Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.
December 22nd, 2014

KSR Does Chicago In The Most Ridiculous Manner Possible


Exhibit #1: #NeckTatsForWillie

KSR’ers rarely get to witness greatness without being “on the clock.”  Seizing the opportunity, the tats meant for pretty girls’ cheeks were instead applied more properly – on the neck.  I can’t take credit for this ingenious idea; that all goes to Sammy the BullDozer Reider.  It somehow didn’t scare away every woman within a 10 foot radius (more on that later), but I am little upset that most people had too ask “is that real?”

Also: If you’re wondering why I’m wearing a football jersey at a basketball game – they won’t let me wear it inside the CWS Press Box.

Exhibit #2: Pizza on a Bloody Mary


And the good kind of pizza in the morning: pineapple and pepperoni, served cold, of course.  I now understand Kristen Geil’s obsession with the Lincoln Park pizzeria Homeslice.

Exhibit #3: Speaking of Lincoln Park…

…It’s probably the most attractive place in a big city there is.  Finding an ugly person/thing in DePaul’s adjacent neighborhood is nearly impossible.  The homes remind you of the Full House home.  The food tastes like stuff you can’t get anywhere else, and it’s all a stone’s throw away.  Oh and did I mention all of the beautiful people?  It wasn’t  just the Dozer and I drooling over pretty girls; the kids were cute enough to be models and the dudes walking dogs looked pleasant as peaches.

You can look, but don’t touch.  At a Kansas Bar we stumbled into the first night, the Dozer set a world record for the fastest turn down in the history of The Game.  He couldn’t even get a slice of consolation prize pizza.

Exhibit #4: Ride The Pony

The Windy City’s UK bar is nowhere near the United Center, but they made sure it was still the place to be before and after the game.  They supplied neck tats, pom poms, shuttles to and from the game, food after the game, and all of the beer your wallet could afford.

Matt often talks about the “SEC Tournament crowd” that you see on display for many road trips.  This friendly bunch was here, and going full force well before noon.  As we made our way to the back of the bar, a giant table was put in the middle of the “dance floor” (I use the “” because I don’t think it’s normally a dance floor, just when the Cats murder opponents) in front of the biggest TV in the house.  Who else would be holding it down than a strong Louisville South End contingency?  The Dozer and I felt right at home.  We simply couldn’t escape our people.

When we returned after the game, the only thing that had changed was the size of the stacks of empty beer cups on the table.

Exhibit #5: Not Too Shabby Seats


How did we get so close?  Jut a few tricks up our sleeves.  We learned from the best, PG.  But if I told you what the tricks were, they wouldn’t be tricks now would they?

Exhibit 6: We Met Dancing Guy

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Exhibit #7: Cats by (Almost) 90

There was a lot of pictures to re-hash on Sunday, but none made me smile more than this one.  The Bruin Beatdown was so bad, I thought I’d capture the moment the finally put points on the board.  But if you look closely, I couldn’t snap the picture before the Cats already had a ball going through the net on the other end.


Who’s worried about Louisville again?

Exhibit #8: The Latino Express

The name of our shuttle bus was also a play on an old stereotype: 30 people crammed onto an 18-passenger short bus for the ride home.  It was 135 degrees and the music was bad and I couldn’t stand up straight because the ceiling was too low, but hey, it’s for the Cats.

Exhibit #9:  Cruisin’ for a Boozin’ 

When Drew Franklin and Aaron Flener organize an alcohol outing on a boat, you don’t ask questions.  We didn’t, and it turned out to be….something.

Ally T and KG unfortunately didn’t share the same ideology as the Dozer and I, but it’s their loss: the boat yacht had a helicopter.  Ok maybe I should go easy with the words “yacht” and “helicopter.”  The chopper didn’t even have a propeller on top, but it made the Anita Dee II look less boat-y and more yacht-y.

The people on the boat were of a strange variety.  Everyone was fighting for a good spot in the extremely long line for drinks.  Everyone also had a Santa hat, making it difficult to distinguish between the women you had already talked to, even though the Dozer still managed to find someone he went to grade school with.  The blonde Pre-K teacher was nice.  The Memphis native was not.  I’d hate it too if my coach left a shit town that hasn’t been cool since Elvis lived there to be “King Calipari of College Basketball.”

The only thing the boat needed was a little more boogie.  I brought my my my dancin’ shoes, but most on the cruise were all about the booze.  Except Drew.  Something in the water turned him into an evil authoritarian, ordering 1,000 words to be typed by 9:00 pm Sunday.  This post is only 993 words, EAT IT DREW!

Exhibit #10:  It doesn’t get much better than this

Following the phenomenal weekend, Matt has talked about the historical significance of the game, but let’s be honest: EVERY game that Cal coaches at Kentucky is history in the making.  What you do and how you spend it will only make it better.  Anxiety over undefeated or a three-point streak is useless.  What we watched this weekend is something that won’t happen again, and that’s how it is with EVERY SINGLE GAME.  I can only hope that you will celebrate each game like we did this weekend, because we’re just getting started, bro.

It’s safe to say, we cocked back that joint and banged on ‘em.

Cats in the NFL: Week 16


Jim Biever,

Randall Cobb, Green Bay Packers

— Cobb had 11 catches for 131 yards in the Packers 20-3 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

— The Packers clinched a spot in the playoffs and will face the Detroit Lions in the NFC North Division game on Sunday

— Watch Cobb talk about the Packers playoff birth here

John Conner, New York Jets

— Conner had one carry for two yards and one reception for 26 yards in the Jets 17-16 loss to the New England Patriots

Stevie Johnson, San Francisco 49ers

— Johnson was sidelined again this week with a continuing knee injury

— The San Diego Chargers erased a 21-point deficit in the second half to beat the 49ers 38-35

Ricky Lumpkin, Oakland Raiders

— Lumpkin combined for three tackles in the Raiders 26-24 win over the Buffalo Bills; two solo and one assist


Jim Biever,

Tim Masthay, Green Bay Packers

— Masthay punted twice for a total of 69 yards in the Packers win over the Bucs

— Masthay’s longest punt totaled for 43 yards

Corey Peters, Atlanta Falcons

— Peters has two tackles in the Falcons 30-14 win over the Saints

— Peters sacked Drew Brees for a loss of seven yards with a little over five minutes left in the third quarter

Alfonso Smith, San Francisco 49ers

— Smith had two carries for 14 yards and two receptions for nine yards in the 49ers overtime loss

Jacob Tamme, Denver Broncos

— Tamme is listed as probably in the Broncos game tonight against the Bengals on ESPN at 8:30 p.m.

— Denver has clinched the AFC West Division title



Avery Williamson, Tennessee Titans

— Williamson had four tackles in the Titans 21-13 loss to the Jaguars; one solo and three assists

Wesley Woodyard, Tennessee Titans

— Woodyard combined for a total of five tackles in the Titans loss; two solo and three assists

— Woodyard recorded a sack in the third quarter after he tackled Blake Bortles for a loss of five yards



Stoops says he’s flattered by Michigan rumors, but no thanks

Mark Zerof | US Presswire

Mark Zerof | US Presswire

During his press conference this afternoon, Mark Stoops was asked about the rumors that he was one of the candidates for the Michigan job, and told reporters that although he was flattered, he’s got plenty to do at Kentucky, thank you very much. “You know, I’m unsure how to answer that. I mean, I wasn’t concerned at all because I knew what I was doing here and what I wanted to do and will continue to do,” Stoops said, joking that he’s had “very little experience” with coaching rumors so far.

“You know, I made some pretty strong statements when I was awarded that contract extension, and I don’t say those things lightly,” Stoops added. “I’m very committed. I’m very appreciative, and I’m very loyal. I’ve said those things before, and everybody has been so good to me and what we’re doing here and this whole program and very committed. I really am excited about continuing to build this program and really move it forward.”

We’re just getting started, bro.

The Stoops family Christmas card is out…did you get one?



From the Archives: Nine Reasons Why National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is the Best Christmas Movie Ever Made


Editor’s Note: This post originally appeared on Funkhouser last December. But because this is the week everyone spends watching their favorite holiday movies, it seemed like an appropriate time to re-post it. Enjoy!

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s December and just about everyone is in full-blown holiday mode. Since Thanksgiving, television networks have been trotting out their annual line-up of Christmas movies and specials, from classics like Rudolph and The Grinch and Christmas Story, to more recent creations, such as Sofia the First’s Holiday in Enchancia or whatever computer-generated abomination Disney has vomited onto the airwaves this year in their latest effort to sell poorly made toys to kids. With so many holiday-themed movies from which to choose, you might feel overwhelmed when it comes time to decide how to spend your precious viewing time.

Well I’m here to help, folks. And the solution to your problem is simple: The only movie you need to watch is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s the world-champ of Christmas movies, and it’s unlikely that any contender will emerge to challenge its title in our lifetimes. Here’s why.


1. The house-lighting scene.

There isn’t a man alive over the age of 25 who hasn’t imitated this scene at least once when plugging in the Christmas lights (or changing a light bulb or fixing a small appliance).


2. It was the last truly great movie Chevy Chase ever made.
Most of the internet generation knows Chase simply as the weird old guy on Community or the magical hot tub repairman from Hot Tub Time Machine. And that breaks my heart. In reality, Chase is, with the possible exception of Bill Murray, the greatest comedic actor of the last 40 years. And I don’t say that lightly. For my money, I’d put Chase’s five best movies – Vacation, Fletch, Caddyshack, The Three Amigos, and Christmas Vacation – up against any other comedic actor’s top five every day of the week. In his prime, Chase was the king, effortlessly portraying all the greatest comedic leading-man archetypes: the everyman with an edge, the silver-tongued ladies man, the put-upon father, and the fast-talking wiseass.

Sadly, Christmas Vacation represents the last time Chase was at the top of his game. The flick was released in 1989 on the heels of two sequels that weren’t as good as their predecessors (Fletch Lives and Caddyshack II), and it was all down hill from there. Like a great athlete whose body fails him, allowing the game he loves to pass him by, Chase lost a step comedically and was never able to fully recover. With the possible exception of the super-weird and widely panned Nothing But Trouble (which, in my opinion, isn’t as bad as its reputation might lead you to believe, and its faults certainly aren’t due to a lack of effort on Chase’s part) and Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Chase’s star never shone as brightly as it did in Christmas Vacation. That makes it worthy of the top ranking if for no other reason than it’s basically like watching Michael Jordan hit the game-winner over Byron Russell in the 1998 NBA Finals, right before he retired for the second time and then embarrassed himself by playing for the Washington Wizards.


3. Aunt Bethany’s rendition of that beloved Christmas classic, The Star Spangled Banner.
Actually, pretty much anything Aunt Bethany says is the greatest. My personal favorite is when, upon arriving at the Griswold home and seeing all the twinkling lights, she asks, “Is your house on fire, Clark?”


4. The best PG-13 freak-out scene in movie history.

Sure, the language is only slightly NSFW, but has anyone ever made phrases like snake-licking, dirt-eating, dog-kissing, stiff-legged, and spotty-lipped sound filthier than Chevy Chase?


5. Johnny Galecki as Rusty and Juliette Lewis as Audrey.
Of all the actors and actresses who have portrayed the Griswold children, Galecki and Lewis are the best all around combo in the series. Sure, Anthony Michael Hall was the OG Rusty and can’t be topped, and Vegas Vacation’s Marisol Nichols was easily the hottest Audrey of the bunch. But the Galecki-Lewis duo delivers an unbeatable one-two punch. Lewis’ Audrey perfectly captures that weird teenage dichotomy between being too cool for everything while still being secretly excited about the family rituals and traditions that come with the holidays. And Galecki’s Rusty is the perfect straight man to Chase’s Clark, a faithful son who is painfully aware that his father is a bumbling doofus, but who never lets that get in the way of his admiration for his pops.


6. Ellen’s instinctive protection of the Griswold family jewels.



7. Clark’s open contempt for his neighbors.
The holidays are a time for spreading tidings of comfort and joy, but whom among us hasn’t used Christmas and all that comes with it – the decorating, the gift giving, the holiday parties – as a chance to throw some good, old-fashioned shade on an annoying neighbor or a frenemy? Clark Griswold knows what I’m talking about. He lives next door to a couple of judgmental yuppies (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Nicholas Guest), and his barely hidden disdain for their overly sanitized, modern-decored existence is hilarious. Not only does he make their lives a living hell by blinding them with countless strands of Christmas lights and destroying their stereo system by sending frozen ice missiles through their windows, he goes so far as to don a Jason-esque hockey mask and thrust a running chainsaw in their general direction. If that isn’t what Christmas is all about, I don’t know what is.


8. Cousin Eddie.


Randy Quaid appeared as Cousin Eddie in every Vacation movie except European Vacation (he even starred in his own made for TV sequel to Christmas Vacation, 2003’s god-awful Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure). But Christmas Vacation finds Eddie at his loud-mouthed, snot-covered, RV-living best. His cream-colored sweater and black turtleneck Dickie look is so Cousin Eddie it hurts. And he delivers one of the best lines of the entire movie when he informs the yuppie neighbors that he’s standing outside in his mini-robe, emptying the chemical toilet from his RV into their sewage drain because, well, “Sh*tter was full!”


9. The True Meaning of Christmas.
Strip everything else away – Audrey’s brush with frostbite, the flirting with the lingerie saleswoman, the crass relatives, the disastrous holiday dinner, the melted cat, the exploding sewer gas, the kidnapping, the SWAT team raid – and what’s left is a movie that captures the Christmas spirit as well as any holiday-themed movie ever made. For all his faults, the Christmas Vacation version of Clark Griswold is a model father; his only motivation throughout the entire film is to surround himself with family and give everyone the best Christmas possible. As everything else crumbles around him, he realizes the true meaning of Christmas isn’t the “bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees.” It’s family and spending time with the ones you love. There’s no way a stop-motion reindeer or a taller, skinnier, animated rip-off of Oscar the Grouch could ever deliver that sentiment better than Chevy Chase and his perfectly dimpled chin.


So, if you haven’t already, do yourself and your DVR a favor and delete your recordings of all those other Christmas specials. Make Christmas Vacation the defining movie of your holiday experience. Twenty-four straight hours of it on Christmas Eve isn’t enough. Buy a TV and a DVD player and set up a dedicated viewing station in your house, one that runs Christmas Vacation and nothing but Christmas Vacation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every year from Dec. 1 to Dec. 26. That’s a sure fire recipe for the hap-hap-happiest Christmas ever.





Calipari talks Christmas traditions in his latest mailbag


The team has the next few days off to spend with their families, and Calipari spent last night in the Bronx with his daughters watching his son, Brad play. In his latest Mailbag episode, Cal tells the BBN some of his family’s Christmas traditions, many of which sound very familiar, at least to me. His family always gets a real tree (because they are the best), hangs the same, personalized ornaments, and opens one gift on Christmas Eve, which is always chosen by Erin Calipari, because “she’s so bossy.” Watch it, Cal!

Hilariously, Cal can’t remember the word for tinsel when describing how they decorate the tree. “We also put the…you know, the icicles, you know, the ‘cicles, we all would…you know, you lay them over your tree, that was one of my mother’s things to do. But you can’t find them anymore, so we had to go out and buy them online.”

Get in the holiday spirit by watching Cal’s entire Mailbag over at

Daniel Orton Gets in a Nasty Fight in Chinese Basketball Game

NBA: Washington Wizards-Media Day

Have you wondered what Daniel Orton has been up to? Well if you guessed, “playing in China and getting involved in a brawl that ended up in the stands”, you would be correct. The fight in this video is odd and gets ugly…and it also includes quite the musical soundtrack to accompany it. Daniel is one of the great “what might have beens” in UK history and this melee probably won’t help him going forward.

The 21 best screenshots from the CBS Sports Classic FanCam

Screen Shot 2014-12-22 at 1.35.31 PM

FanCams are one of my favorite things ever, especially when done in a setting as big as the United Center. Coke Zero sponsored a FanCam at the UCLA game Saturday, so when the picture went online, I giddily settled in for an afternoon of screenshotting. In addition to COUNTLESS ugly UK sweaters (Tipsy Elves must be killing it…promo code “kentucky”!), there were some great faces out there in the crowd. Here are 21 of my favorite screencaps…

The saddest UCLA fan in the entire world. Or, at least I think she’s a UCLA fan, because her dad is wearing a generic BEACH Buccaneers t-shirt in UCLA colors:

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There were plenty of UK celebrities in the house, including Mike Pratt and Tom Leach:

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Someone who I think is Mitch Barnhart:

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Joe and Jennifer Palumbo:

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My favorite Cat of the 90’s, NAZR MOHAMMED!

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And of course, World Wide Wes, who is probably reading KRS. More importantly, what is that man’s phone cord hooked into???

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There were even some KSR celebrities in the house! Looking good, Kristen, Ally, and Nick.

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As you can expect, lots of three goggles:

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I enjoyed this triumphant fist:

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And the simple #1s up:

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Robic’s hair, always glorious:

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Hey, cool guy:

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A dirty hippie:

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Four men having a good time:

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The most intimidating thing about UNC this season:

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An “8-clap” sign.

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I googled “What is 8-clap,” and found this:

That is stupid.

The UCLA bear staring down a fan:

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Finally, Greg Anthony chowing down on some popcorn:

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After his missteps during the broadcast, that was probably the highlight of Anthony’s night.

Daniel Orton involved in a brawl in Chinese professional game

Remember our old pal Daniel Orton? He’s playing basketball in China right now, and yesterday, was involved in a brawl with practically the entire Tianjin team that spilled into the stands. Check out the footage above.

But he’s a good kiiiiiiid, right?

Two coaches still not giving UK their first place votes

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UK is the unanimous #1 in the AP poll for the third week in a row, and while they are also #1 in the USA Today/Coaches poll, two coaches still aren’t giving the Cats their first-place votes. Who are they? Let’s look at the list of voters and take our best guess once again…

Tommy Amaker, Harvard
Randy Bennett, Saint Mary’s
Jim Boeheim, Syracuse
Todd Bozeman, Morgan State
Glenn Braica, St. Francis Brooklyn
Rick Byrd, Belmont
Scott Cherry, High Point
Tim Cluess, Iona
Ed Conroy, Tulane
Keith Dambrot, Akron
Scott Drew, Baylor
Matt Driscoll, North Florida
Steve Fisher, San Diego State
Bruiser Flint, Drexel
Mark Fox, Georgia
John Gallagher, Hartford
Ray Harper, Western Kentucky
Dick Hunsaker, Utah Valley
George Ivory, Arkansas-Pine Bluff
Ben Jacobson, Northern Iowa
Rob Jeter, Wisconsin-Milwaukee
Danny Kaspar, Texas State
Mike McConathy, Northwestern State
Greg McDermott, Creighton
Matt Painter, Purdue
Dave Paulsen, Bucknell
Randy Rahe, Weber State
Joe Scott, Denver
Herb Sendek, Arizona State
Shaka Smart, Virginia Commonwealth
Bob Williams, UC-Santa Barbara
Mike Young, Wofford

I wonder if a win over Louisville will be enough to convince Amaker and Boehiem–I mean, whichever coaches are still voting for Duke and Arizona–that the Cats are the best team in the land.

Find yourself in the CBS Sports Classic Coke Zero FanCam!

Hey, those two look familiar...

Hey, those two look familiar…

Were you at the game Saturday? Find yourself in the CBS Sports Classic Coke Zero FanCam! Apparently there’s some contest that goes along with it, but I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.

Here’s the link: CBS Sports Classic Coke Zero FanCam

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend my day looking for three goggles, awkward faces, and people taking selfies.

Stoops on offense: “I’m not ready to define it as Air Raid”

When Mark Stoops hired Shannon Dawson, it showed that he’s sticking with the Air Raid system, a version of which Dawson and Dana Holgorsen ran at West Virginia; however, Mark Stoops said he wasn’t ready to define the new offense as “Air Raid” just yet. “I’m not ready to define it as Air Raid,” Stoops said in a press conference today. “Things evolve constantly.”

Don’t put away that siren just yet. As Stoops said on the radio with Matt and Ryan last week, what he likes so much about Dawson’s offense is that it’s Air Raid with a little bit more balance with the running game. “It’s the same system. It’s very similar,” Stoops said of Dawson’s version, which ranks 9th in the country in passing. “Obviously, they throw the ball. …The bottom line is if you have to defend the run game, it’s going to open things up in the pass game. The more effective you are in the run game, the more effective you’ll be in the pass game.”

As we’ve heard Stoops say countless times, to win in the SEC, you have to have balance. “I believe to compete in this conference, you have to be physical. You have to have some balance,” Stoops said. “That’s what I love about Shannon and what he and Dana have done at West Virginia is they’ve really run the ball very well and have some physicality about them. But still throwing the heck out of the ball and still very creative with how they’re doing things.”

And while Holgorsen handled most of the playcalling at West Virginia, Stoops says he has complete faith in Dawson to call the shots on offense. “Shannon is a great offensive mind and a great coach,” Stoops said. “I have no worries about him putting it together and calling plays.”

How is the Dawson hire going over with recruits? “The recruits are very excited about it, because bottom line, it’s a fun offense to be a part of,” Stoops said.

Listening, Damien?

UK unanimous #1 in the AP poll for the third straight week

Photo by Chet White | UK Athletics

Another week, another unanimous #1 ranking in the AP poll. Enjoy it in all its glory:

1. Kentucky (65)
2. Duke
3. Arizona
4. Louisville
5. Virginia
6. Wisconsin
7. Villanova
8. Gonzaga
9. Texas
10. Kansas
11. Wichita State
12. Iowa State
13. Washington
14. Utah
15. Maryland
16. Notre Dame
17. St. John’s
18. West Virginia
19. Oklahoma
20. North Carolina
21. Ohio State
22. Baylor
23. UNI
24. Colorado State
25. TCU

Ryan Timmons likely out of spring practice


A bit of unfortunate news from Mark Stoops: in addition to ankle surgery, Ryan Timmons also had shoulder surgery after the season, which Stoops anticipates will keep him out of spring practice.

No, I don’t think he’ll be good to go for spring,” Stoops said. “Ryan was playing very banged up and I appreciate his effort. And we all know there are things he can do better and he will do better, but he really competed all year through some major injuries.”

That may explain the drops.

Stoops: “Recruiting is going exceptionally well”

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A jolly Mark Stoops met with the media this afternoon to recap the 2014 season and answer questions about his new offensive coordinator Shannon Dawson. After admitting it was “difficult” to watch the bowl season kick off after coming up short with five wins, Stoops said there are plenty of things to look forward to, including recruiting. “Recruiting is going exceptionally well once again,” Stoops said. “All signs are pointing toward a very good class.”

Hopefully one that will include Damien Harris, who will announce his decision on January 9th.

More coming as we go along…