formula, Dana McLendon, breaks it all down by rating women based on two criteria: Hot and Crazy, the two axes on the chart.
The ‘Hot’ axis is measured on a scale of 1 to 10, while the ‘Crazy’ axis runs from 4 to 10. “Because there is no such thing as a woman who is not at least a 4 Crazy,” McLendon says.
Once you rate your woman (personal preference) and plug her into the matrix, you will find her in one of the six zones:
The NO GO Zone
No matter how crazy or stable a woman is, McLendon believes anyone lower than a 5 in looks is a no-go. That automatically eliminates half of the field.
The Fun Zone
From a 5 to about an 8 in Hot and below the Hot-Crazy line, you will find the Fun Zone. McLendon encourages men to eventually move out of this zone and into a more permanent location. After having some fun, of course.
The Danger Zone
Anyone 5 or higher in Hot but above the Hot-Crazy line is in the Danger Zone. His description of this group is as hilarious as it is accurate. Check it out.
The Dating Zone
Above an 8 Hot but still around a 7 Crazy is the Dating Zone. McLendon says you can introduce this woman to your family and friends. “You can stay here indefinitely,” he adds.
The Wife Zone
If you meet a woman in the Wife Zone, you should start thinking long term. She will be above an 8 Hot and between a 5 and 7 Crazy. That’s worthy of an engagement ring.
Anyone below a 5 Crazy and above an 8 Hot is a Unicorn. She doesn’t exist.
For more on each zone, including one zone I didn’t tell you about, take five minutes out of your evening to watch Dr. McLendon explain the entire matrix in further detail. The man is a genius and he single-handedly made life easier for mankind.
By Drew Franklin on ©6:00 pm
It’s time to determine the winner in KSR’s Kickoff Playoff. Last night you voted Jared Lorenzen and “Hells Bells” into the final round, where it meets Tyler Thompson and “Lose Yourself” tonight for the crown. There is vomit on Tyler’s sweater already. Mom’s spaghetti.
Jared and Tyler survived the field of eight timeless classics to get here:
Jared Lorenzen – “Hells Bells” by AC/DC
Matt Jones – “Victory” by Puff Daddy
Bryan The Intern – “Whoomp! (There It Is) by Tag Team
Ryan Lemond – “Turn Down For What” by DJ Snake and Lil’ Jon
Shannon The Dude – “For Those About To Rock” by AC/DC
Tyler Thompson – “Lose Yourself” by Eminem
Drew Franklin – “Jungle” by X Ambassadors & Jamie N Commons
CM Tomlin – “Magnificent Seven Theme” by Elmer Bernstein
Get to voting…
“Hells Bells” vs. “Lose Yourself”
And don’t forget to vote in UK’s Kickoff Playoff here.
By Drew Franklin on ©5:01 pm
Up first, Karl Towns.
The freshman big man leads off this summer’s ‘Meet The Wildcats’ series with confessions of owning four lint rollers — he hides one at the Wildcat Lodge check-in desk — so he’s always looking fresh around campus. “I want to look like the best-looking guy possible,” he told Eric Lindsey.
Then Towns goes on to talk about being the youngster on the Dominican Republic National Team three years ago and what that experience did for his game.
He also opens up about his family, academics and several other aspects of his life that’ll make you like him even more than you already do.
Check it out.
Today the University of Louisville began the demolition process on the infamous silos that line I-65 near the fairgrounds. They were an eyesore for many, but as a kid I always thought it was the coolest thing on campus.
No word on whether or not a DJ was hired (but probably).
By Drew Franklin on ©3:08 pm
New UK assistant basketball coach “Slice” Rohrssen made his first public and first radio appearance this morning at KSR’s tour stop in Lexington and he knocked it out of the park. You’ll have to hear it all for yourself to catch his quick wit and great personality; I can’t do it justice here in writing. (Congratulating Big Brother on the success of his show was hilarious.)
When Slice wasn’t cutting up with Matt and the fans, he told the story of sending Joe B. Hall a letter in the 80s, asking if he could come to Lexington from New York to pick his brain. Coach Hall, who was at the top at the time, responded with a letter inviting a young Slice to come down and work a summer camp. Now here he is, some 25-30 years later, working as an assistant at UK.
He also talked about his longtime relationship with Coach Cal and the expectations for the upcoming season. He told Matt he is going to be like Betsy Ross sewing that ninth banner here at Kentucky.
Have a listen…
By C.M. Tomlin on ©2:15 pm
Hello, friends. I hope you’re well. I think you have some strawberry jelly around your mouth. No, not there. Not there. There. Yes. Oh, my. That’s a rash. You should have that looked at. Where would you even get a rash like that?
Friends, football season is swiftly approaching — but I don’t need to tell you that. Stoops Fever has captured the Big Blue Nation and this fall sees another opportunity for Kentucky Football to begin rebuilding itself to the perennially successful program it has the potential to be. It’s not going to be easy; I’m not going to lie to you. You know, as well as I do, that SEC football is a gauntlet of impressive assassins, and over the next few years we’re going to have to face them all head-on if we want to claim a spot at the top of the pile. For us, the fans, this also means dealing with the fan bases of these teams. So since it’s late July, nothing much is going on, and I know you guys love off-topic posts, I thought today we’d start off a two-part series updating a piece we began a few years back: our Field Guide to identifying the SEC fans we’ve come to know over the years. Have a great weekend, everyone, and I’ll see you here again next week.
Distinguishing Marks: Visor, Parrothead vanity plate, Croakies tan line, flip-flops
What to know: The Florida fan is mostly bluster on dry land; his true territory is on his boat. That said, the Florida fan — as most Florida natives — can be prone to momentary insanity. Best not to provoke the Florida fan lest he bite your earlobe off or try to run you over with a skid steer. It won’t make sense, of course, don’t question it. That is the nature of the Floridian. Their leathery, damaged skin is thick and coarse. Do not pet them.
Tips: If you are being pursued by a Florida fan, tossing a few can coozies in the opposite direction will almost certainly throw them off your trail.
Distinguishing Marks: Ironic Sperrys, “athletic fit” button-downs, glasses
What to know: Vanderbilt fans are among the “hippest” in the SEC due to their Nashville insulation. They are Tennesseeans but not rural, they are Nashvillians who prefer St. Vincent to Luke Bryan. They are generally fairly quiet, but will attack if they feel their favorite neighborhood organic nacho restaurant is being threatened. They don’t expect much from their football team so they rarely have darker moments following losses. A victory may lead to alcohol poison for the Vanderbilt fan, however, as a few more celebratory Magic Hats to kick things up a notch may ensue.
Tips: You may think a Vanderbilt fan is listening to the words you are speaking but all he hears is acid trance music.
Distinguishing Marks: Tribal tattoo, unwashed cargo shorts, open mouth
What to know: The South Carolina fan goes nowhere without a 20 oz. Diet Coke bottle full of dip spit in one hand and a 32 oz. McDonald’s cup full of vodka and Sprite in the other. Caps tend to be worn backward, shirts tend to be removed at some point, a pervasive sense of partying follows the Gamecock fan wherever he goes. Look for this fan to be shouting from the tailgate of a pickup truck pre-game and lying unconscious in the mud beneath its tire at kickoff.
Tips: The average South Carolina fan knows a guy who drank a fifth of SoCo and partied with Kenny Chesney. DO NOT ASK HIM ABOUT THIS.
Distinguishing Marks: Older age, high income bracket, expensive winnebago
What to know: The average traveling LSU fan, as noted above, is 60 years old, a successful doctor close to retiring who has the expendable income to purchase a high-level RV to take him, his doctor friends and his 45 year-old “trophy wife” in a big hat to away games on weekends. They are relatively harmless and keep to themselves for the most part.
Tips: Befriend the traveling LSU tailgating fan, as they spend a lot of money on higher-quality food than what you and your friends are eating.
Distinguishing Marks: Male – Red pants, navy blazer, bow tie, no socks, loafers, father’s credit card; Female – blonde, sundress, bulldog paw cutely painted on cheek.
What to know: The Georgia football fan generally fancies himself a higher breed and caliber than his peers, has a father in real estate development and likes to think of himself as an “southern gentleman.” Pays little attention to the game but has good seats. Once drunk, he gets depressed and cries as his girlfriend makes out with a girl.
Tips: The average Georgia fan loves the book and movie Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and believes that’s how people from Georgia are supposed to be. It’s not, and it’s ridiculous.
Distinguishing Marks: Camouflage, neon “hunter orange” instead of “Volunteer Orange,” Oakley wraparound sunglasses
What to know: Tennessee fans cannot be reasoned with and hate you, whoever you are, if you are not a Tennessee fan. Still talks about Peyton. Travels to your home field but acts as if he can’t stand to be there. Owns three or more Duck Dynasty-branded items which are not hunting implements or clothing. Tells you to “come on over here then and say it to his face” when you haven’t said anything. Has more than five punch-holes in the drywall of his garage.
Tips: Never touch the Tennessee fan’s truck balls. You could be murdered for that.
By Drew Franklin on ©12:45 pm
With 100 of its 300 top targets still weighing their options, ESPN Recruiting tried its best to predict where each uncommitted member of its ESPN 300 will eventually go. Damien Harris, Kentucky’s top target, is believed to be heading to Columbus over Lexington:
As a consolation prize, Traveon Samuel (No. 17 ATH) and Jaylin Hayward (No. 22 ATH) are predicted to go to Kentucky but with a much lower confidence rate.
By Drew Franklin on ©12:00 pm
We’ve always said Mark Stoops is infinitely better at the microphone when he is chatting with KSR. That was the case again this morning when Coach stopped by All Sports in Fayette Mall for an interview before his team begins fall camp on Monday. He was loose, energetic and undoubtedly excited to see the fans in attendance, plus he sounded pretty excited about kicking off his season in a couple of weeks, too.
Below you’ll find a rundown of his comments; you can hear the audio of the entire interview on the website later today.
Enough with the basketball questions.
Stoops understands basketball is king in Kentucky and he has said many times that he embraces Coach Cal’s program, but today he admitted that, for the first time, a question about UK basketball annoyed him recently. He was at the ESPN Car Wash in Bristol, fresh off SEC Media Day, and the first question he got was about basketball. Stoops said he was tempted to respond with: “Really?!”
“We’re all starving for a good football program.”
Feed us, Coach. Let’s eat. Big Blue Nation is famished.
Bud Dupree and Za’Darius Smith are ‘difference-makers’ on the ends.
Stoops said his two DEs are as good as anybody in the country. The interior guys will be decided by committee, but he feels very good about his defensive line. He foresees three or four guys who will play well at the defensive tackle spots inside his superstars, who he says are as good as any of the NFL talent he had at Florida State.
The secondary was a letdown last season.
After Matt complimented the secondary’s effort, Stoops told him, “Wow, they didn’t play as good as I wanted them to.”
He expects that group (his expertise on defense, he says) to be much better in 2014.
He expects a substantial step up at wide receiver.
“I don’t mean to be funny or cute here, but we were not very good,” he said of last year’s receiving corps. “We are going to drastically improve there, because all of the guys were first year guys in the program. Four of the top five guys were first year guys in our program. Three of them were true freshmen.”
He said Ryan Timmons was good with the ball in his hands but that’s all he could do last year. They had to create ways to get him the ball because he played lost. But now Timmons and the others know the offense, they know what they’re doing, and they know how to play wide receiver.
He’s really looking forward to getting Josh Clemons on the field.
Headlined by transfer Braylon Heard and returning leading rusher JoJo Kemp, Stoops feels great about his backfield. He called Heard a guy that can make some home run plays, and we all know what Kemp is capable of. But Stoops is also really excited to get Josh Clemons in the mix.
Regarding Clemons’ arms, Stoops said, “Our strength and conditioning coaches want to take pride in that, but that’s called genetics.”
The quarterback update is there is no quarterback update.
We’ve known the deal since the spring and Stoops is tired of talking about it. The staff will decide some time in fall camp before the opener.
Does he have a relationship with Bobby Petrino?
“I do not. No.”
But he plans to keep playing Louisville, even if the SEC goes to nine games.
He is surprised by how quickly they found recruiting success.
He knew it would come, but Stoops admitted to surprising himself by how quickly they’ve gone up against quality teams for recruits and winning some of those battles.
The new football complex will be “incredible.”
Stoops is very excited to get everything in one centralized location, a new 100,000 sq. ft. football facility that will house their offices, dining room, players lounge, weight room and locker rooms.
“It’s going to be incredible.”
“Never look back, believe me.”
Get ready for a new attitude on the football field in 2014.
By Drew Franklin on ©11:00 am
Before wrapping up his guest appearance on Kentucky Sports Radio radio this morning, Mark Stoops was asked one final question about the upcoming season: “What is the biggest difference fans will see on the field this year?”
“The attitude,” Stoops responded. “The fight. We showed signs of it last year and I know everybody in Kentucky appreciates that — being scrappy, being tough, playing with that great passion, playing with that great energy… This year’s team is going to have that.”
“We’re never going to look back, believe me.”
More from Stoops’ radio interview throughout the day…
By Drew Franklin on ©10:30 am
The University of Louisville received a gift of 2,500 game tickets to this year’s Governor’s Cup showdown when our beloved Wildcats returned tickets back to Card Nation. UK claimed 3,000 of its allotted 5,500 tickets, freeing up 2,500 seats to be sold to UofL fans.
Same thing happened two years ago when the game was in Papa John’s.
Bring it on, Red.
By Drew Franklin on ©9:47 am
After visiting 24 affiliates across the entire state of Kentucky, the Kentucky Sports Radio tour is now down to its last two stops: Lexington and Louisville. Today’s show is coming to you live from All Sports in Fayette Mall in Lexington and the guys have a big morning lined up for our listeners.
It all picks up with Mark Stoops in the building at 10:30 am, before new UK assistant basketball coach “Slice” Rohrssen makes his first KSR appearance, in person, at All Sports.
And if that’s not enough to get you out to the mall, the last two remaining games in the UK ticket giveaway are the Louisville and UCLA games. Someone in the building will walk out with two tickets to one of those games, while another fan earns one of the final spots in the Bahamas drawing.
Or you can join in on the fun by calling (502) 571-1080.
KSR Affiliate List
WBGN (1340am): Bowling Green
WAIN (93.9fm): Columbia
WHIR (1230am): Danville
WCLU (1490am): Glasgow
WGOH (1370am): Grayson
WHOP (95.3fm): Hopkinsville
WJKY (1060am): Jamestown
WLAP (630am): Lexington
WFTG (1400am): London
WKJK (1080am): Louisville
WFMW (730am): Madisonville
WWXL (1450am): Manchester
WFTM (1240am): Maysville
WKYM (101.7fm): Monticello
WMSK (1550am): Morganfield
WKYH (600am): Paintsville
WLSI (900am) Pikeville
WPRT (960am): Prestonsburg
WSFC (1240am): Somerset
WTCW (920am): Whitesburg
WBTH (1400am): Williamson
On Delay (ALL TIMES LISTED EASTERN)…
WVHI (1330am): Evansville, IN, 5-7pm
WMTL (870am): Leitchfield, 11am-1pm
WLBQ (1570am): Morgantown, 3-5pm
WRIL (106.3fm): Middlesboro, Thur 8-10pm
WPAD (1560am): Paducah, 11-1pm
WHAY (98.3fm): Whitley City, 2-4pm
By Bryan the Intern on ©9:00 am
You know what is kinda funny? I was sitting here thinking about what to write this morning, and I realized that KSR has done a lot of polls over our history. Favorite UK Basketball Player, Favorite UK moment, Favorite UK coach, Moments you would change, etc. But we have never asked the most simple of UK football questions:
WHO IS YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE UK FOOTBALL PLAYER?
I would think that Tim Couch would the favorite for this contest, especially for the younger generation. But hell, Couch hasn’t played for UK in over a decade so maybe Andre Woodson would be a serious contender. Craig Yeast, Jared Lorenzen, Mo Williams, Wesley Woodyard, Randall Cobb. All these guys have legit arguments for them. In basketball, it usually revolves around a couple guys: Delk, Mashburn, Prince, Patterson, Walker. You will see the same names over and over. I think with this poll, you will see a wide variety of names, both offense and defense. It’s one of the actual positives from not being an elite program, and that is fans tend to latch onto different players for different reasons. Maybe you like attitude and energy more. Maybe you like athleticism. Maybe you just like the quarterbacks. Whatever the case, there are lots of options to choose from.
My answer would be Randall Cobb. He is the only player that I can remember in UK history that I thought could be a touchdown every time he touched the ball. He was must see television. He is the only skill player I can remember having that feeling about.
But, who would be yours. Put your answer in the comments section and I will total up the votes and release them tomorrow.
t’s time again for KSR’s Top Tweets of the Day.We will focus most of our attention on Kentucky sports-centric tweets but, as usual, there are no limits to our madness. You can participate by using hashtags such as #BBN #KSR #KSRTop10 or just by simply tweeting @KYsportsradio.
#10 Richard Sherman
Can't ever be too mad lmao… pic.twitter.com/ZHA28B9Tji
— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) July 30, 2014
It’s so shinnnnnnnny.
#9 Eli Brown
Football? can you come any faster please!! pic.twitter.com/OlRKpyj7o7
— Eli Brown (@32_brown) July 30, 2014
I hate waiting, too.
#8 Colby Haney
— Colby Haney (@ColbyH31) July 30, 2014
I would put money on it. Are you paying for the airfare, though?
#7 Aaron Harrison
Happy birthday to my little big sister @theyENVYmeeee . I bought you a gift but what had happened was…..
— Aaron Harrison (@AaronICE2) July 30, 2014
Uhhhh…..the mailman lost it, right?
#6 Trey Lyles
Hot tub got me feeling some type of way!!!
— Trey Lyles (@TreyMambaLyles) July 30, 2014
Who needs lazer tag when you have a hot tub?
#5 Nick Huff
— Nick Huff (@Nickell2) July 30, 2014
I’ve never seen a guy so happy to see his girl with another man.
#4 Perry Stevenson
@PsteveBBN OMG… Can I be Kentucky Jones?! Is that name already taken??
— Perry Stevenson (@PsteveBBN) July 30, 2014
I like the effort, but that name is WAY too close to Kentucky Joe for anyone to take you seriously.
— beard (@raymondtwmu) July 30, 2014
The answer to all life’s questions.
#2 J.C. Ausmus
— J.C. Ausmus (@JC_KSR) July 30, 2014
Best city in the world.
#1 Eric J Redmon
— Eric J Redmon (@eredmon19) July 30, 2014
Hey, now. Play nice.
In case you haven’t noticed on your favorite social media outlet, Shark Week is upon us!
Everyone loves Shark Week. Everyone loves to Tweet about Shark Week. Certain movies, television shows, award shows, etc. just happen to be perfectly made for social media, and I’m pretty sure Shark Week falls into that category. Whether it’s coming up with a pun, making fun of the D-List actors and actresses in the shark movies, or laughing about the fact that Tara Reid (according to a Pop-Up “Fun Fact” during Sharknado 2) is writing a book… Twitter and Shark Week go hand in hand just like John Calipari and Kentucky basketball.
The only thing greater than the beautiful disaster that was the first installment of Sharknado, a movie in which things such as a tornado filled with sharks attack a city, is the fact that apparently the producers felt the need to go ahead and make a second one. Sharknado 2 is filled with promise, although I didn’t get a chance to catch it the first time around tonight. Unlike most people, I hope that the second one is just as terrible and hilariously awful as the first one. Count me among the folks who were sad to hear the “The Purge 2″ was actually kind of good this time. For my money, if a movie isn’t going to be GREAT, I want it to be downright terrible. There’s no in between for me. Great or painstakingly/unintentional laugh-inducing awful. That’s exactly what I’m hoping for from Sharknado 2. If you haven’t seen the first one, I recommend it to everyone. Twice.
HOW SCARY IS THIS?
And now on to the news and views from the day…
Dino Gaudio can’t stop raving about the Cats…
So now we’ve had two guys in a row essentially come away from Kentucky practices absolutely raving about this year’s team. The hype machine which was supposed to potentially quiet down after last year’s 40-0 talk got off to such a rocky star, has been amped up once again. Jon Rothstein and ESPN’s Dino Gaudio have been two of the few people who John Calipari has invited to come watch his team practice, and both have walked away seemingly extremely impressed. Here are the most interesting 4 things Gaudio had to share with the KSR crew on the radio show today following his time at Kentucky’s practice:
1) He doesn’t believe anyone in the SEC should beat Kentucky
– Although he said things could change, Gaudio doesn’t think the rest of the SEC can measure up with the Cats this season.
2) He called this team one of the most talented teams that he’s seen in a decade
– IN A DECADE? Those are heavy words.
3) The twin are drastically better
– No one made bigger strides from the beginning of last season to the end like the Harrison twins did… and Gaudio seems to think that the best days are still ahead for both Andrew and Aaron. Gaudio said that often times the biggest jump in maturity comes between a player’s freshmen and sophomore year, and that bodes well for many of Kentucky’s returning players. A sense of understanding of the system, confidence, and big game experience all factors in to the improvement that the Twins are showing on the court already.
4) Tyler Ulis and Devin Booker got some high praise
– Gaudio talked about how Ulis stood out immediately because of how small he was in comparison to Cal’s other guards and guards of the past. But Gaudio was quickly impressed with his quickness and abilities despite his small stature. Gaudio also mentioned Devin Booker’s shooting and potential to spread the floor as a guard in a number of different line-ups. If Booker can be a second shooter on the floor with a guy like Aaron Harrison, Kentucky will be in great shape.
Malik Newman seems in no rush to pick a school, which isn’t a bad thing for UK…
Malik Newman, a 5-star prospect from the class of 2015 and one of Kentucky’s biggest targets, said today in his blog for Team USA that he is in no rush to pick a school. “I think that I’m gonna wait until the late signing period. I’m not in a big hurry.” Newman does plan to cut his list of schools to 5 or 6 over the course of the next few weeks. Kentucky looks to almost certainly still be in the mix after that cut.
Newman taking his time on his decision might not be the worst thing in the world for Kentucky. Why? Because Kentucky won’t likely know what its roster will look like next year until late in the spring with plenty of guys who COULD and seem LIKELY to make the jump to the NBA. With so many players on the roster though, and so many question marks as far as who will leave and who will stay, many recruits are finding it difficult to see whether or not they would fit at Kentucky next year this early. Calipari is in a unique position this year with so many returning players. The picture is not as clear as usual, and it’s always a little difficult with the number of guys who turn pro after one season. This year is even more difficult than usual. The fact that Newman seems to be okay with waiting at least means that Kentucky should be able to stay in the mix until the very end– and perhaps by that point the roster situation will be sorted out.
Every time Cal calls his former players his sons, I can’t help but say “awwww”….
There’s nothing to me that evokes the word “awww” more than when I see John Calipari tweeting out pictures of his former players and calling them his sons. I don’t think it’s just him saying it to be saying it either. He treats his players like they are his own, and it’s not just him either. His wife, Ellen Calipari, has been known to open their home up to the players while they are on campus and even bakes them brownies for their birthdays. You can say what you want, but you won’t convince me that DeMarcus Cousins wasn’t Cal’s favorite “son” of all time. Maybe behind Brad, his real son. Maybe. Calipari even has admitted that DeMarcus holds the biggest spot in his wife’s heart as well.
Speaking of family, the UK Wide Receivers had a little family dinner tonight with coach Tommy Mainord
The new Lakers coach thinks Randle was a top 3 talent and loves his attitude…
After some scuttlebutt last week involving trade rumors for the Lakers and Julius Randle with the Suns and Eric Bledsoe, the talk is seemingly dying down for the moment. The Lakers’ new head coach Byron Scott is a big fan of Randle and had glowing praise for him in his first days on the job.
“I think the sky is the limit for him. He’s definitely talented. To get him at No. 7 is a steal. The kid was probably top 3,” Scott said. “I love his attitude. I love the way he attacks the basket. I love the way he rebounds the ball. He brings some things to the table that will definitely help us.”
That’s a lot of love for one interview.
And now for the random tweet that made me laugh today…